My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1517: Chapter 1311: Thoughts

No one will wait for you to guess their every thought, everyone has their own path in life, their happiest and most blissful moments, and also the moments they find most unbearable.

Xia Jing saw her son and grandson attacking her husband together, and indeed, deep in her heart, she was not feeling good.

”How can you do this? No matter what, she is your elder, is it appropriate for you two to say such words to your elder? I don’t care what your reasons or purposes are, but you cannot say such heartless words to my husband. When I see my husband like this, deep down my heart truly doesn’t feel well. No matter what, she has been with me for so many years, and what are these things you are doing?

I know you are doing all of this for our good, but every time you choose to deal with us in this way, I become desperate in my heart. I have no way of accepting such a life, I can’t accept my loved ones doubting me over and over again.

You should admit your mistakes. Everyone knows the deep helplessness in facing the suspicion of your own family. No matter what you do, your family won’t believe you because they only see your deceit in their eyes, understand? But every time I watch you say those words and do those things to me, deep down, I feel truly disheartened, yet I choose not to say anything. I can’t let anything affect my thoughts, disrupt my focus, or interrupt my life’s steps. I need to rely on my strength to reach the end, step by step. I want everyone to know that I’m not just a woman who can only cry in someone’s arms. I will also strive to reach my life’s peak with my own effort. Even if the career comes very late, even if the success comes very late, I’m still very happy because that’s the outcome achieved by my own hands without relying on anyone. That is true success!

I don’t understand what kind of confusion you have been in these days. I can’t understand what agreement you reached or discussed. You agreed to let me stay in this house, but honestly, deep down I only feel uneasy. I don’t understand what reason is big enough for you to make such a concession to me. It’s really not easy for me to have come this far, yet I never gave up. I know that all the efforts I make, I must bear on my own. Others won’t consider my efforts as their motivation to move forward. Only when I see others succeed more than me, or others are happier than me, that moment deep down I become more anxious and devastated than anyone else. Why can others reach their life’s pinnacle while I can’t? Why can others stand happy, content, and smiling on their careers while I can only hide silently and cry? Why?

When I see many women only willing to cry sadly in their husband’s arms, unwilling to pick themselves up and look forward, and even more unwilling to strive for a better tomorrow, I actually feel very scared seeing such a life. I hope not to become such a person.

If one day I become that kind of person, then I might as well despise myself, including you, and everyone in this family will despise such a life and such a woman. Everyone in this family only respects those who work hard to achieve their goals, not those who hide behind others crying and whining, using others as shields. You know this better than anyone, that isn’t the life I want. The more proud I live, the more arrogant I am, and I will never let such things happen to me. If one day these things are about to happen to me, then I will prevent them from happening. If it’s unavoidable, I can only choose to face it calmly. But if that day truly comes, maybe I really will be shattered by it, become a broken person.”

Zhang Zhentian suddenly realized something seemed wrong with his wife’s emotions. How could she suddenly know so much? Did she know all about this? Or did she have spies by his side, or was it his son or grandson who told her?

”Don’t look at me, this wasn’t something I told mom, dad. You should know I’ve been here these days with my wife discussing. You’ve been here too, and you didn’t see me leave, so don’t blame me. Think about whether my mom followed you sometime and overheard everything we said.”

”Zhang Zhentian, do you know the happiest thing in my life is meeting a man like you who truly loved me for so long? You never despised my background, always stood in front protecting me. Do you know how grateful I am to you? But those are gratitude, not love. No matter how far you go for me, I can’t let go of my old prejudices against you. I keep telling myself that as long as I’m happy, as long as you can be happy, I can wrong myself, compromise to stay by your side, never leaving, but now I really can’t do it. I’m about to collapse because whatever I do, in your eyes I’m nothing. What is the point of my efforts over and over again if in the end, I’m just that naive fool who disregards herself for others and ends up with pain!

Hearing what you say, I’m about to go crazy, do you understand? I keep standing in your shoes to consider the issues, why do you doubt me with this attitude? Why talk behind my back like this? If you are dissatisfied, say it to my face, and I can change. But I don’t want you discussing me behind my back, that’s what insidious people do. When you talk behind my back, do you ever think my heart can be hurt, sad, or upset? We are all adults; we should take responsibility and pay the price for our actions!”

Maybe there is a bit of helplessness, or maybe it’s going too fast, but the love you gave me made me dependent, filled my heart with the rhythm of love.