My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1859: Chapter 1653: Squandering

Now I no longer understand whether we love or not, I even more don’t know if you truly understand deep down, that I grasp all my silences.

Zhang Yichen never thought that his father could be foolish enough to be willing to wait here idly for his mother, but perhaps he doesn’t even know that he might never get a clear answer from his wife in this lifetime, maybe he’s just waiting aimlessly, which in the eyes of others might seem laughable.

But in his own eyes, it is the happiest and most beautiful thing. He never thought about what kind of ending he would have in his life, but for him, what he wants is just a stable life like this.

Xia Jing clearly knows that her husband is waiting for her to give him a definite answer, but she is always so unpredictable, yet unwilling to tell him this, she only lets her husband continue to wait foolishly.

No one knows whether she is using her husband or doing something else, anyway, in her eyes, as long as someone waits for her, that is where her personal charm lies. She never considers whether others will be hurt because of such an ending. In her eyes, it’s all about herself, she can live selfishly, making everyone feel that everyone in this world is wrong, only she is right.

”Dad, haven’t you thought about it? Perhaps all your waiting will result in nothing but a deception from her. She won’t really give you her heart, she won’t fall in love with you, so what’s the point of you continuing to wait like this?

Why do you insist on getting yourself all battered and exhausted, does it satisfy your heart? Do you insist on seeing your heart break into pieces and keep getting hurt over and over again, until it is full of scars, will it satisfy your heart?

I have never seen anyone as foolish as you, knowing clearly that you’re not the one in your wife’s heart, yet why do you still sacrifice so much for her? Step by step, you give everything for her, but to him, what do you mean to her?

My dear father! Can’t you stop being so foolish? Watching you makes me, as your child, feel uncomfortable. You’ve given enough, but in the end, what have you gained? Why do you keep torturing yourself step by step?”

Zhang Zhentian himself doesn’t know exactly why he tortures himself this way. What she wants is just a stable life, but he ultimately can’t get his wife’s true heart, so what meaning does his existence have in this world?

If from the beginning he knew that he had no place in her heart, maybe after a while, he would gradually let her go. But why does he find himself increasingly unable to let go of her, knowing step by step he has deeply fallen in love with her, becoming unable to extricate himself, with no way to leave her.

Isn’t all this the predestined ending, destiny has already decided that I would fall in love with her like this, destiny has decided that I would be in such agony because of this? Since that’s the case, why should I pretend I never knew about these things?

”Son, you don’t understand. Just like the tacit understanding between you and your wife, we as the elder generation have no way to comprehend it, that is a kind of tacit understanding only two truly loving people would have. Your mother and I also have this tacit understanding, I don’t believe that in the depths of his heart, I have no place. Everything he does, no matter how it impacts me, I always hope to stay by his side because I believe that one day I can move him, I can make him deeply fall in love with me, and never leave me for a lifetime. Am I very naive? Perhaps in your eyes, I really am...”

Xia Jing in the room heard her son talking to her husband, she could hardly suppress her impatience anymore, what does it mean she did such things over and over again, did she do this before? She really couldn’t understand why her son had such a big prejudice against her, she now had to step out and clarify, she wanted everyone to know she wasn’t like that.

”Enough, haven’t you two said enough? What am I in your eyes? Am I really such a cold-hearted person? Is everything I did really a mistake? Why don’t you both care to understand my feelings and pain?

Yichen, you are indeed my son, but do the things I do really have anything to do with you? I just want to harmonize with your father, otherwise, being together with him wouldn’t bring any happiness to either of us. Why don’t you understand the depths of our hearts?

And you, Zhang Zhentian, you didn’t even listen to what I had to say before fleeing in panic. You could just leave, but are you really so afraid that I would reject you? Do you think being with me would bring you joy and happiness?

Hearing you say such words, I really wanted to agree, I wanted to travel around the world with you, see the places we’ve never been before, and experience the boundless beauty of nature together. But you? You fled in panic, causing our son to misunderstand like this. Do you think seeing me and our child misunderstood makes you happy?

Previously, you wanted us not to have so many of these issues, so why do you think doing this now is good for me? Don’t you know? Just because you fled caused such a big misunderstanding for our son about me, I can’t possibly forgive you!”

Zhang Zhentian did not realize that his wife never intended to reject him, she just wanted to live a happy and blissful life together with him. But why did he quietly escape at that time? Why did he not have the courage to face even a little difficulty? It’s because of this that he ended up like this, is this really what he wanted?

”Xia Jing, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I shouldn’t have been so cowardly. If I could face it bravely, whether you refuse or accept me, I should have stood there, I shouldn’t have fled. It’s my cowardice that led to this outcome, it’s my fault that caused our son to misunderstand, I’m really sorry, can you forgive me?”

Sometimes deep inside, there are countless things I can’t let go of, but you know I will always love you, no matter what, I think it’s worth it, it’s just that I can no longer love you.

Parting doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore, and you will always be the best in my heart.