My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1872: Chapter 1666: Deeply Entrenched

In the depths of my heart, as long as you can return to my side, I actually want nothing else. Sometimes, I repeatedly ask myself whether everything I have done is right or wrong. Each decision I forced you to make step by step, what kind of outcome will it ultimately bring?

After you left, I thought I wouldn’t be heartbroken, wouldn’t feel sad, and would happily laugh there. But later, I realized that after you left me, the most painful thing is that I lost my smile. In my inner world, all I wanted was your companionship, but ultimately I personally destroyed the right you had to stay by my side.

I always thought that as long as I could have him in my embrace, I could do whatever I wanted recklessly, even if it meant making him bruised all over, he would not leave. But I never imagined that one day when he decided to leave me, it would be so resolute and without mercy.

Zhang Yichen said to Old Master Zhang, ”Grandpa, can you understand my feelings? I forced the woman I love most out of my life, and I yearn so deeply to bring her back to me, but Heaven never gave me the chance. When I speak of her, I experience my own inner pain over and over again; in a daze, she has already walked far away.

In a blink, three years have passed again and again, yet I still haven’t heard her voice. In front of the agreed-upon old scene, did the love words I promised her become smoke? Suddenly, I watched spring go and autumn come, all the longing seemed so futile, and I no longer know who I can spend the rest of my life with.

I watch leaves fall, flowers fill the sky, I witness the cycles of seasons appearing before me time and time again, and how I long in the moment I turn to see her shadow here with me, but that is so distant, I ultimately cannot find her back. Again and again, in the dark night, I reach out but can’t see my room, as if in this world I can no longer touch her figure or feel her presence.

I have never felt such despair as I do now, I have never experienced such heart-wrenching pain. Where exactly is she, when will she return to my side, when will I know that in her inner world, she hasn’t forgotten me?”

Old Master Zhang knows all too well his grandson’s deep inner thoughts but finds it inappropriate to express them too plainly. Every choice was made by him back then, so he must bear the responsibility himself.

”Child, some things are not as simple as you imagine. Everyone must pay the corresponding price for every decision they make, no matter what you once forced her to leave for.

You should know there are things that cannot simply be undone with an apology. The damage caused cannot be erased. Her inner world may not have forgotten you, but she no longer knows how to return to your side, how to face you. She also has concerns, afraid that with another encounter with you, it would lead to the same ending. He is also a person; he also has a heart, a heart that beats!

Sometimes, you should also consider things from his perspective. The hurt you brought him, how can he forget? It wasn’t you who gave him that; he loves you so deeply, but you ultimately made him leave. The thing that captivated you most about him is now what you hate about him the most.”

How many affluent families end up in father-son conflict because the father wants to interfere in their son’s affairs, intervening again and again until they end up at odds? I don’t want our final outcome to be just like any ordinary affluent family. I wish our lives to differ from everyone else, that we blaze our own trail, making others proud of the path we’ve taken rather than seeing us repeat their past mistakes and stepping onto the path they once went astray on.

If you truly believe in me as your son, then please give me a chance, let me try to walk my own path. I want to create my life; I wish for my life to be joyful, happy. Dad, your life is incomplete, I also understand youth is a bright sadness, without sadness, youth is incomplete. But now I don’t want to bear it all, I just want to live happily, I just wish everyone could give me a little trust, even if it’s just the last bit of trust, I don’t want all trust to become void at this moment.

Zhang Yichen thought his son could be so unyielding, so obstinate, he didn’t know how to advise his son any longer. His tongue was about to dry from speaking, yet his son remained stubbornly stuck in a blind alley, unable to find his way out, leaving him truly embarrassed and hard-pressed. If intervening in his son’s life meant ending up at odds, what then could he do? Time after time, he acted out of his son’s best interest, but if his intervention ultimately led to an incomplete life, then he would rather never interfere in his son’s life throughout his life.

”Nai’er, how many times must I tell you, I do this not to interfere with your life, let alone dominate it, but to spare you some detours and save you from pain. The suffering your father experienced, I don’t want you to endure that deep agony. What you won’t endure in this lifetime is that your mother and I would never abandon you, you would never be seen as the child thrown away by mom and dad; that is your greatest happiness in the world.

I sincerely hope you don’t tell me how your life should be, because every life cannot be realized just by words now; actions are what make it happen. I know you will say it’s because I don’t trust you and haven’t let go that you have no way to prove if your life is right or wrong. But do you know? The day I truly let go, you will truly lose me. Are you really willing to let your biological father leave you completely for this lifetime, leaving you without any paternal love or care?”

”You must believe, as long as you persist and await alone, Heaven will surely bring you together again, it’s just that time isn’t ripe yet...”