My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1538: Chapter 1332: In the Depths of Pain

Perhaps deep in your hearts, you will never understand how much one person cares about another, what that feeling is like, when you watch your most beloved person leave your side time and time again, and when you see the person you care about the most return to the country but unwilling to stay by your side, repeatedly leaving to escape you, in that very moment your inner world actually collapses. You never thought that day would turn out so despairing, and you never imagined that the one you love the most could be so heartless and unfeeling.

Some time later, Xia Jing came back from abroad again. This time, he not only wanted to continue living here, but he also wanted to see how his son and family were doing. In the blink of an eye, five years had passed. During these five years, he disappeared for the entire time. He did not fulfill even the slightest of his responsibilities as an elder, and he felt deeply guilty. However, he had no way out. He always felt that he had done so many wrong things that someone had to take responsibility for them. In these five years, he took on all the responsibilities he should have assumed and paid back everything he owed during those years! Sometimes he didn’t even know himself; he asked, why was I doing all this? But in the end, he realized there really was a reason. It wasn’t just for the people he loved, but for his lifelong happiness. He didn’t want to live with guilt anymore; living with guilt is incredibly exhausting. He wanted to live peacefully, and securing his future was already enough for him. The sufferings she had endured in her life were more than enough. Sometimes, when he looked back, he thought about how much he sacrificed for living with his beloved husband, but all it resulted in was heart-wrenching pain. He never imagined that his husband would heartlessly abandon him. It was an unerasable wound for him; why did his husband never consider how much he had given? He always tried to make his husband live happily, but in the end, it all resulted in such an outcome. Now, thinking back to those days, he still couldn’t find joy, but he knew he should try to move forward in happiness. One shouldn’t always stay in the same place; everyone must learn to grow, only then can she live happily for a lifetime.

After returning to the country again, he was constantly torn about whether he should go find his son and daughter-in-law. He didn’t know how to face this young couple. He knew that he had ruthlessly abandoned them again and left He Jie. His heart was filled with pain. Since he chose this path back then, there was no turning back now. What happened is already done, and now, in this state, how could he face his son and ask for forgiveness? He had done so many wrong things. The heavens hadn’t punished him yet, and that was already a great outcome. Why be so greedy to ask for more benefits?

”Yichen, your mother has returned to the country again, did you know? I understand that many things shouldn’t be meddled with, but grandpa hopes you can understand that your mother coming back all of a sudden without any reason, I’m not sure what her intentions are, but I hope you can know the difference between what should or shouldn’t be done? You shouldn’t engage in those futile struggles anymore like you did before. You know, when your mother abandoned you back then, it showed that she didn’t care about you. Don’t feel guilty about your mother abandoning you!”

”Didn’t he already leave and isn’t coming back? Why choose to return now? Is it because he’s regretful? He made choices again and again, why is he regretting now? Is he really such a capricious person? I truly don’t understand, in my mother’s heart, what am I as a son? I don’t know what they want from me for them to feel satisfied. I don’t know what level I have to reach as a son for them to think I’m a good son. I also hope my mother could stay with me, but every time the result is pain. He never stayed with me, he always wanted to abandon me again and again. She never considered keeping me by her side, never thought of me as her son, never understood that I too feel pain, that I also care and endure those sufferings. Grandpa, five whole years have passed, why suddenly choose to return again? Why is she doing this? When she does things, can’t she consider me a bit more? I hope my mother could think of me more, stop being so selfish, it makes me feel very tired. I never thought my mother could be so selfish, yet now she returns again, does she want to selfishly abandon me again?”

Old Master Zhang knew that this matter wouldn’t end so easily. He knew that this time the impact on his grandson was indeed too great, but he never dared to speak because he believed if he spoke of it, his grandson would surely suffer even more. He didn’t wish to see his grandson live in such pain, he only hoped to see those he cared about live joyfully and safely, that was enough.

”Don’t worry about the child’s schooling, you shouldn’t complicate these matters. You should know that your mom had her reasons for abandoning you back then. In her heart, you’re the most important person. Your mother values you so much, you shouldn’t speak this way about her, no matter what she did, she gave you life and that’s why you have today. Regardless of the role she played in your growth, you should be grateful. As long as you hold gratitude in your heart, society will surely return your smile!”

”Alright, grandpa, now that my mom has chosen to return to the country again, I should go see her after all. She is my mother, no matter what she has done, I cannot be like those people without conscience, I should consider my mom as the most important person in my life. Even if she never accompanied me before, she gave me life, allowing me to grow and achieve what I have today...”

”That’s my good grandson. Grandpa always knew that as long as grandpa talks to you, you will understand the truth in it. Grandpa didn’t misjudge you, keep it up, child. Grandpa believes in you!”

I remember every event I have been through, not because I don’t want to forget, but because I cannot forget, I cannot let it slip away. If I forget everything, then all the pain I’ve endured before would just be eternally buried in my heart. No one else can bear the sufferings and pain I have experienced.