My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1889: Chapter 1684: Joy

The moment I saw you, I was so happy.

Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing never knew why they always avoided facing the consequences of their mistakes.

The two of them, thinking they’ve lived for so many years, believed they would naturally accept their mistakes. But when those mistakes beckoned them, they were all afraid.

Even though everyone has moments of fear, and everyone is afraid of others discovering their mistakes, it takes courage to face one’s errors, doesn’t it? But why is it that even when we make mistakes, we’re still afraid to bear the consequences? Ultimately, it’s the fear of losing the other completely. Even though they exist in each other’s hearts, they verbally deny their presence to distance their feelings and convince themselves not to long for a life that doesn’t belong to them.

”Actually, we’re the same, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. We’ve put down unforgivable mistakes, and none of us can truly face our wrongs. It’s not just you; even I can’t face my own errors. Who isn’t flawed? No one is a Saint; everyone makes mistakes, but what is precious is having the courage to bear them.

I know I’ll never have another chance in this lifetime to act differently, but I sincerely hope that if one day we can be together, we shouldn’t repeat this!” Xia Jing said to Zhang Zhentian.

Perhaps in the eyes of a lowly person, saying this isn’t a big deal, but in the eyes of her ex-husband, it offers a glimmer of hope. He believes that if he tries a little harder, perhaps his wife could return to his side. But will the outcome really be like that? Can broken feelings really reconcile? Can a lost marriage ever go back to the loving way it was? No one can give her a definite answer, and when he made this decision, he felt like he was joking with himself, deceiving himself, let alone others.

”I don’t know what I have to do for you to choose to return to my side. Maybe in this lifetime, we won’t have any unforgettable opportunities again, but when I see you cry, my heart aches with you, even more than your own. I fear seeing you cry because I can’t stand to see the woman I love most shed tears. When I was with you, I never gave you a day of happiness, not even what you wanted. To you, this was a hurt; to me, it meant I lacked the basic responsibility, the bravery of a man. It’s this cowardice that made us what we are today. I’m truly afraid—afraid that one day we’ll really lose contact. By then, how painful my heart would be. I don’t ask for much, I just hope the person I love can accompany me a little longer. Is this request too much? But in the end, I personally shattered my marriage, drove away the person I loved most, and turned what could have been a happy family into this broken state.

Honestly, facing such an ending, no man’s heart wouldn’t ache. Who doesn’t want a perfect life? Who doesn’t want a lifetime filled with the care of the person they love the most? But in this life, I’ve received so much love from you, yet I never truly reciprocated. Maybe that’s why heaven punishes me, making sure I’ll never get you back because I lost the person I loved the most, and the one who loved me threw me away. What right do I have to beg for forgiveness from heaven? Mistakes I’ve made must be faced with their consequences. No one will stand behind you to cover for your mistakes forever.

Hearts are mutual. Once broken, they can never return to their original state. Even if you give everything, in the end, you won’t achieve what you originally wanted. The past is the past, and it’s because I now view all this as ordinary that I understand what it’s like to feel heart-piercing pain with no one able to comprehend it. I struggle silently in that kind of pain, like reaching into a deep abyss without light. I am afraid—afraid of the person I love leaving me, afraid the person who loves me also leaves. I’m terrified of losing everything I once didn’t care about. I once thought I could let go of feelings, but now I realize that my heart is already filled by you, and I can’t go back to treating you without any emotion as before.”

”Haha...

Don’t you think saying these words now is meaningless? How you treated me before is now how heaven returns it to you. You once made me heartbroken and in agony, and now even heaven can’t bear it and naturally seeks justice for me. But I never expected its way of seeking justice would be like this—not only have you been hurt, but our parents as well. If I had known this is how justice would be served, I’d rather have been wronged all my life than for heaven to stand up for me.

Many times, deep down, you know the things you’ve done. You may not know what actions to take to repay others, or what you should do for the best outcome for both. But have you ever considered? When you’ve achieved both career and love, but your partner suddenly demands a divorce and ruthlessly abandons you, pushing you into an abyss... Can your heart remain calm? Can you continue living your life as you wish, plain and simple? No one can live unburdened like that!

The result we’re facing now, neither of us can handle it. Don’t say I don’t have the face to meet you, and you don’t have the face to meet me. Since neither can face it, let’s not entangle anymore. Clinging bitterly is the deepest wound for anyone. It’s just opening wounds again and again and sprinkling salt on them!”

The joy of happiness is so joyful, so blissful!