My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1553: Chapter 1347: Unending Pain

If the second hand never stops, the hour hand can only follow closely.

People in the city, no matter for whom your love, hate, sorrow, and joy are truly for, are only for a little taste of happiness.

”Yichen, I’m sorry, Dad didn’t know you still had dreams. Over the years, it’s been my fault as a father, I owe you too much, so much so that I didn’t even realize my own son had to give up his dreams because of my affairs. Perhaps I’m really not suited to be your father, I’m not qualified for it at all. There are so many people in the world better than me, so many people more suited to be your father than me. Right now, I don’t even know how I had the incredible luck back then to have you as my son!

Right now, I don’t want to do anything or say anything. I just want to thank the heavens for sending you to me, you are the biggest blessing and the greatest pride of my life. No matter how bad your actions might be, I will still feel it’s the pride a son brings to his father. Let alone that your actions have already surpassed everything, how could I possibly not know in my heart what you’ve done? But I’ve never understood you, I always thought you were a strong child, you didn’t need your parents to care for you, you could always rely on your own efforts to reach the end time and again. But I often forget that you also need my care, my help, my protection.”

Xia Jing also felt she was unfair to her son. Her son had already endured far too much pain on his own over these years, while as a mother she had been living freely outside, forgetting that at home there was her son waiting bitterly for her to return to the family. Time and again, her son’s despair must have been immense, each time extinguishing all his hopes, leaving only deep painful memories, deep painful waiting, to wait and wait but never find his mother returning home, even if she saw his growth, yet unwilling to return to him.

”Son, it’s mom who’s sorry to you. If it weren’t for my resolute decision back then to leave with your father, if not for my fantasy about the world outside, thinking I could make great strides out there and then be able to openly recognize you, but I forgot, at that time you needed the companionship of your parents, you needed maternal love, needed the dedication of your mother the most, but I shirked all the responsibilities a mother should bear. You must really hate me, why is it that everything I do isn’t right, why does everything I do make everyone sad with me?

Do you really hate me as a mother? If it wasn’t for the way I’ve treated you, how could you have come to this point, how could you have borne so much pain alone, how could your childhood be so dark, how could your dreams be shattered, unable even to achieve your own goals?

Regardless of whether you hate me as a mother or not, the guilt I feel toward you in the depths of my heart won’t reduce by a fraction, I will use all the time I have left to make it up to you, to make it up to you as a son, to make up for losing my qualification as a mother over these years. I will make up for all the love you lost in these years, I want to let the whole world know my son is not wrong, his actions are correct, the wrongs are caused by me being ruthless back then. You see, it’s my son, my actions forced him to become like this, no matter how ruthless he may become, that is correct, all errors are mine to bear as the mother!”

”Mom, Dad, deep down I don’t hate anyone for giving up back then, it’s a decision I made a long time ago, I don’t blame anyone, to protect the family, it’s natural for me to give up some of the things I care about. I can’t selfishly let down the century-old endeavor Grandpa built with great effort, I can’t stand by and watch those I want to protect get hurt while I helplessly stand on the side with no ability to protect them!

Now, this result is what I’ve always wanted. I have the ability to protect, I, the ones I want to protect will have the ability, to bring everything back to life. I can protect my grandpa from harm, let my wife happily enjoy life with me, let my son live worry-free, pave the way for him, let him walk fewer detours, this is the greatest wealth in my life.”

Zhang Zhentian also felt a twinge of guilt deep down, after all, it’s his son. Why hadn’t he fulfilled his duties as a father all these years, his actions always causing his child so much harm, even breaking his father’s heart too. What use has he brought to his son in the end?

Yichen, your mother is right, no matter what, we should compensate you, all the harm these years is brought by us, no fault of yours, this family has given far too much, the remaining time should be compensated by me as the father, to protect you, protect the family!

I regret it now, all the decisions I made. I shouldn’t selfishly think of leaving the family, going out alone. I shouldn’t have tried to create a new world. Staying honestly at home is the right choice, home is our eternal destination!”

”Actually, with you thinking like this, I am very satisfied. You finally realized that home is your eternal destination. If you lose your home, you lose everything, losing family, what does it matter if you gain the world? Affection is priceless and irreplaceable. Without family, what meaning does everything have? Do you think losing everything can truly be compensated?

However, I still sincerely thank you. When you say these words, I believe you genuinely want to return home, I believe you genuinely want to be kind to me as parents, want to contribute to the home, which is the greatest reward of my life!”

Time cannot be chased; even knowing love is right, I have made mistakes I can’t correct.