My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1566: Chapter 1360: Moonlight

My flowers in finance bloom, for the sake of brave dreams with concern, never retreat even if hurt!

”Zhentian, if there is a next life, I would still be willing to live with you, because you are truly a wonderful man. But now I cannot continue living with you; the paths we’ve chosen have already determined the kind of ending we will face in the future, so I hope such an ending will not bring further embarrassment to either of us.

Anyway, today is the last time we will meet, so listen to my thoughts. When I first got together with you, looking at you, my heart suddenly skipped a beat at that moment. I knew then I was deeply trapped in your heart, and there was no going back for a lifetime.

But later, I realized that even though I loved you so much, I meant nothing in your heart. I don’t know why you chose to be with me initially, but when I was with you, it was never for your money, your family, or your status. If I cared about these, I could have found men far better than you in terms of conditions. But I didn’t do so. I only knew I was a civilian’s daughter, unable to compare to those daughters of Wealthy Families, so I couldn’t marry you as a perfect match. From the beginning, your father opposed our being together. At that time, I was truly disheartened. I never thought my path to love would be so rugged. But when I saw you resolutely stand up against your father for me, I realized you truly loved me. Whether that love was fabricated or had other intentions, I felt comforted. From that moment, I didn’t want much; I just hoped the one I loved would give unconditionally, would love me, sincerely treat me as his own, and sincerely include me in his life plans.

Even though the decisions we both made at that time were hard to believe, thinking about that youth, that recklessness is, for us, precious memories. Reflecting on those times, I was genuinely happy. Thank you for leaving me with so many memories; these memories are facts that can never be extinguished in this lifetime. They will be in my heart forever. I won’t forget them; whether you forget or not doesn’t affect what you truly think. Perhaps you’ll turn away and forget, but I won’t. From the beginning, I sincerely loved you, yet you chose to use me. You don’t need to explain now; my intuition is quite accurate. Knowing you were using me, I still followed you blindly, even knowing I would end up severely hurt. I still wanted to be with you at all costs. I didn’t expect anything else; but ultimately, what did I get in return? Your distrust, your doubts about me. What use is such a marriage for me? It’s better to end early. This isn’t the happiest marriage for either of us. During that time, I didn’t know if you were happy, but I was happy and blissful. My happiest time was during those years when you could give up everything to wander with me, homeless. I’m grateful for this, and I can’t repay in this lifetime what you gave for me. I know you lost a lot, and because of that, I can’t mend it. But I hope you understand many things. Since you’ve made your decision, don’t think about reconciling with me, because it’s unrealistic...

I’ve said everything I needed to say, now think about what you have to say. Anyway, today is our last meeting; if you don’t speak now, there will be no chance later.”

Zhang Zhentian knew that every word Xia Jing said was true. He understood that if this woman chose to hide and didn’t want to see him, even if he searched the ends of the earth, he’d never find her. The force behind her was so strong that he could do nothing to make it disappear, only comply, so whatever he needed to say, he should hurry and say it, otherwise soon he won’t even have the chance.

”Perhaps you think that when I was with you initially, it wasn’t because I loved you but had other motives. Yet, I feel no guilt for being with you. Even without you, I still love you. Until you left me, I didn’t realize that love isn’t something you can forget easily. However, I must bear the consequences of my mistakes. I can’t always put all the blame on you and let you take the fall. I understand that every decision I made at that time hurt you deeply. Yet, you didn’t leave me; you stayed by my side unwaveringly, which was comforting for me. Knowing how unfair these things were for you, yet I never stood up to speak for you, never considered things from your perspective—that is my failure as a husband, as a man. I won’t be like before, maybe you can forget me, but I can’t clarify what my heart truly desires, what life I want moving forward. I’ve come to realize that I’m not just a profit-driven person. I can give up all my gains for love; previously I would do anything for love, and now I can still give up everything for the person I love. I don’t care about money, status, fame, power; I only care if I can achieve the life I desire, the life I want. And now, the life I want involves you. Without you, it’s not a perfect life. I believe through my efforts I can find you again and build my perfect life. I hope you will wait for the day I find you. No matter where you go, I will find you. Even if it’s the ends of the earth, I will search tirelessly until I find you, even if I die trying, even if I can’t see you one last time, I will have no regrets.

I ask for nothing, want nothing, only hope that when I find you, you won’t give me despair again. I just want you to be with me. If you give me despair again, I will truly collapse; my life can’t withstand so many ups and downs. I know I was wrong; the despair you gave me made me deeply feel the coming of death. I know that kind of despair causes fear!”

No matter what pain he had experienced before, in the end, only he understood the taste of the pain in his heart.