My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1785: Chapter 1579: Forgetting

The past self had always been restraining the so-called memories. I also knew that I shouldn’t keep struggling, that I should stop everything at an appropriate time, because everything had already been swallowed by time, leaving only a faintly painful echo. I knew that was purely a kind of kindness, and loving it was something that wouldn’t lie.

While the two people were talking, Zhang Zhentian, without anyone knowing when, was standing outside the hospital room eavesdropping. She heard her wife utter such heartless words, and in a fit of anger, he pushed the door and barged into the room. When Old Master Zhang saw his son barging into the hospital room so recklessly, he thought when will his son ever grow up? Why does he always behave like a child who doesn’t understand reason, entering other people’s rooms so casually? Doesn’t she know that this would make others feel they are very impolite?

Xia Jing was stunned when she saw Zhang Zhentian push the door open and enter. She hadn’t expected anyone to be standing outside the door. If she had known, she definitely wouldn’t have spoken so bluntly; this could only make the relationship between the two worsen, even reaching an irreparable stage. But since things were like this, what could she do? Was it indeed her fault? Even if she admitted her mistake, would he believe her? She simply couldn’t believe this was real.

”When did you start standing outside the door? Don’t you know that eavesdropping on others is very impolite? Don’t you know that by doing this, it only makes me feel like you don’t take me seriously at all? If you care about me, can’t you just ask me directly in front of me? Why do you have to eavesdrop outside the door? Don’t you know that doing so really makes me look down on you!”

”If I ask you directly, would you honestly tell me everything? You don’t need to think of ways to deceive me. If not, how could I know what you truly think inside? If I don’t listen outside the door, how could I know your real thoughts inside?

Your heart obviously hates me, but you act like nothing’s wrong in front of me. Yet in front of my father, you reveal all your thoughts completely. Am I really not worth your trust? Is it so hard to tell me one honest thing in person? What harm would it do to tell me the truth in front of me? Would that really cost you so much?”

”Since it’s like this, you’ve heard so much. Now, in front of Dad, I will clear things up with you. You should know what you’re doing. Perhaps it means nothing to you, but it’s hurtful to me. You never really considered what I wanted. You just assumed what you could give me was what I wanted. But do you understand? These years, I really don’t know how I managed to get through. I also regarded you as very important, but in the end, you treated me like this. How do you expect me to continue living a lifetime with you? I am not a Saint; I also need a relationship. I need a relationship where someone treats me sincerely without any agenda. Can you do that?

Honestly, ask yourself. Even you can’t manage that kind of relationship. What right do you have to demand I continue being by your side? I have always been bending over backward, thinking if I simply stayed with you, then one day you would see my love for you. But in the end, is that really the case? Did you really see my love for you? Time and again, you hurt me. Is this the love you have for me?

All hearts are made of flesh, and now things have turned out this way, words can’t restore them to how they were. I used to think as long as I was with you, I could do without anything, seek nothing. But in the end, I found I couldn’t. You can see me as that kind of vain woman. Because of your past medication, you believe I stayed solely for money. There’s no trust in your heart. Without trust, why should we force ourselves to be together?

Do you know that staying with you, I’m constantly reflecting on whether I was right? I don’t know whether choosing to be with you was right or wrong; I’ve always been in distress over this. You’ve never felt this pain, so how could you possibly know how miserable I feel inside? If you really love me, if you still have any guilt or love for me, then please, let go...”

Zhang Zhentian never expected, Xia Jing seemed to always be considering giving up on him. But then why did he still stubbornly want to stay together? After investing so much in the relationship, were these words really the outcome? No one envisioned this result being so heart-wrenching. I used to think that as long as I could be with the one I loved, I’d be willing to give up everything. But now I see, everything was just fanciful thinking, all originally possessed were mirages.

”If you think I’ve done something wrong, then please tell me clearly. Why do you always treat me with this kind of mindset? Do you know that treating me like this only breaks my heart?

If you truly don’t want to be with me, then please tell me honestly. Don’t give me hope again and again, only to let me down. That kind of pain is something you refuse to experience yourself. Why must you force me into it? Does this truly do right by me? Does it do justice by our many years of married life? I love you so much, viewing you as my lifelong partner. Is that partner always considering leaving? Fly far away, why would you? You, so ruthless, so cruel-hearted, how could you hurt me like this? To think our over a decade of marriage is so worthless in your eyes, you buried my love for you completely, making me feel like you’re just a bad woman. I’ve been so insistent on staying with you, yet you hurt me with these thoughts. Do you think with your stance, why should I continue holding on to you? Rest assured, I won’t persist any longer!”

”I told you long ago, don’t hold on because of a woman like me; it was you who foolishly insisted, wasn’t it? If that’s how much you hate me, then we should never cross paths again, as if we never knew each other, becoming strangers from now on! Ah, I never saw you from the beginning. I never thought of continuing life with you from the start; you clung on, not letting me leave. Is that my fault? Today I make it clear, I sever all ties with you, and there will be no more contact...”

Looking at all the controversies of the past, letting go of my obsessions, turning them into walls, yet I am still reminiscing. I know this is just a form of hurt deeply within. But how could I have predicted this would bring tears to my eyes, and simultaneously strengthen my heart...