My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1532: Chapter 1326: Displaced Rhythm

After I got used to selfishly leaving, I also became unaccustomed. How is this simple? It only makes my heart uneasy. And of course, watching you leave and hanging up every call quickly, hastily saying goodnight, I finally understand you want to leave me.

”Xia Jing, can you please not say things that hurt my heart? You know deep down, I really love you. For you, I’ve sacrificed a lot. No one understands more than you the storms we’ve weathered over the years. Reaching today hasn’t been easy, I only wish for more understanding and tolerance between us. Why do you choose to hurt me over and over again?

Or do you think in your heart that I’m someone anyone can casually be with? What have I endured over these years? I can be with you, I can give up everything for you. I can be indifferent to everything you do even when you betray me. I just hope you can stay.

But for everything I’ve supposedly done for you, what do you take me for? A tool to use? Think about the things you’ve done. Do you really believe there wasn’t a single mistake? I never say anything because I know some things are better left unsaid.

Perhaps you think that these years have been easy for me, that I quickly achieved my goals without effort. But the true pain is known only to me. No one can bear all of it for me because speaking out will not concern others. Everything done over and over again remains the same.

But today, the way you said this doesn’t make me happy, not at all. You say these words as if, within your son’s world, showing me a modicum of respect would prevent you from saying such hurtful things today.”

”I didn’t intend to embarrass you, nor did I mean to make these words public.

And today, I chose to say all this just to give you a chance to prove yourself. Over the years, you’ve sacrificed so much for me. I won’t be as reckless and self-centered as before, judging all your mistakes alone. You should have your own life. All the efforts you made are exactly the results we should desire. If I were truly selfish and self-serving, I wouldn’t stand here revealing this so-called truth to everyone. Your sacrifices, all your efforts, would all turn to bubbles. I can’t bear the thought of those wonderful memories you gave me being destroyed, how could I allow others to hurt you while they criticize you one by one, and I just hide behind you letting you bear all the hardships? I really can’t do it.

Previously, I was too selfish and self-centered, not admitting the great harm my actions caused you. I apologize for my past actions, deeply feeling guilty. But I really hope your future won’t be spent in such days, do you know? Every time I hear my son and grandson criticizing you together, I feel a deep pain inside, I can’t understand where this inexplicable heartache comes from, I just want you to live happily and wish you could smile happily every day, even if laughing without a care in the world, I would still be happy and joyful.

You know I’ve made many mistakes in my life, I’ve paid over and over, all in hopes that my family can be happy and joyful. I never thought about what I would become in this life, only wanting my loved ones to be happy. I only wish the ones I love and who love me can stay with me, never leaving no matter where and when.

When I learned my son was trying to keep me, I was actually excited and thrilled. At least in my eyes, I felt my son was gradually accepting me, but I didn’t expect that it wasn’t the case at all. Maybe in your eyes, life is like this, but in his eyes, it wasn’t. Our paths are completely different. They can’t live systematically while our lives were long predetermined. If you hadn’t rebelled, if I hadn’t stubbornly wanted to be with you back then, do you think we would have our happiness today?”

”Mom, regarding the situation between you and dad, I really don’t want to say more, repeating the same words over and over. Do you know? I also want a simple and happy life, but I knew when she chose to leave me, I was actually very hurt, but have you ever thought? To gain, you must first lose. The gain and loss ultimately mean to gain, you must first let go. I’ve never felt so clear about this in my life as I do now. Every decision I’ve made, I know in my heart what kind of situation it might bring me. I’ve never regretted any mistake I’ve made. I only desire a stable and peaceful life. Maybe that life isn’t like this for you, but do you know? I hope such a life will stay in my world and never disappear.

I’ve said countless times, even if you had abandoned me back then, I never cared. I’ve learned to let go because I need to learn to grow. As one grows, they see through many things. I’ve already seen through this very clearly. But why in your eyes, do I still seem unable to make such progress? Why are you never willing to believe I’ve truly forgiven you? Or do you think your actions aren’t worthy of my pride? If you genuinely repent, even if I don’t want to forgive you now, as long as I see your efforts to make amends, I will eventually forgive you one day.

Mom, think about everything from the standpoint of your family. Your family is the least enduring to harm, and he’s the one who loves you with all his heart and soul. If you truly missed such a person, how would your future life be? Even if you find someone richer or more handsome, the sweet words said at the time will turn bitter after leaving. He might chase you with determination, and once achieved, can easily abandon. I don’t believe there’s so much love at first sight in the world, but I believe those who do are the best partners in the end. Don’t try to test others’ sincerity. True feelings can’t withstand tests. After long tests, sincerity turns into falsehood!”

In hindsight, only helplessness remains. Don’t let me grieve silently alone, as much as I feel hurt, my heart aches because I genuinely love you.