My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1577: Chapter 1371: Words Not From the Heart

Everyone knows, outside the mountain gate, the white robe brushed by snow slowly melts away at the fingertips. With the longsword on my back, shall I ask how far the rivers and lakes are expanding, and where should I go from here?

”Child, since you chose this path in the first place, why say such things now? Don’t you think it’s meaningless and pointless? When you made this choice, you should have foreseen today’s outcome. I absolutely won’t easily forgive anyone who betrays me. When you chose to leave me, it was destined that you would endure all this pain. Have you ever considered how much pain I went through? I never thought my son would betray me. What do you take me, your father, for? If in the depth of your heart, you don’t see me as a father, why should I give everything for you as my son? Even if you are my biological child, so what? I owe you nothing, and from the day you abandoned me and left home, all debts were settled.”

Perhaps in your eyes, you think all this is as it should be. You can casually abandon everyone at home, but have you ever thought about it? I am your father, not your creditor, much less your enemy. By choosing to hurt me this way and abandoning me that day, did you ever think you’d end up with such a fate? Perhaps you never thought about it. How could you have considered so much? In your eyes, you’d do whatever comes to mind without standing in my shoes to consider my past hurts. Haven’t I been troubled enough?”

I truly hope that, as a child, you can consider things from your parents’ perspective. Why do parents choose to treat you this way? Is it because you did something wrong, or are they really too heartless? In the end, it’s just you who made too many mistakes that aren’t worth forgiveness. Do you think there’s any reason for us to forgive each and every mistake of yours?”

All our efforts are nothing but a mirage in your eyes; you simply don’t care!”

Zhang Zhentian never considered all that his father sacrificed. He could act indifferent. She wanted a life that was simple and plain. Even if the results weren’t what he most wanted to see, he hoped his father wouldn’t misunderstand him over anything. Now, the misunderstandings between him and his father are too grave. What should he do to eliminate all these misunderstandings and return everything to what it should have been? Perhaps he no longer has that ability.

”Dad, I never intended to treat you this way. Can’t you see things from my perspective and consider me too? Was I truly happy when I left you back then? I’m not that heartless person you think I am. When I left you, my heart shattered. Who could understand my feelings of exile, fearing I’d die far from home with no way back? I finally returned alive, only to find everything different from what I imagined.”

As you said, I am your son, and you are my father. No matter when or where, no matter how many unforgivable mistakes I, as your son, make, shouldn’t you, as a father, consider my situation some more? But now, it seems you never stood in my shoes to consider things for me. You only thought of being abandoned by me. Have you considered how I’ve lived over the years? I lived alone with no one to accompany me. Who could fill this loneliness in my heart over the years? I can make up for your hurts in future days, but for myself? Who will fill the emotional void I have had for so many years? Who will console the pain of losing loved ones for me? Watching loved ones leave me one by one, who would console my pain at that moment? You never cared about my feelings. My pain is no less than yours, yet I never complained, because complaining is not the way out. Even if I complain about it all, can it make everything different from before? It’s impossible, isn’t it?”

I wish time could rewind. As you said, if time could turn back, would you not have let me leave this home? And if time turned back, I wouldn’t have left home in a fit of pique like I did. These years, I’ve truly regretted. I’ve thought of countless excuses to persuade myself, watching helplessly as my loved ones leave one by one. Do you think it was easy for me? All I knew was that I was living more and more like a failure. I don’t know why I’ve become like this. My fear of everything changing is immense, my loneliness profound; who can understand my inner pain? But time after time, walking such paths and living so painfully, did any of you consider what life I should lead? Did you even think about it?”

Xia Jing knows her husband felt wronged all these years, but she didn’t expect him to feel so wronged. He endured so much, and if it ends without achieving his desired outcome, all those years of grievances have been wasted. She doesn’t want her husband to feel so aggrieved now. She wants to see him happy and smiling every day, whether genuinely or masked. In her eyes, as long as he smiles, it means he has a bit of happiness. But now, it seems even that little happiness is gone. She doesn’t know how to comfort him. She only knows she might have overdone it all, never considering things from her husband’s perspective. She always took, took things that never belonged to her originally, forgetting that everyone has their vulnerable moments. She’s afraid now; she doesn’t want such a life to exist in the world. She wants her to live happily, even if it means not returning home, at least for his inner peace and happiness.

Life till now seems like a joke, even ridiculed by oneself. Unrequited wishes always start with no end.