My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2043: Chapter 1836: Setting Sail

Perhaps without realizing it, I had set sail for love, not knowing how difficult it truly was, until I embraced the sunshine and understood how important it all was.

Whatever they said turned all the attention entirely onto Zhang Nai.

”Nai’er, there are some things I need to warn you about now. Never think about pursuing a relationship while you are studying and growing, as it can only bring pain. Don’t assume that being in love is always a happy thing; some relationships are exhausting. You might give everything you have for a woman, and deep down, the person he truly loves may not be you. Even if one day he falsely tells you, ’The person I love is you,’ who knows what he might do behind your back? Just like many girls who sincerely love a boy, willing to endure anything for him, but in the end, what do they get? The boy has an affair. Do you think such a life is what a normal person should live? No one wishes to live under such gloom their entire life. This kind of life is suffocating and unbearable!”

”Why are you suddenly telling me all this? You can’t possibly think I’m in a relationship, can you? You’ve got it all wrong. Everything I do is simply to ensure I can grow up happy and joyful. I can say without any guilt that I remain innocent, and you shouldn’t entertain wild thoughts. I won’t bury myself in the grave at such a young age. I know how terrifying love can be, especially when it comes to relationships.”

Zhang Yichen couldn’t understand why his son would say such a thing. Could it be that his son had already encountered Lei Wu but never told them? However, he was reluctant to believe his son could make such an earth-shattering move at such a young age. He trusted that his son wasn’t like that, yet everyone curiously looked at him, waiting for every word he would say next.

”You really don’t need to worry about me getting into relationships during my development and learning. I’ve seen the situations you’re talking about. I’ve seen a boy love a girl so deeply, only for that girl to hurt him. When she realized her mistake, the boy chose to keep a mistress outside. You know these situations happen too often. When I see such a scene, I can’t discern right from wrong. I fear that the woman I love deeply will be perfunctory with me, just pretending. That’s truly frightening. I don’t have the endurance or the skill to weather such storms.

All I ever wanted in this life is to live simply and steadily. Living is really tough, but it’s enough for me to live happily, freely, and unrestrained. If I spend all my life following someone else’s footsteps, would it still be me at the end of my life? Would I still be my truest self? I just want to be true to myself, showing who I really am to everyone, not using my disguise to deceive people with my age, their sympathy, or their constant tolerance of me. I also can’t exploit others’ kindness just to hurt them. Acts like that aren’t what I’m supposed to do. All I can do is hope to live happily and steadily, and I just hope everyone can be happy too, seeing my grandparents and my parents like this makes me even more afraid of marriage.

Grandparents, you three should understand, some things have no reason that can explain them. I never felt that way before, but now I know what it’s like. Behind constant disappointment is always the hope we once held, hope that’s always given by others, but I saw my loved ones standing in someone else’s arms time and time again. I understand that feeling. Has anyone truly thought about what they really wanted most in life? Is it really just to live a happy and fulfilling life? But that’s not it.

Nowadays, many people stay together just to appease others or to spite the person they truly like who hasn’t confessed to them. I don’t want to interfere in others’ relationships, much less be pointed at as a mistress. Who truly knows that every time I see third parties intruding into others’ relationships, I feel a deep hatred. I don’t understand why those women choose to do so. Is climbing into another man’s bed truly that pleasurable? Invading others’ lives and disrupting their happiness— is that really what she wants?

At one point, I thought that person would only want to be a mistress, seeing it as a fresh term. Maybe he was just fit to be one in his life, not knowing how many beds he climbed into or how many people he fooled around with. No one knows whether he’s truly clean or filthy, and such a person is the most filthy because no one understands their past.

You might not believe this, but when everything is pressed onto one person’s shoulders, and difficulties arise repeatedly with no means of resolution, their mood is actually vexed. But facing their family, they can only maintain a calm demeanor. They can’t let their family bear the training and suffering they deserved.

I’ve seen many prosperous families living happily together, only to be torn apart and shattered by a third party, leaving family members like ghosts. Happiness turns into an emotional void, becoming merely a mess and a broken nest. You know, that feeling is deeply disheartening, and it’s frightening. I’m afraid of facing such a scene one day. I can’t predict whether I’ll make it through life easily or if I’ll live simply and unrestrained, but at the very least, I’ve sought my own truth. At least, I’ve conducted myself in a way that aligns with my desires, and even if the result isn’t what I expected, I have no regrets. Giving effort is the best action, and action is the best proof. If I can’t prove that I have the courage to desire, it’s as if I lived in vain. I will never believe the insincere words those women say. Today they might be with you, but tomorrow they could be climbing into someone else’s bed behind your back. I hope such things never happen to me. I just wish to live my life steadily, and that is enough...”

Can you let me stay by your side and let me embrace this warm sunshine?