My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1507: Chapter 1301: A Pleasant Night

What does it actually feel like to go through a tsunami? I finally experienced that cataclysmic exhaustion, including a soul that is not deeply rooted within. Nevertheless, we must eventually come to a reconciliation. On your side, on mine, it is best if our worlds do not overlap again. Let’s not try to return to that excessively long yesterday, with too much love and too many tears, not to be wasted like this again.

”Dad, I’ve said it many times, sometimes deep down inside you, I know whether or not you have no friends. I also understand those hurts you will never forget.

If you have truly considered, is it possible this is the consequence of what we have done? Because I know what all of this is truly for, who can understand my painstaking efforts?

Perhaps you will never understand it deep down in your heart, so I will learn to be someone new. I have borne all of this myself, and I will never forget why I became the way I am today. I’ve indeed worked hard to get where I am, creating a lot of unhappiness, but I have never given up because I know I must rely on my efforts to reach the pinnacle of life. I cannot declare war on others in my weakest moments. Everything I once gave up was a mistake. I hope you can consider things from my perspective.

You are my father, just like you said about me. If I have always chosen to help you in this way for my own achievements and experiences, no one will be happy. Can you be happy and blissful? Have you ever thought that your ultimate decision on you today is not just like this?

Indeed, I feel afraid and hesitant. I don’t know what all of this is for. I am even more unsure of the meaning of doing more than these things. I watched helplessly as the person I love the most gets hurt again and again. Do you know what a failure that feels like?

In fact, you have never considered things from my perspective for a moment. You simply cannot understand how difficult it is for me to live in this world and how hard it is. In your eyes, you think everything you do is right. But have you ever thought about how hard it is for those around you to live? What have you seen? I don’t understand what, in your eyes, is worth everyone’s attention. You have changed it all, and I don’t know what to do, in your eyes, so that everything doesn’t return to its original state.

You are my father. No matter what decision you make, I must forgive you. No matter where and when, I must consider things from your perspective, no longer living carefree as before; living like this activity, I will feel happy and joyful. For you, however, it is painful. I can’t let you feel pain. But at the very moment I chose to abandon my dreams time after time to fulfill you, I’ve already known what the conclusion of my life would be. I do not regret any of my decisions, but I also hope you can support all of my efforts, believe that my every choice is right, and do not always think about stopping me from pursuing the life I truly want, okay?”

”Child, why have you still not understood by now that these matters are not things that can be solved just by Dad forgiving you? Do you really think every hurt at home means family members are willing to jump through multiple loops? They aren’t Saints; they cannot stay carefree and forgive after being hurt once, originally telling you it’s okay, you can hurt them as you wish. They aren’t anything, even Saints can’t be so broad-minded to forgive time and time again.

Perhaps up to now you have not figured out what you truly want most. In your heart, none of it truly matters. What you care about is your own age. You have never thought about what kind of life you most want this whole life to be. To get to this point today, I do not know the purpose of everything you have done. I do not believe you are so heartless. I hope you can prove to everyone with your actions that your behavior was not intentional, you truly didn’t mean to hurt everyone. You simply hurt them accidentally and are willing to make amends for your past actions, proving you were wrong.

I will never easily believe a word you say again in this life. Each time I give you recognition, you choose to hurt me over and over again. In the end, I got nothing. In your eyes, what kind of father am I, a person to be hurt casually, something to take if you want or discard if you don’t, just for your happiness, keep me by your side when you are happy, completely discard me when you are not? Have you thought about how difficult it is for me? How hard it has been for me to get to where I am today?

Perhaps you never considered this, because in your eyes, things couldn’t just be abandoned as easily. Only financial freedom, but never the things that are impossible to abandon. Because you no longer see family, money can make you silent; it allows you to change all your ideals and states. Perhaps money really has such great charm, but it cannot change the deep feelings I have for you in my heart. I hope everyone can have their own idea of how to walk, you wish everyone could have their own path to bear, no more using such means to hurt everyone, everyone can heartily live the life they wish to have. Our greatest joy is surely to make every member of the family happy, isn’t it?

I also know that today you really want me to be able to forgive you, but I really can’t do it. If the time is truly ripe, if you truly acknowledge your mistakes and correct them, if you never again make the same mistakes like today, if every word you say in the future can be believed by others as the truth, if you keep each word and every promise you make, that will be when I will forgive you. I hope you will remember forever the words I say today, you will never change. I will only forgive you if I can see your genuine actions, watching with my own eyes how you change yourself, making everything different from what you once imagined.

Child, don’t say Dad is ruthless. Dad truly does not want you to live such a life, genuinely unable to watch his child put down one grave mistake after another in front of him tomorrow, and yet as a father you can only stand aside, unable to help him solve it. Do you know how much of a failure I feel inside as a father?”

Once you have crossed all those landslide collapses, you will realize that all pain is so insignificant. The sun will still rise from the east and set in the west. There are too many details, too many fragments we will not forget. Yet a relationship can just end when it says to end, and the same emotional pain remains silent in the deep recesses of the mind.