My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1760: Chapter 1554: Each Other

In the past, we inflicted irreparable pain on each other, doubting me, and I also doubted you. That marriage without trust suffocated me.

”Is it that I treat you poorly, or am I not as good as her? Is it because I’m not good-looking, or have I wronged you in some way? Why do you do such ruthless and loveless things to me?

In your heart, did you never consider me as your husband? Is the safety of our family so insignificant in your eyes? Where do you place your family, having initially chosen to start a family with me, you must be responsible for it. Now you’re doing this, treating everyone in this family as mere pawns to abandon when you please?”

Zhang Zhentian grew more furious the more he thought about it; he never imagined his wife would change into this person.

He couldn’t understand how the once lively and cheerful woman had turned into the person she was then. Why did everything he said seem like nothing in her eyes, regardless of what he did?

Maybe all along he was clueless. When a person stops loving another, no matter how charming that person may be, it has no effect—appearing as if there’s always a place in the heart for them, but ultimately it’s nothing.

”Don’t say like that, during our time together I was truly happy, very happy. You once gave me everything I wanted, and you were willing to sacrifice everything, but you really never considered what kind of life I truly desired, what kind of ending we would have? Time after time, autocratic results obstructed my life!

Have you ever considered the kind of life I desire? Every day I live in unbearable pain; who has ever given me the happiness I wanted? Over and over, I was tormented by illness and suffering; I too wished for the life I wanted, but what did any of you ultimately give me?

I once asked if he could laugh and cry with me, but ultimately nothing came of it. Every time I embraced him from behind, the agony within me cursed—I really wanted to hold him forever and never let go. I yearned for time to freeze at that moment, but would heaven sincerely care about me that much? Certainly not!

When I hugged her, I prayed repeatedly in my heart, pleading with the heavens to slow time down or to let it eternally halt at that moment. No more moving forward. But when I looked up, time was still ticking, and he turned away, leaving me alone in silent wait. How could anyone fathom my loneliness and despair?

You might think a person shouldn’t be so selfish, but do you know my desires are simple: just being able to stay by his side is all I need, sacrificing everything else means nothing to me.

Through these years I’ve always considered others, yet ended without any fulfilling result. To me, that’s a failed outcome. No matter how much I cared for others, what am I in their eyes?

Despite physical and emotional pain, I chose to be with him; all I wanted was to see his smile even once beside me. Even if my heart was bleeding, as long as he smiled, I’d still be happy.

Perhaps you think I’m foolish, naive for acting like this, but do you understand true love? Now I don’t need him to invest any emotion in me, nor need him to care about me; as long as I give him my feelings and heart, it’s enough regardless of whether I end up heartbroken or find lifelong happiness. I just want no regrets. It’s enough, I’ve lost him repeatedly and truly don’t want to lose him again. If I lose her again, I don’t know how much longer I can even live...”

Zhang Zhentian could not comprehend how deeply his wife loved that man, to the point of sacrificing her life, making him feel like nothing more than an emotional crutch in her eyes. Was it all just emotional transfer?

”Never did I imagine your love for him could be so profound, willing to sacrifice everything even your life — why couldn’t you do it for me just once? Before, when we were together, you’d pretend to love me passionately, deceiving me into believing I had entered a realm of happiness. But eventually, I discovered it was merely the beginning of a painful hell!

Even if throughout life you don’t wish to be with me, even if I don’t exist in your heart, could you consider my feelings? I wish to live healthily and joyfully in this lifetime, even if just a bit. Did I ever have happiness all these years? No, i wandered far and wide for you, abandoned my entire family- endured painful longing for you.

Clearly aware my father awaited his son to come home, he was eagerly expecting my return.

Even knowing all this, for your happiness I feigned ignorance. You have no idea how much despair I felt, how hard my father’s life was. You’ve never pondered what kind of life we wanted; your decisions were fueled by personal greed.

Isn’t the truly selfish person you? Aren’t you aware of your actions?

Don’t hope for others to forgive you given what you’ve done nothing about it. You’ve made forgiveness impossible, destined to dwell in eternal misery, confined within your world; never again seeking escape. Your life shall continue consumed by torment repeatedly, your pains and regrets, ultimately reaping what you’ve sown!”

I simply wished to live an ordinary, peaceful life, nothing envisaged would come to this end.