Peerless Bodyguard of a Stunning Beauty

When the others saw a cockroach claiming to be the Assistant, they were all completely stunned.

Xuelian stared at the cockroach on the floor. She instinctively reached for a can of insecticide on the bedside table, aimed it at the insect, and said, ”How strange. How can this little pest talk?”

Yu Lan habitually lifted her foot, preparing to stomp the life out of the cockroach in front of her. She looked at everyone and exclaimed, ”Damn, is this cockroach possessed or something? How can it talk? And it’s even claiming to be the Assistant!”

With that, Yu Lan brought her foot down, aiming for the cockroach.

When Zhao Rong saw that Yu Lan was about to kill it, he rushed to stop her. ”Yu Lan, spare him! That cockroach… he’s the Assistant!”

The Black Specter shook its head and sighed in resignation. ”This Assistant is so unlucky, truly born under a cursed star. During the recent out-of-body Soul Transfer, a cockroach possessed the Assistant’s empty body, which resulted in a Soul Exchange between the two of them.”

Before the Black Specter could finish, the cockroach on the floor began crawling toward the group, its tiny voice squeaking, ”What’s happening? Why has everything around me gotten so huge? Even Zhao Rong, Yu Lan, Xuelian, and the Black Specter at the door have all turned into giants! Have I, the Assistant, become a dwarf?”

Looking down at the scuttling insect, Zhao Rong explained, ”Assistant, it’s not that you’ve shrunk or that we’ve grown. Your soul has entered the body of a cockroach.”

Hearing this, the Assistant was utterly shocked. He scrambled up onto a stool to look at his reflection in the mirror. He was so terrified he could have died. ”Damn it! Of all the things my soul could possess, why did it have to be a cockroach? This is a death sentence!”

Just as the cockroach was lamenting its fate, the Assistant’s now-empty body suddenly scuttled away like an insect and shot under the bed.

In contrast to the Assistant’s failed Soul Transfer, Lili’s was a perfect success. When the resurrected Lili rushed to the dormitory door, everyone joyfully pulled her into an embrace. They swarmed her with kisses and hugs.

”Lili, you’re finally yourself again and not the Assistant anymore! Thank heavens and earth your soul didn’t get stuck in his body forever!”

Lili touched her own body, saying happily, ”It feels so good to be myself again! It’s wonderful to be a woman again!”

At that moment, Zhao Rong spotted a gecko on the wall creeping toward the cockroach. Startled, he yelled, ”Look out! The gecko! If it eats that cockroach, it’ll be eating the Assistant’s soul! He’ll be erased from this world forever!”

Without a second’s hesitation, Zhao Rong grabbed a nearby water bottle, slapped it over the cockroach, and then scooped the insect inside. Looking at the cockroach trapped within the plastic, Zhao Rong said apologetically, ”Assistant, to keep you safe, we’ll have to carry you around in this water bottle for now. You have far too many natural predators.”

With the immediate danger averted, Zhao Rong turned to the Black Specter. ”Black Specter, what do we do? The Assistant is a cockroach! How do we get his soul out of this thing and back into his own body?”

The Black Specter replied, ”To return the Assistant’s soul from the cockroach to his own flesh, there is only one way.”

Hearing that there was a solution, Zhao Rong stepped forward eagerly. ”What is it? Tell us quickly!”

The Black Specter dragged the Assistant’s body from under the bed. It glanced at the water bottle in Zhao Rong’s hand and said, ”For the Assistant’s soul to be restored, his body must eat this cockroach.”

When the three women heard this, they all gagged in disgust.

Lili retched and said, ”Cockroaches carry more bacteria than any other insect in the world! I’d rather die than eat one!”

Xuelian wiped food residue from her mouth and added, ”If I were the Assistant, I’d rather live my entire life as a cockroach than eat one.”

Yu Lan, still holding the can of insecticide, said, ”Instead of making the Assistant suffer through that, it would be kinder to just put this cockroach out of its misery and send it to the Western Heaven.”

Just then, after pulling the Assistant’s body into the open, the Black Specter produced a pair of pliers from its pocket. It pried open the Assistant’s mouth, poured the cockroach from the water bottle inside, and then forced a large gulp of water down his throat.

GULP.

The Assistant swallowed the cockroach whole. Instantly, a miracle occurred.

The Assistant, who had been curled up like an insect just a moment before, slowly straightened up and stood. He patted the dust from his clothes, smoothed his hair, and stroked his mustache. ”Have I, the Assistant, truly returned to my human form?”

Seeing that the soul had indeed been restored, Zhao Rong rushed forward and hugged him excitedly. ”Assistant! You finally went from being a beauty to a cockroach, and now you’re back to being yourself again!”

Hearing Zhao Rong’s words, the Assistant suddenly burst into tears. Seeing him cry so emotionally, everyone assumed he was weeping with relief and joy after his near-death experience and transformation back into a human.

However, just as they were preparing to comfort him, the Assistant pulled a DVD out of his pocket and slid it into his laptop. Clutching the computer, he sprinted toward the bathroom.

”The movie I rented for ten yuan the other day! I can finally watch it!”

As he dashed into the bathroom, he bolted the door from the inside and declared, ”It’s so good to be a man! It’s great to be a man! Being a man is awesome! I, the Assistant, can finally watch my movie and… you know…”

Everyone realized the Assistant wasn’t crying with joy over becoming human again; he was crying out of sheer excitement at finally being able to watch his movie and masturbate. At this realization, they all collapsed to the floor in shock.

Just as they lay there, a ghostly shadow flickered in the dormitory doorway and vanished.

The Black Specter shot to its feet with a kip-up. As it bolted out the door, it yelled, ”Not good! That must be a spy from the Toad Headmaster! We have to catch it!”