My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2000: Chapter 1794: Passerby

After experiencing winds and rain, everything we’ve done becomes insignificant. I know our love possesses a sweetness that’s one in ten thousand!

Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing may never understand why they’ve continuously avoided facing the consequences of their mistakes.

Both of them assumed that having lived so many years, they would naturally accept their mistakes. Yet, surprisingly, when the mistakes waved at them, they were both scared.

While everyone feels fear at times, and everyone dreads others finding out about their mistakes, facing them bravely is the true hallmark of courage and responsibility, isn’t it? But why do they avoid responsibilities for what they’ve done wrong? Ultimately, it’s about fearing to completely lose the other. Even though they exist in each other’s hearts, they pretended they didn’t feel each other’s presence anymore. Isn’t this an attempt to distance themselves emotionally and teach themselves not to long for a life not belonging to them?

”Actually, we are both the same. There’s no right or wrong between us. We haven’t let go of our unforgivable mistakes; neither of us can face them correctly. Not just you, even I can’t; how could I ask you to? None of us is a Saint, nobody is mistake-free. But to err is human, and it is valuable to courageously face our mistakes.

I know I’ll never get the chance to do it in this lifetime, but I sincerely hope that if we are ever together, we must not act this way!” Xia Jing said to Zhang Zhentian.

In the eyes of the lowly, they may think speaking such words is insignificant. But in the eyes of her ex-husband, such words seem to offer a glimmer of hope. He believes that if he tries a little harder, maybe his wife will return to him. But will things ever be the same? Can a broken love truly heal? Could a lost marriage ever be as loving as before? No one can promise her that, not even he himself, when he decided, feeling as though he jests himself, deceiving not only himself but others too.

”I don’t know what I need to do for you to choose to come back to me. Perhaps we’ll never get another unforgettable chance. Yet, when I see you crying, my heart aches with you, even more painfully so than yours. I’m afraid of your tears because I can’t bear to witness the woman I love most crying. Being with you, I have never given you a single day of happiness; I couldn’t even give you what you wanted. That’s a wound for you, a lack of basic responsibility for me as a man; it’s cowardice that led us to where we are now. I’m really scared, scared we might drift apart one day; my heart would be in so much pain. I don’t ask for much; I only hope the person I love stays with me a little longer. That isn’t too much, right? But ultimately, my own hands shattered our marriage, pushed away the person I loved most, and turned the loving family I could have had into this fractured state.

To be honest, facing this kind of ending, no man’s heart wouldn’t ache. Who doesn’t want a perfect life, to receive care from their loved one? But I’ve received more love from you than I’ve ever given back. Maybe that’s why the heavens are punishing me, ensuring I won’t obtain you again in this life, for losing the person I loved most, being abandoned by the one who loved me. How do I deserve to ask forgiveness from above? You must face the consequences of your mistakes; no one will endlessly stand behind you to cover them.

Heartfelt connections are reciprocal; a hurt heart can never return to its original state. Even if you give your all, the original form of what you want is unattainable. What’s gone remains in the past. Perhaps it’s because I’ve seen everything indifferently that I now understand the feeling of tearing heartbreak. No one can feel the agony, sensing myself struggling deeply, like reaching into an abyss without light. I’m afraid, afraid my love will leave me, afraid those who love me will too. Afraid of losing everything I once didn’t care about. I thought I could detach from feelings to love, but finally realized my heart was already too full of you; nothing could make me treat you emotionally unattached as before.”

”Hehe...

Do you not feel your words now have become meaningless? However you’ve treated me before is exactly how Heaven repays you now. You once made me sad, cry till it hurt unbearably; now Heaven can’t stand it either, naturally seeking justice for me. Yet, I didn’t expect its way to involve hurting not only you but also our fathers. If I had known this would be the outcome, I’d rather suffer grievances for a lifetime than have Heaven take my side.

Actually, many times you, yourself, understand within what you do, but you don’t know how to repay others or achieve the best outcome for everyone. Have you thought about it? Clearly at the peak of your career and love, yet your partner suddenly asked for divorce, cruelly discarded you into a deep abyss. Is your heart still able to maintain its calm, pursue the life it wants without conflict or burden? Can you lead such an uneventful life without disturbance? Who, really, can do it without emotional ties?

Now that things reached this point, neither of us can face each other anymore; neither have the dignity to face one another. So let us abandon further entanglements. To persist in this torture is the most painful wound for both; it’s only tearing off a scar over and over, sprinkling salt once again!”

We all don’t understand love, hate, or aversion; we only suddenly realize what heartbreak feels like!