My Alleged Husband

Chapter 793: Chapter 761 Signs of Sobriety_2

I wonder if living like this is really exhausting? Knowing deep down what you truly want, yet finding yourself helpless to achieve it, because what you desire always seems out of reach.”

Xia Jing was shocked. How could she not understand what Xiao Wei meant? Even though Xiao Wei had now spoken to this extent, it proved that this was truly what his son felt deep inside.

But she really didn’t know how to explain these things to her son. Some matters simply couldn’t be resolved with just a few words. Everyone’s experiences were different; no one could have predicted that they would make such a decision in a moment of folly—a decision to abandon their own child. Only years later did they realize the enormity of the mistake they had made. Yet, who could truly stand in her shoes and understand her life’s pain? No one knew the suffering she had endured throughout her life.

”My child, I know you have always wanted your parents to give you a reasonable explanation for what happened. But some things, I truly don’t know where to begin. The decision to abandon you wasn’t premeditated; it was a spur-of-the-moment act from us, and it was only years later that we realized how foolish our decision was. By then, it was too late, and there was no way for us to turn back.

You might think that as parents, we don’t feel a trace of guilt, but do you know how much pain we have in our hearts? How could we not wish for our child to be happy and healthy? But the things we did, we are well aware of them!”

”We truly feel guilty for hurting you. We don’t know how to justify our presence by your side, with what attitude, identity, or face.”

”Mom, I want to ask if time could turn back to the start, would you and dad treat me that way again? Would you still choose to abandon me so heartlessly?”

That was what Zhang Yichen cared about most deeply. He always felt that his parents’ abandonment wasn’t so simple. But he just wanted to know, if given another chance, his parents wouldn’t abandon him again. Then he would feel that all the suffering he had endured over the years was worthwhile, because he had finally received an opportunity for a sincere exchange with his parents. He knew that, in the end, they still loved him.

”I have to admit, if time could really let me choose again, I definitely would not choose to abandon you. I have never regretted anything I did in my life except for this one thing. It is a torture deep within my heart. I always think, if I were given another chance, even if time could be rolled back just a little, it would make me much happier and more fulfilled inside!

I have often reflected on whether I was wrong in making such a decision, but the end result, time and time again, told me I was. Because every outcome of my actions was incorrect.

When I lost my son, only then did I realize what I had lost. Even though your father was by my side comforting me, I could never forget you. I always thought about sneaking home just to catch a glimpse of you, even from a distance, it would be enough for me. It’s a mother’s love for her son, an innate emotion that cannot be severed by any decision, any action.

Maybe you think these words of mine are deceitful, but I really have no intention of deceiving you. My feelings for you are as clear as daylight. I am your mother. From the moment I abandoned you, I was already full of regret. But I am so stubborn that, once I made a decision, I would rather die than go back on it. In my mind, turning back would be an admission of my mistake. How could I, a proud person, ever admit to the world that I was wrong? I could only stubbornly proceed until the end, and then I found that after all, I had to face that decision.”

”Mom, don’t think too much. I didn’t mean that at all.

Now that I can hear you tell me these things yourself, my heart is content. I’m not an insatiable person, and you should know that. Let’s all live happily together from now on. No matter what happened in the past, as long as we can live happily, nothing else matters. Let’s not dwell on whether what happened before was right or wrong, because it may not be good for anyone.

People need to learn to look forward and to digest their bitterness bite by bite. If you only aim for instant success, you will never achieve anything in anything you do.

Believe that justice prevails in this world, and believe that one day our family will live happily together. That day is not far off; I trust that my father will wake up with his will to survive. Despite all the setbacks we’ve faced, I believe his will to survive is strong, because he has been with you for so many years. Your pride has influenced him, and his self-respect is equally important. He cannot let himself lie in bed for the rest of his life, ridiculed by others as a good-for-nothing, becoming a laughingstock in their eyes!”