My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2022: Chapter 1815: Satisfying

No one is born perfect, nor should anyone be together simply because they are suitable for each other.

”Even such a small request, you can’t agree to it. Do you dare to say your heart still loves me like it did before? I know I really hurt you in the past, but you should understand every decision I made back then was out of necessity. Is it really that unforgivable in your heart? Is forgiving me once really that hard for you? What do I have to do for you to come back to me?” Zhang Zheng was practically seething. Uttering these words felt like a roar. He couldn’t endure such a result; he just wanted his wife to return to him. Why did it seem so difficult in his eyes? Why does such a small request make his wife feel so difficult to accept?

”I really don’t know what to say to you. The one who heartlessly decided to leave me was you, the one who abandoned me cruelly was also you. Now you come to me saying these things, do you think it has any meaning? Do you not feel ashamed saying it? The one who’s repeatedly made mistakes isn’t me, the one who made me a scapegoat isn’t me, it’s you. You repeatedly threw me to the edge of the cliff; you repeatedly made me pay every price for you. But in the end, what did I get from you, abandonment and harm, or have you given me greater benefits?

Every decision you’ve made, is your heart not clear? What gives you the right to make me pay for your mistakes over and over? I’m not your slave. I just want a simple, happy life, which in your eyes isn’t easy at all. I really don’t ask for much, but why can’t you meet my small demands, and now what gives you the right to demand them from me?

Everyone lives by giving as they received, no? The results you’ve given me are the returns you get. It’s always been like this. You hurt me repeatedly; how am I supposed to forgive you over and over again? In your eyes, am I supposed to be your scapegoat time and time again, to be manipulated by you over and over? I don’t want to talk about past hurts anymore. Our pasts should have been long forgotten. Why must we make each other’s hearts live in such pain and hardship? All I want is to live a peaceful life. If you can’t give me this life now, please let go, okay? Stop pestering me endlessly. Your incessant entanglement makes me feel exhausted...” Xia Jing is truly on the brink. He doesn’t know how he should talk to his ex-husband, for him to understand the torment in his heart. He always comes to entangle him time after time, never letting him completely leave. Is this the outcome he wants? Is this what he wants, seeing both in unbearable pain? He truly doesn’t understand what he should do for this farce to end sooner rather than dragging on infinitely.

”Listen to me well, no matter what I will never give up on you and let you leave me. Either you agree to my request to come back to me, and I promise not to touch you, guaranteeing you can live freely the life you want; I only need us to remain nominally husband and wife. But if you stubbornly insist on severing all ties, I don’t mind falling out with you. Falling out or not makes little difference to me. What I want is truly very little, like you said yourself, you just want a stable, peaceful life, and I only want to live a happy life with you. Is such a life really so hard in our eyes? Is such a life really so hard to accept and realize between us? Isn’t it better to leave each other a way out? Why force each other to desperation? You think leaving me, you’ll live happily and peacefully, but without you, I’ll only live in unbearable pain. Your heart still holds me; can you really bear seeing the husband you once loved most living in unbearable pain, crazy every day?”

One must admit Zhang Zhentian’s words really hit Xia Jing’s heart; how could she bear her husband living madly and painfully? She is the man he once loved most; for her, he can abandon everything. This time, what’s the difficulty? It’s just he truly struggles with which road to choose so that he won’t regret in the future.

”I really don’t know how to talk to you anymore. I’ve made it clear and plain. If you insist on making me suffer with you, there’s nothing I can do. But I truly have no reason to agree to your request. Once you hurt me so deeply, how can I possibly agree to your demand? Your demands, in my eyes, just make you seem like a petty person.

Actually, I’m not as perfect and great as you imagine. Perhaps the perfection you see in me now is just an illusion I’ve crafted. One day when you discover the ugliness within me, you will surely cast me aside again, so please don’t hurt me anymore. I won’t give you the chance to hurt me a second time. If you harm me again, you might feel joy, but I’ll be in unbearable pain. Would you really bear seeing the wife who shared your bed for so many years in unbearable pain by your side, all because of you?

One must admit your heart is truly kind, but your kindness shouldn’t be used as a capital to threaten others, should it? I love you; it was once my love for you. This love faded into nothing the moment you abandoned me, no longer exists. Why do you continue like this? It only makes you seem like someone who can’t let go!

Love should be like this: when you hold someone close in your heart, you ought to cherish them, never doubting them. And when you are prepared to abandon them, you shouldn’t cling and try to get them back relentlessly since that only makes you look useful, portraying a person who can never forget them. Your demands I will never agree to; I hope you never ask such unreasonable requests again, or perhaps we won’t even be able to remain friends. I believe that’s not the outcome either of us wants to see. We should still be good friends, right?”

Maybe I once thought we weren’t suitable, but now I realize suitability is the most important. Being with you brings smiles to my face and eyes.