My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1867: Chapter 1661: Redemption

When I chose to like you, it wasn’t to please myself, I just wanted you to stay peacefully by my side.

Zhang Zhentian knew that Xia Jing’s willingness to make such a concession today for him was already something difficult. If he kept asking for more, he would only become someone greedy and insatiable. How could he let the woman he loved suffer repeatedly because of his demands?

For her, what she wants is slowly coming true. Perhaps Heaven really won’t let her down. She just wants her family to stay by her side, and perhaps it will come true soon. As long as she remains true to her heart, it will certainly be realized one day.

Looking at Zhang Zhentian’s initial appearance, Xia Jing knew her husband was once again deeply in love. This time, perhaps her husband would become trapped in it and unable to extricate himself, but this was really not something she wanted to see.

She never thought she’d let things turn out the way they did today, but everything had already become a reality, already a foregone conclusion. What ability did she have to change it?

Who wouldn’t use others for their own selfish desires? Who wouldn’t sacrifice everything and hurt those who care the most for something they once wanted?

Everyone climbs step by step, each person stands on someone else’s shoulders trying desperately to climb higher. But who knows that it’s because they’re struggling to climb that things turn out like this, leaving no room to maneuver, making everyone realize how many mistakes they’ve made in their lifetime?

”Xia Jing, thank you. Your decision today is such a delightful surprise to me. I never thought you could be moved by me one day. I waited day after day for this day to come, and I didn’t expect it to really come!

Maybe you don’t understand how much I look forward to what you would become. All I want is you. Even if the whole world is given to me, it doesn’t matter. I just want you, just want you by my side, just want you to know that in this lifetime I genuinely want to be with you!

Perhaps every word I say to you seems like a lie in your eyes, but do you know every word I say to you is genuine? I’ve never thought of deceiving you, even if you use unscrupulous means to deceive me for some things. Even if I know the whole truth, I’m still willing to believe you wholeheartedly because no one can understand my love for you.

My wholeheartedness for you has been betrayed repeatedly, my feelings for you are always suspected as deceit by you.

You’ve never considered my feelings, just how desperate I was at that moment, you can’t understand.

But now I’ve become like this, for you I’ve become numb, and for you, I’m even willing to harm my family time and again.

I don’t know what I can’t do anymore, so I sincerely hope you won’t force me again and again. I just want to live peacefully, please don’t let me suffer anymore, don’t let me endure any more pain, alright?”

Xia Jing felt there was really no immediate way to respond to her husband, but this matter couldn’t be rushed. Without mutual love in the heart, why stay together? It would only increase each other’s troubles.

Rather than staying together and living in unrest, it’s better to not be together, to give each other a way out, allowing each other to live happily, at least they still have a life in this world. He really didn’t know how to convey his feelings to his husband.

Maybe if he spoke his mind, his husband would become irrational and act even more crazily. That’s not impossible.

”Zhentian, actually I don’t know how to talk to you about some things now because I’m afraid once I say it, you’ll become even more unreasonable, and take it to an extreme.

You also know how everyone gets by, which person hasn’t come step by step through hard work to today? Everyone who achieves success puts in much more effort than anyone else. We’ve become like this now, do you think we can go back to how we were?

Even if you can pretend like nothing ever happened, that you don’t mind anything, do you think I wouldn’t have any guilt in my heart?

I’m not heartless, I feel all you’ve done for me, I just chose to be silent. I felt that as long as I remained silent and pretended not to understand, maybe one day you would give up on your own. But I didn’t expect my silence to last decades, and still, you’ve dedicated yourself quietly all these years. These feelings are not worthless in my eyes, they’re too precious, I don’t know how to bear them. I also don’t know how to endure it all.

You might feel your dedication to me is worthwhile, but in my eyes, it’s not worth it. It’s just you foolishly giving your everything alone!

Sometimes I really want to loudly tell you I also want to live happily with you, but I’m not a saint. In my heart, I can only hold one man in my lifetime. Even if my heart occasionally beats for you, it’s not love but just the emotion from your sacrifices!

You should understand that emotion isn’t love. If choosing a lifetime partner based on one emotion after another, it’s unrealistic. The world is so cruel, only showing us reality again and again, making us realize our outcome more clearly.

Do you understand now what I’m saying?”

What is there that Zhang Zhentian couldn’t understand? But he didn’t want to admit it, so he could only foolishly continue as before, thinking maybe one day Heaven would look kindly on him.

”No matter what, I still sincerely thank you for this time, giving me a chance. Thank you for willing to try to love me, for me, that’s already a huge piece of good news. I won’t demand more because that way it would only backfire!”

I don’t know if you understand why I’ve done everything.