My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1588: Chapter 1382: Healing

Actually, deep down, you still have my father in your heart. At the moment when my son and I went to confront your husband, you chose to speak up for him, and from that, I can clearly see. You genuinely wish to live with him, but how can you, when there have been so many ups and downs between you two? There’s no need for you to continue this; you should live more happily, more joyfully. Why let past unhappiness dictate your future life? Xia Jing saw his son and grandson coming to confront his husband together, and deep down, he didn’t feel good about it.

”How can you do this? After all, she is your elder, and is it appropriate for you two father and son to speak to your elder like this? No matter your intentions or reasons, you shouldn’t say such heartless things to my own husband. When I see my husband like this, deep down, I don’t feel good. No matter what, she has been with me for so many years, so what exactly do these actions mean?

Actually, I know everything you do is for our good, but when you choose to treat us this way time after time, my heart is filled with despair. I have no way to accept this kind of life, no way to accept my own family doubting me again and again.

You should admit your mistakes. Everyone understands that when faced with doubt from your own family, it’s a deep sense of helplessness. No matter what you do, your family won’t believe you, because in their eyes, all they see is you deceiving her, do you know? But as I listen to the words you say to me and the things you do, my heart really chills, yet I choose to say nothing. I can’t let anything disrupt my thoughts, interrupt my process, interrupt my steps toward my own life. I want to rely on my own efforts to walk step by step toward the end, to show everyone that I am not just a woman who cries on others’ shoulders. I too can rely on my own efforts to reach the pinnacle of my life, even if my career comes very late, even if success is delayed, but I am still happy and joyful, because that’s the outcome I walked to with my own hands. I don’t want to rely on anyone else, that is true success!

I don’t understand what you’ve been confused about these days, don’t understand what you’ve discussed, what agreement you’ve reached, agreeing to let me stay in this family. To be honest, deep down I’m anxious, unsure of what reason you have made such a huge concession to me. I’ve walked to today time after time with such difficulty, but I have never given up. I know all my efforts must be borne by myself. Others don’t see my efforts as their motivation, and I can only watch as others are more successful and happier than I am, my heart more anxious, more despondent than anyone else’s. Why can others reach the pinnacle of their life, and I can’t? Why can others stand at the top of their career, happy and smiling, while I can only hide quietly and shed tears? Why?

When I see so many women always crying in their husband’s arms, unwilling to pick themselves up and look forward, even less willing to make efforts to make their tomorrow better, I find such a life very frightening, I don’t want to become that kind of person.

If one day I become such a person, perhaps I would despise myself, and you all would too, right? In this family, no one respects such a life or such women. Everyone in this family only respects those who work hard to achieve their own goals, not those who hide behind others, only to cry and whine and let others shield them. You understand that more than anyone, that’s not the life I want. How proud I am in this lifetime shows how arrogant I am, and I would never let that happen to me. If one day it was going to happen to me, I would stop it, and if it was unavoidable, I could only face it calmly, but if that day truly came, perhaps it would really break me, and I would become a person in breakdown.”

Zhang Zhentian suddenly realized something was off about his wife’s emotions. How could she suddenly know so much about this? Does she know all about what had been happening? Or did she have a spy by his side, or were these things told to her by their son or grandson?

”Don’t look at me, I didn’t tell my mom, Dad. You should know I’ve been here with my wife these days, and we’ve been discussing things together. You’ve been here too. You haven’t seen me leave, so don’t turn this on me. Maybe at some point, Mom was around you, and she heard everything we said?”

”Zhang Zhentian, do you know the happiest thing in my whole life was meeting a man like you who truly loved me for so long? You never looked down on my background, you always stood up in front of me to protect me. Do you know how grateful I am? But gratitude is not love. No matter how far you go for me, I can never let go of my preconceived notions about you. I keep telling myself that as long as I am happy, and as long as you can be happy, I can compromise myself, stay by your side, and never leave for the rest of my life. But I really can’t do it now, I am about to break down, because no matter what I do, in your eyes, I am nothing. All my efforts over and over again, what good is it? In the end, I’m still just that silly girl, willing to disregard everything for others, only to end up hurt!

Hearing what you said, I almost went mad, do you understand? Time and time again I try to see things from your perspective, why do you use this attitude to doubt me, why do you say such things behind my back? If you’re not satisfied, say it to my face, tell me so I can correct it. But I don’t want you talking about me behind my back, whispering is the way of petty people. When you gossip about me behind my back, do you not think deep down, I might be hurt, sad, or upset as well? We’re all adults; it’s time to take responsibility and pay the price for your actions!”

”This scene I believe you all can remember clearly, you can’t forget or pretend it never happened. Yet you say nothing because you don’t know how to speak about it. Today I say these words, I only want you to reflect on whether you ever had more than others, and whether you should cherish what you have rather than compare what you don’t?”