My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1922: Chapter 1717: Flickering

When my tears shimmer in my eyes, when all my genuine feelings for you have frozen over, I don’t know how to describe this feeling, no one has ever understood my pain, so why say I’m indifferent?

”Since your words have come to this point, I have nothing more to hold onto. You’ve decided to leave, so what use are my words now? Your heart is no longer with me, it left long ago. In that case, why should I force you to stay by my side? That would only make you live in more pain. I’m not that selfish; I just wish for the one I love to feel happy and joyful because of my presence. But now I understand, being with you will not make you happy. I won’t let the woman I love most be unhappy because of me. That would be too selfish. So go, be happy and carefree. Once you’ve left, you’ll realize the one who loves you most is me. I’ll let you see that having me in your life is your greatest blessing. I don’t ask for much in this life; I only hope to stay with, accompany, and love you for a lifetime. But now it seems even this simplest wish is beyond reach. Maybe one day, you’ll understand I’m still the one who loves you the most.”

Xia Jing said nothing, nor did he give Zhang Zhentian a chance to speak. He just turned and left, heading to the Zhang Family. He wanted to say goodbye to his father, his son and daughter-in-law, and his grandson. Indeed, he was leaving here. He felt that continuing to live here was meaningless, and he wanted to find another place to live.

Old Master Zhang saw his daughter-in-law return home and found it puzzling. Didn’t she just leave? Why did she suddenly return? Could it be that she’s really realized and plans to come back home? But even if she realized it, there was no hurry. She could pack everything and move in tomorrow. So why choose this exact moment?

”Xia Jing, is there something you want to say to me? Why did you leave and then come back?” Old Master Zhang asked Xia Jing.

”Dad, actually, I’ve come back because I want to tell you something. I’ve now decided to leave here and live in another city for a while. I feel there are too many people and things here that remind me emotionally. You should understand the kind of feelings I have now; sometimes even breathing feels painful. Do you know how unbearable that kind of feeling is? After experiencing everything here, I’ve realized the path I should take isn’t this one. I should walk a road that belongs to my own life. I shouldn’t give up my original goals for anyone. I’m going abroad. During this time, I want to thank you. Thank you for raising my son for me, and thank you for finding him such a good wife. Now my son and daughter-in-law have their own child. I believe they will treat their child well; they are responsible parents, unlike me, who gave up my child for my own selfish reasons...”

”I know, whatever decision you make, no one can change it. But I hope you can stay and be with us, alright? I’ve always regarded you as my own daughter. I never imagined things between us would reach this point. I know what happened between you and Zhentian, but shouldn’t you both reconcile? You’ve lived together for over a decade, so you know all about each other, right? If that’s the case, why do this? You’re just making each other suffer even more!”

”Dad, I must admit, these past years with him have been the happiest of my life. Through so many storms, we got through them together. But now, he’s abandoned me. What message should I give him? Should I give him another chance to abandon me again? I’m not a Saint; I can’t endure my husband abandoning me time and again and remain indifferent. That’s not me. His abandonment has truly hurt me. I never thought he would treat me this way. All I wished was for him to stay by my side and live an ordinary, peaceful life. But he blamed all his mistakes on me, making me a scapegoat. I’ve taken the fall for him so many times, yet he never appreciated it! I understand he’s doing this for understandable reasons; people all have selfish motives and want to appear perfect before those they care about. But he didn’t know that while trying to show his perfect side to his father and son, he showed his ugliest side to his wife. Because of this, I saw his true nature. He isn’t the person I want. After years with him, I slowly realized that no matter how sincerely I treated him, he never reciprocated that feeling. When a relationship fails, it’s a failure, and it’s impossible to turn back. My feelings with him have reached this point, so there’s no possibility for us anymore. Rather than living in such pain together, wouldn’t it be better for us to each walk our own path? Perhaps now my leaving is the greatest blessing for him. Once I am gone from his heart, he can happily live the life he desires, undisturbed by anyone else. I disrupted his life plans, causing mistakes when following me. Now it’s time for me to let go, to give each other a way out and prevent further mistakes. We are truly incompatible. After his heartless abandonment, I realized there’s no way for us to live together. He only brought me pain, but those moments with him made me happy. So, Dad, I hope you take good care of my son, grandson, and my dear daughter-in-law during my absence.”

”Oh, alright! Since you’ve made your decision, let’s do as you say. But after you leave, remember to call me and let me know you’re safe. Don’t forget, your son and I will always worry about you...”

I only hope this love will forever remain in my heart, undisturbed by anything else. That’s all!