ShangriLa Frontier ~ Shitty Games Hunter Challenges Godly Game ~

Miner Dwarves. There are many different theories regarding to just how those creatures came to be in the first place, with one theory even going as far as to propose that they are all in fact precious stones and jewels that manifested as humanoid beings. But just as you would expect from a Dwarf template, they are all short, their bodies are really muscular and plump, and they have long and fluffy beards on them, some so long that they actually reach the level of the floor. And surprising to no one, the above description could be applied to both Dwarven men and women alike. Something tells me that telling the two genders apart is going to be a real drag in here……

「Is…… Is this it? Is this…… the place that we have been looking for?」

「It, seems to be that way to me? But then again, I can’t really tell……」

Children. They were all looking like children to me. This actually posed yet another problem here, because since children are naturally really short to begin with…… It was now increasingly harder for any one of us to actually be able to differentiate a child from an actual adult. Who would have thought that Dwarves would turn out to be so strangely problematic?

For the time being, we asked Ladder-san if she knew a way to tell the children from adults, but her advice turned out to be way less helpful than you would have expected. She said that even though Miner Dwarves might look almost exactly the same, the adults should have their elbows look as if they were made out of metal, but honestly…… All of the Miner Dwarves here have brown skin. Children and adults alike. And since their skin is brown in color, it’s only natural that the color of their elbows is also brown, like that of a metallic ore. So yeah, even though we have received a clue, it’s not like it was going to be of any actual help to us all. I guess that this is just the case of a really bad luck, huh?

「Well then, shall we do it the old fashioned way? By asking around?」

「But the way I see it, they seem to be extremely wary of us. Will we be even able to make a run for it in case the conversation goes poorly?」

「Then let’s do our best to talk things out before it is going to come down to us escaping from here.」

「Yes, that’s right…… I mean, is it? It that really right?」

Oh yes, now let’s just dress up for the part, and then…… Alright, all set.

「Weeeeeelll~~~~~~ hello there! Niiiiiice weather we have today, isn’t it!? Thiiiink you could heeeelp ussss ouuut?」

「Kyaaaaaahhhhhh!?!?!?」

Hey, you little dumbass! Why are you crying like that! I mean, that’s something I was actually expecting to happen, but now with such an intensity!

I then accelerate with the help of a skill to shorten the distance of fifty meters that was separating me from the mysterious dwarf child all in one go, and then I grab it by its neck before it managed to get away and jump into some sort of a strange hole that was right there in front of us. But that being said, I refrained from actually using Levin Trigger / Disaster Hand here, for fear that it might actually damage the child. Not to mention that it would also damage me in the process, and that was something I would lie to avoid at all cost.

「Noooooo!!! Lemme go!! I don’t wanna!!!」

「Hey, come on now, there’s no need to be THAT scared here, little one…… Oh? Are you perhaps a girl? Don’t be afraid, little girl!」

I don’t actually know which one I am dealing with here, because the looks of this child makes me want to believe that either answer would be the correct one here. But what is certain is that this child’s arm is certainly made of dark brown ore…… in other words, it is certainly one of the Miner Dwarves.

「GYAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! Get that thing away from me! Seriously! Get it away! Get it away right this instant!!!!!!」

「Huh? No, wait, wait! Wait just a moment here!? What’s this all about!? Why are you so scared!? There is nothing to be afraid of here……」

「Stupid answer to a stupid question: Maybe it’s because to the head equipment that the Contractor is currently wearing?」

Huh? Head equipment? What head equipment? This mask? What’s so scary about it in the first place? I mean, it’s just a stupid mask, so how can this even be…… Ahh, n-now I see. It would seem that the moment you equip this thing in your head, it basically makes more than half of your face look like one hell of a jumbled mess. That… that actually explains things. A whole lot, to be honest.

「…………」

「Hyiii…… Hyaa…… Aaah……」

「Umm…… GAOOOH!!! HUNGRY! SO HUNGRY! GIVE ME FOOD! LET ME FEAST ON THINE FLESH!!!」

「HYIIIIIIAAAAAAHHH!!!!!! NOOO!!!!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER!!!」

「You there! Would you cut it out already!? It’s seriously starting to get really annoying!!」

「OGOH!?」

I-Imron-san…… My HP…… its decreasing below the twenty percent…… you can’t just hit someone like that with your blacksmithing tools…… T-That’s surely illegal somewhere out there……

If you feel like letting me continue with my little act here, I can show you something even better! If that thing managed to get a reaction like that out of her, then surely enough another trick from my collection of “Forty Eight Moves of Scary Monsters That Are Bound to Give You a Fright, Even If You Know it’s a Horror Game” would do the job nicely here. Especially since I know some good ones depicting a monster with many eyeballs all over its head or the ones suitable for monsters with elongated or crooked necks. Now, speaking of which, there is one thing that I am actually genuinely curious about: what would happen if I was to move each individual eyeball on my face at the current moment that the mask is on?

「…………」

「Umm, Tschinoko-san? Can I ask you for a favor? Like, right here and right now? Can you swear to me that you are never going to do something like that? Like, ever again?」

「Huh? Sure, but why? Why would you ask me that now?」

「No, seriously. Can you do that right away? I think it would be for the very best. And I mean both for us, and for your own sake. Mostly for your sake.」

「Ah, umm, alright. I mean, if you absolutely insist……

Yes, so it would be best to not do what I was just thinking of doing. Which is a real shame, because I was sure that it would have been the best thing ever. But with so little HP left to my name, I better not do something that earns me yet another smack with a hammer or a similar tool like that. This time around I might not be able to survive that.