My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1940: Chapter 1734: Taking Control

Who among us hasn’t done things that lead to regret without any certainty? Who hasn’t repeatedly gambled everything they have on each decision they’ve made? Who isn’t struggling step by step in the fear of losing?

”Child, I know, even though you’re comforting Grandpa with your words, your heart is still in pain. How can you not be in pain? That’s your biological father, after all. The harm he’s caused you is absolutely no less than the harm he’s caused Grandpa. Actually, I believe that in your heart, you have the same questions as I do: Why did my parents leave me? Why did they cruelly abandon me again and again? Am I really so insignificant in their hearts? Do they really not care about me? Grandpa once had all the questions you have in your heart, but gradually, I no longer dwell on these elusive self-doubts because I realized that if these things could bring my questions back to my side, then I could question myself every day. But no matter how I reflect on my actions, none of this will come back to me, because no one will believe me. Since no one will believe me, why bother with unnecessary proofs? Everyone’s thoughts are different. Some people can happily live their own lives, carefree all their lives, but some people live their whole lives on the edge of pain. They have no joy because there is nothing joyful in their hearts. Their hearts are dark. Once you gradually figure things out, you’ll find that all of this can indeed be disregarded. No one will be unable to live after losing someone; they can still live freely and happily even after losing someone. And those who can never let go are only the ones who abandon others or are abandoned by others! The most important thing in life is to learn how to grow. Once you’ve learned to grow, what is there to be afraid of? Even if, in the end, no one is willing to come back to your side, you still have everything that you’ve worked hard to earn. Stop caring about those who don’t care about you, otherwise not only do you live a tired life, but those who are with you live an even more exhausted life. Don’t hurt those who care about you because of those unworthy of your attention. It’s not worth it!”

”Grandpa, you’re right, I’ve been through all of this too, and I know what I should do with these thoughts. But I can never let go of all these things. On one side is my biological mother, on the other is my biological father. The harm they’ve done to me, how can I forget it all my life when I hold them so important, care so much about them? But how they hurt me, what on earth am I in their eyes, just an item that can be discarded at will? Even if it were an item, then having given birth to it with great effort, one should have some feelings already. When they abandoned me at first, they didn’t even blink. How deep my inner pain is, who can understand? Everyone thinks I’m selfish for doing this, rejecting my biological father and mother and not letting them come home. But who knows the pain in my heart? Perhaps some people don’t find all of this so important, but to me, it’s all important. I can’t accept that my parents, just because they gave birth to me, for the sake of their freedom, abandoned the son they gave birth to with so much effort. I don’t know why they gave birth to me in the first place, I don’t know if they just wanted to leave a descendant for the Zhang Family, and I certainly don’t understand why they did it. Is their freedom really so important that they can abandon their own child? If so, why did they bring me into this world? At the same time, I am quite grateful to them. If it weren’t for them bringing me into this world and abandoning me, how would I have today’s achievements? Although every day in my childhood was very difficult, spent constantly in training, my life is always joyful because I have the world’s purest emotion, the purest family love, which is my Grandpa. Grandpa, you’ve given me so many benefits, it’s you who have made my achievements today, none of this has anything to do with my parents, and I will not, because of these matters, harbor gratitude towards them because they don’t deserve it. Since they originally decided to abandon me, then they shouldn’t think of returning to my side in this lifetime. I don’t have such parents. I once gave them a chance to turn over a new leaf, to let them come home and spend the happiest time with us, but they personally let such chances slip away. In their hearts, they never had us, so why should we force them to stay by our side? Wouldn’t it be painful for them as well? If they wish to continue drifting around, then let them go. They’ve already been used to a life of drifting around, not used to staying at home. If that’s the case, why should I force them, causing everyone to live unsettled lives? Grandpa, I know, sometimes my decisions are really excessive, but I hope you can also understand my inner feelings. I can never forgive them again. The hurt they caused this time is really too much; I can’t forget it all my life. But I always force myself to forgive them while they continue to hurt me again and again. I’m human, I have emotions, and I can’t withstand being hurt so many times! Now, my heart is already shattered, and I can no longer build any trust in them, nor have any feelings for them. My heart has been utterly broken by them. With a broken heart, can there be any feelings left?” Old Master Zhang knew every word his grandson said was the truth. He knew his grandson had already been heartbroken by his own son, and wasn’t he the same? His heart had been utterly broken by his own son, leaving him with no choice but to accept all the consequences because he is indeed his own son. How could he easily give him up? Actually, Old Master Zhang understood as well that a heart that has been broken beyond repair can never be healed in this lifetime, and it’s truly impossible to return to the way things were before. They never thought that one day it would turn out this way, so why should he worry about them for nothing? If they want this kind of life, then let them have it!

Many people spend their whole lives just gambling on that one outcome.