My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1539: Chapter 1333: Luck

Old Master Zhang truly didn’t know what language to use to speak about his son and daughter-in-law. Why is it that in their eyes, family seems so trivial and so easily dismissed? Is it so difficult to give even a little bit of genuine love to someone?

He felt that he had given too much over the years and believed that he would end up with such a conclusion in this life. He hoped everyone in the family could try to understand him. How did she forgive him? He would be happy with even a little bit of love, but why, in the end, did he find that all of this was just his imagination? He got nothing in return, no matter how hard he tried, he was nothing in the hearts of his family. His son didn’t see him as a father, and everyone in the family thought about escaping, wanting to stay far away from him. Was he really so terrifying? Reflecting on these years, he had given so much. Everyone should understand the hardship of each struggle.

”I don’t understand why my effort seems so insignificant in your eyes. I asked you, I’ve given so much, but what is the result you finally gave me? Who cared about my inner pain? Step by step I got here, how difficult it was, who considered my feelings, my effort, everything I gave? I really don’t know what words to say to you. I only know that these years, I’ve been living in great pain. Every step felt like treading on thin ice, but I have never regretted it. I just hope my family could stay by my side. I just wish everyone could give me the conclusion I’ve most wanted, even if just a tiny bit of false affection, telling me it’s for my own good, for loving me, I would be so happy, so happy!

I’ve done too many bad things in my life. I cannot even tell which is right and which is done, as long as you want it, I will do my utmost to give it to you. But I still want to give you everything because I love you. For this family, I can give everything. You are my son, how could a father heartlessly close the door on you again and again? I can’t do that. Can you give me, as your father, a little time to calm down and decide how I should choose to love you, how I should express my feelings to you?

Child, sometimes I think about what all this is for. Don’t give all things for this so-called everything yet knowing so little. You should think about what kind of life you really want. Why bother thinking about unhappy reasons for things not worth it? Everyone has their path to walk. What we should do is make our lives richer and more colorful, not doubt all we face in this sad life.”

”Dad, do you know I once wondered what all my efforts were for? All I wanted was for everyone in the family to have some understanding of me. But in the end, who understood my feelings? As I walked step by step to today, who stood from my perspective to consider these problems? I really don’t understand what I should do to get your genuine love. I’m so scared that I will never have the chance to meet you again in this lifetime. I’m so scared that I’ll be stuck outside forever, unable to come home. I’m afraid, I don’t want to experience this kind of life ever again. This kind of life makes me feel insecure. All I want is a simple, stable life, but why is it so despicable? Is it really that hard to get what I want?

I really wish time could flow backward. The day it flows back would be the day I choose to give up everything, to be with you. I can never forget the day I turned around and left, tears streaming down as I walked away. You know how much that hurt me?

Dad, have you thought about it? Though I made the wrong choice as a child to leave this family, that isn’t what I intended deep down. I never thought of abandoning anyone in this family. I made that choice only out of necessity, and each step I took was forced by circumstances. That’s why everything turned out like this. I have no way back, no road to return to, but I regret it. I truly regret it. I regret every decision I made, every sorrowful effort I gave. I just hope I can return to this family, to be by your side. I keep pleading for your forgiveness. But who among you has stood in my shoes to forgive me even once?

You say I did all this just for Xing Xing’s sake, hoping to change my son’s opinion of me. But have you thought about why I did this? Is it just because of what my son said to me? All I want is a simple life, to live peacefully, uninfluenced by anyone, without interference or threat, living the life I wish without anyone changing my path.

But now I’ve found that everything has changed. I feel lost and directionless. I became a confused soul, stumbling around a baffling forest, not knowing how to walk this road. All I wish for is to live by your side and be a dutiful son. You don’t need to leave this family ever again, without any more influence over you, and what did I do wrong? Why can’t I achieve this kind of result? I’m scared, I’m regretful, I don’t want to continue living like this. All I want is a simple, peaceful life, but in the end, I gain nothing.

Dad, just consider it like I’m begging you. I beg you, let me stay peacefully by your side. Don’t drive me away. I won’t act out anymore, won’t get angry at anything. Just let me stay by your side. Isn’t that not a hard thing for you? Right? I’m begging you. Please give me a hand during this meeting. Please don’t let such a person control me anymore. I’m begging you. I can’t take it anymore; I’m in so much pain. You know, right? This life is not what I want. I’m begging you, begging you sincerely, let me return to your side...”