Moving On from the Tsundere, I Choose the Perfect Sweetheart

Chapter 122: Chapter 122: Divorced with Two Kids, a 20-Year Shortcut

”PFFT—”

Gu Yifan failed to swallow the sip of water he’d just taken and sprayed it directly onto Wang Zibo’s face. He stared at Wang Zibo, his eyes wide with shock.

”...”

Wang Zibo, completely dazed by the sudden spray, stared back at him with equally wide eyes.

The two of them stared at each other, and for a moment, the atmosphere in the car grew bizarrely awkward.

”Er...”

”Sorry, sorry! I couldn’t help it!”

Gu Yifan was the first to snap out of it. He hurriedly grabbed a nearby tissue and helped Wang Zibo wipe his face dry.

「One minute later...」

Wang Zibo’s expression grew even more sullen. He looked at Gu Yifan, his chubby face contorted in misery, and complained, ”I’m telling you, Brother Fan, my situation is tragic enough, and you still had to spray a mouthful of spit in my face...”

”That was water, okay!”

Gu Yifan shot him a look and said irritably.

”It still had your spit in it!”

Wang Zibo was speechless. ”I don’t care, Brother Fan. You have to make it up to me!”

Gu Yifan just glanced at him, ignoring his demand. Instead, he asked, ”Wait a minute. Did you just say that ’dear sister’ of yours has two kids?”

Hearing this, Wang Zibo’s expression froze once more.

”Huuuh...”

He took a deep breath before finally speaking. ”Yes. Wan... She has two kids! One is three and a half and just learned how to talk, the other is one and a half...”

At this point, he whipped his head around to face Gu Yifan. ”Brother Fan, do you have any idea? She even started breastfeeding her kid right in front of me!!!”

”...”

The corner of Gu Yifan’s mouth twitched. He could already picture the scene!

’What a lovely mental image,’ he thought. ’I can’t bear to think about it any further!’

”So, you just ran away?”

Gu Yifan struggled to keep from laughing out loud. He clenched his jaw, trying his best to keep his tone calm.

”What else was I supposed to do?!”

”Stay there and watch her breastfeed?!”

Wang Zibo said, completely exasperated.

”Er...”

”Well, that’s not entirely out of the question!”

”Divorced with two kids... It’s a buy-one-get-two-free deal! You’d be skipping twenty years of life’s detours!”

Gu Yifan said nonchalantly, doing his best to suppress a laugh.

Wang Zibo: ”...”

He shot Gu Yifan a look and said sullenly, ”Brother Fan, I know you’re dying to laugh at me. Go ahead, just laugh!”

”Pfft—”

At Wang Zibo’s words, Gu Yifan couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.

”My apologies. I’m a professional. I don’t laugh no matter how funny things get. Unless I really can’t help it!”

”Hahaha...”

Gu Yifan couldn’t help but shoot Wang Zibo a pitying look before roaring with laughter.

Wang Zibo’s face darkened. He didn’t want to talk anymore. Turning his head to stare out the window, he fell silent.

’Damn it!’

’After this whole ordeal,’ Wang Zibo thought, ’I’m never going to believe in love again for the rest of my life!’

’Damn it, to hell with romance! Not even a dog would want to be in a relationship!’

’I’m just going to let it all go to hell!’

’Waaah...’

...

「3:30 PM.」

After dropping Wang Zibo off at home, Gu Yifan picked up Su Qinghe and headed out again.

Because he had promised to take Su Qinghe—that Hanhan—to see a movie.

Along the way, Su Qinghe noticed the corners of Gu Yifan’s mouth occasionally turning up in a slight smile, as if he’d thought of something amusing.

She didn’t pay it much mind, though.

...

「4:30 PM.」

Inside the movie theater, Su Qinghe first watched the film on the big screen intently, then turned her head to look at Gu Yifan.

’This clearly isn’t a comedy, so why does Gu Yifan keep laughing?’

She was completely baffled, her mind filled with question marks.

”Hm?”

Just then, Gu Yifan noticed Su Qinghe staring at him.

He paused for a second, then said, ”Why are you looking at me? Watch the movie!”

Su Qinghe’s mouth opened slightly, but she didn’t say anything in the end. She turned her head and silently went back to watching the movie.

Seeing her acting strangely, Gu Yifan couldn’t help but furrow his brow.

”Ah~”

Just then, Gu Yifan heard a suppressed cry from somewhere not far behind him.

’Why does that sound a little familiar?’

’Hmm... A bit like the audio from the study materials on my D drive?’ Gu Yifan thought to himself.

He subconsciously glanced back, but since the theater was quite dark, he couldn’t see anything clearly.

There weren’t many people at this showing; the theater was sparsely filled, with plenty of empty seats.

”Ngh~”

Just as he was about to look away, another muffled sound reached his ears.

The sound was clearly being made through clenched teeth, giving it a strained quality.

With his 365 gigabytes of ”study materials,” Gu Yifan was now absolutely positive: those were the exact same sounds the ”teachers” in his files made!

In an instant, he understood what was happening.

’Tsk, tsk.’

’I’d only ever seen this kind of thing in my study materials before. I can’t believe someone would actually dare to pull this off in real life!’

’And from the sounds of it, they aren’t even trying to be discreet!’

’They’re really not treating us like strangers, huh!’

’Heh.’

’Art truly does imitate life!’

’Mr. Chernyshevsky truly did not lie!’

’But still!’

’This is 2013, for crying out loud!’

’Movie theaters in this day and age are all equipped with security cameras!’

’Their courage to sacrifice themselves for the sake of art in broad daylight is truly commendable!’

Gu Yifan couldn’t help but give the couple a mental thumbs-up. ’Badass!’ he thought.

Just then, the sounds from behind grew more intense and increasingly loud.

For a moment, Gu Yifan didn’t know what to say.

Meanwhile, Su Qinghe, who had been engrossed in the movie, now heard the sounds as well.

Still oblivious to the situation, she turned to Gu Yifan and whispered, ”Gu Yifan, I... I think I hear some strange sounds?”

”Hm?”

Gu Yifan had been lost in thought. He snapped back to his senses at Su Qinghe’s words and turned to see her little brow furrowed with nervousness and fear. Clearly, her mind hadn’t gone *there*. Instead, she seemed to think it was some kind of paranormal event!

”Oh... it’s nothing! It’s probably just a mouse in the theater, stealing a corn cob to eat!”

Gu Yifan gently patted the back of her hand and said casually, ”Don’t worry about it. Just keep watching your movie! It’s about to reach the most exciting climax. If you miss this part, you won’t understand the rest!”

”A mouse?”

”A corn cob?”

Su Qinghe furrowed her brow, her face a mask of confusion.

”It’s fine. The mouse will run off in a bit. Don’t worry about it, just focus on the movie!”

Seeing her looking like a curious kitten, Gu Yifan quickly tried to change the subject.

With that, he gently turned Su Qinghe’s head straight, guiding her gaze back to the big screen.

”Oh, okay...”

Although Su Qinghe was still a little confused and scared, she obediently turned back to the movie since Gu Yifan had told her to.

With Gu Yifan by her side, she didn’t feel so scared anymore.

Before long, she was once again captivated by the exciting film!

...