This Doctor Is Too Wealthy

”Didn’t you go for a checkup?”

”I did.”

”What did the Hospital say?”

”They said I have a mild urinary tract infection.”

Du Heng raised an eyebrow. ”You know the cause. Just take your medicine then.”

Wei Kaida looked frustrated and said indignantly, ”I’m not a fool! I can read the test sheet too. Yes, there is a mild infection, but this infection wouldn’t cause me to feel more pain the more I urinate, and the more it hurts, the more I need to urinate. What’s more, I’m having problems with... well, let’s just say I have trouble rising to the occasion. Can a mild infection do that?”

Du Heng ignored Wei Kaida’s rant and directly asked, ”So, did you take your medicine?”

Wei Kaida deflated. ”I did, but it’s even worse now.”

”Didn’t you check it out yourself?”

”Check what? If I knew what was wrong, why would I come to you?” Wei Kaida was getting angry. ”Listen, buddy, I came to you for treatment, not for an interrogation. Can you help me or not?”

Seeing that Wei Kaida was really pissed off, Du Heng quickly conceded, ”Okay, okay, I’ll take a look at you now.”

At first glance, Du Heng suspected that Wei Kaida had kidney problems. But when he actually felt his pulse, he was quite taken aback.

Wei Kaida, noticing Du Heng’s changing facial expressions, was struck by involuntary palpitations.

Wei Kaida had no doubts about Du Heng’s current medical expertise; after all, they were close friends.

”Buddy, what’s the matter with me? Can you tell me?” Wei Kaida nervously asked.

Du Heng sighed, pulled back his hand from the pulse diagnosis, and looked Wei Kaida up and down with renewed interest. ”TSK TSK, brother, TSK TSK...”

Wei Kaida was really getting anxious. ”Would you just tell me? What the hell is ’TSK TSK’?”

Du Heng shook his head, looking rather solemn. ”Brother, it’s not that I’m boasting, but most men don’t get your condition until they’re at least sixty. I’m surprised that you, as young as you are, have already reached this stage. You really live up to your reputation as a playa.”

He continued, unable to resist another TSK TSK. ”You’ve probably heard this saying: ’Youth knows not the value of the essence; only in old age does one look upon... erm... and weep in vain.’ Well, you don’t need to wait for old age. From now on, you’ll have cause to shed tears.”

He rambled on, turning Wei Kaida’s face green, without revealing what exactly was wrong. Wei Kaida was so frustrated that he was fuming.

Du Heng continued, wagging his head, ”In our kidneys, there is water and fire—Yin and Yang—both inseparable. You do know that, right?”

Eager to get answers, Wei Kaida hurriedly responded, ”Of course, I know that. Are you suggesting that I have a kidney yin deficiency?”

Du Heng shook his head again. ”No, that’s not it. It’s two different things.”

He then gestured for Wei Kaida to calm down and slowly explained, ”When a man reaches over sixty, both the water and fire—the Yin and Yang—in the kidneys decline. The best solution is to refrain from sexual activities to prolong life and not give in to a lustful heart for the sake of physical pleasure. If one indulges a fickle heart and errs, alas, most will develop symptoms like yours.”

Wei Kaida looked lost and stammered, ”But I’m only thirty years old! How could I possibly have this problem? Buddy, this isn’t something to joke about.”

”What’s wrong with being young? Don’t you have these symptoms right now?” Du Heng teased Wei Kaida. ”Those who suffer from this disease in their prime are usually those who indulge in sex and deplete their kidney essence without restraint. This causes the fire to follow the water, and when the water is gone, the fire goes too. The end result is no different from the yang deficiency seen in the elderly, rendering one unable to perform.”

Wei Kaida couldn’t help swallowing hard, his eyes fixated on Du Heng. ”Bro, are you suggesting that I can’t... you know... in the future?”

”Still thinking about that?” Du Heng chuckled. ”You’re overthinking. If you can survive and keep breathing by practicing restraint from now on, that would be quite an achievement.”

After hearing these words, Wei Kaida was like a snake with its tendons pulled, all energy drained from him. He slumped down, his eyes lifeless, muttering, ”It’s over. It’s totally over.”

Du Heng didn’t say anything, just sat there cross-legged, observing his friend.

He needed to teach his buddy a hard lesson. If Wei Kaida continued his reckless ways, he might just find himself dispatched to the afterlife in a moment of ecstasy.

Suddenly, Wei Kaida’s spirit flared. He looked at Du Heng squarely. ”Du, are you deliberately trying to scare me? I’m warning you, if you scare me into developing psychological issues, I won’t let you off easily!”

”Please trust my integrity and my professional ability. Do you think I’m that kind of person? I have professional ethics, you know.”

Wei Kaida still looked skeptical. ”But that’s not right. According to you, I have a kidney problem, and both water and fire—Yin and Yang—are declining. What does that have to do with my current painful urination?”

Du Heng looked at Wei Kaida and shook his head. ”I thought you’d made some progress, but it seems you’re still as ignorant as ever.”

Wei Kaida was confused. ”What do you mean?”

”You’re so ignorant! All those medical books you read were utterly useless.”

”Du, don’t push it.” Wei Kaida, seeing Du Heng wasn’t joking, felt genuine fear creep into his heart. ”You better explain everything clearly today, or don’t blame your brother for getting rough.”

He pointed at the closed door and said menacingly, ”See that? The door is locked. You can’t escape.”

Du Heng gave Wei Kaida a disdainful look. ”Sit down and listen closely.”

After speaking, he habitually tapped the table a few times. ”When both kidney water and fire—Yin and Yang—are deficient, the kidney palace is naturally low on kidney essence. But if one, with a persistent lustful heart, still fights hard in that arena, it can lead to either ’turning traitor midway,’ i.e., premature ejaculation, or ’sniveling at the gate,’ i.e., spermatorrhea. With each such ejaculation, the kidney essence will be completely depleted.”