My Alleged Husband

Chapter 511: Chapter 490: Words that Condemn the Heart_1

”Dad, since you’ve put it that way, I want to ask you something. If you were the one who had been driven out of the house, if you were the one who had been consistently rejected all these years, do you think you would come back to this home now? Just because you offered a few words of repentance and because you were unaware and did not understand what I was thinking at the time, should I comply with everything you’ve arranged for me? I am a person too. I have my own thoughts, my own soul. I know what I am doing. I don’t need to walk the path of life that someone else has laid out for me, step by step. Wouldn’t that make me a puppet? I don’t want to be a puppet. Do you understand? If it wasn’t for your desire to control my life and arrange everything for me, how could I possibly have resorted to this method of confronting you? If I hadn’t chosen this way to stand up to you, how could I have been driven out and denied a place in this home? All these years, how much have I longed to return home? Do you understand? You never knew what I wanted, because you never even figured out what you yourself wanted. No matter how much I missed you, even to the point of shamelessly coming back home and begging you to let me return, how did you treat me? You ruthlessly turned me away, with words that pierced my heart. As you said yourself, if a human heart is hurt for too long, it dies. A person without a heart, do you think it can still be moved and beat for someone else? No, it cannot. Just like how I am now—my heart, having been rejected by you time and again, is already dead. I will no longer be moved by any changes you’ve made, nor will the warm words you say bring me any solace or happiness. My life has come to this point, all thanks to you. You have never considered what I wanted, always imposing your own desires on others. You always believed that what you wanted was what everyone else wanted too. But did you ever truly understand others? Do you know what’s in their hearts? You never tried to understand what others wanted, always presuming to control someone else’s life. Because of this, my heart has grown cold. I will not return to this family, because I am afraid, afraid that if I come back, you will find ways to manipulate my life again. I don’t know if you have really come to understand or what, but I am a bit scared that your ploy is to get me back home so you can find other ways to control my life again. Do you understand?”

Old Master Zhang truly hadn’t expected to hear such words from his son. They were devastating! This was his own flesh and blood speaking so harshly. Could it really be that his own father meant so little in his eyes? Had what he wanted really seemed so selfish through his son’s eyes? He wasn’t that kind of person. He only wanted him to live a carefree life, to never lack for Cross Halberds. He had started from nothing and worked his way up from hardship to wealth, and he feared his son would endure the same hardships. That’s why he made those choices. But it seemed those decisions would never be forgiven by his loved ones because he could not share those burdens with them. How could he let his loved ones share in the heavy responsibilities?

”Zhentian, do you know? The words you said to your father today are truly heart-wrenching. By saying them, you have shown that you no longer regard me as your father. I know I did you wrong in the past, that I shouldn’t have tried to control your life. But it’s been so many years, and I have really come around now, not as some trick to deceive you into coming back for me to manipulate your life. Can’t you trust your father just once? Didn’t I say you could bring your wife back home? If I still wanted to shape your life, how could I possibly let you bring your wife back home? I would only want you to cut ties with her completely, wouldn’t I? I hope you won’t doubt every decision I make now because of the mistakes I made in the past. I know the wrongs I did may seem unforgivable to you, but can’t you be a bit understanding of your father’s past foolishness? I realize now that what you really wanted wasn’t power or desire, but the freedom that you truly deserve, the right to have control over your own life. And because you don’t want me to block your path, I hope you’ll come back, come back to your father and stop saying such devastating things to me!”

Elder Zhang, in speaking to his son, now pleads earnestly. He truly has no other way. He cannot let go of the prejudice his son harbors. He wants his son to understand that things are not as he imagines, that his heart is not so malicious, but that he simply hadn’t understood the implications at the time. Now he’s come to understand, yet would his son still refuse to return to him? How could a younger person expect an elder to plead this way? Yet Old Master Zhang is indeed imploring his son with a begging tone. He knows the hurt inflicted on his son might be indescribable, and although he cannot experience it himself, he understands that he has genuinely wounded his son’s heart. Perhaps only by letting him carry out his will would he understand that his father has really seen the light, that he won’t interfere with his son’s life anymore. But when will that be? Sometimes Old Master Zhang himself wonders whether he still has the chance to wait for that day, to wait for his son to return home, for a family reunion, to hold his next great-grandchild.