My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1905: Chapter 1700: Casual

Sometimes, a casual word you say without thinking causes harm to both sides. Is this really the outcome I wanted?

”Alright, since you’ve said it to this extent, I have no argument left. I know, in your heart, I’ve never existed. I don’t regret spending my youth waiting for you all these years. In my world, as long as I believe I love you, I can go on living to protect you; that’s enough for me.

Perhaps everyone’s pursuits are different, leading to different outcomes. You want freedom and a life filled with love, while I just wanted to have you, waiting for so many years for you, offering all my youth for your sake.

Now I’m tired. I realize all of this was self-inflicted, and in the end, I’ve only hurt my own feelings. Since your heart never had me, why should I force you to stay by my side? I shouldn’t have appeared, and I definitely shouldn’t have disrupted your peaceful and happy life. Now I’ve become a historical sinner, and I have no way to forgive myself. But I hope you can have peace and stability. For me, it’s enough, I ask nothing more. I only hope you can see me as a friend and not hate me!”

Ran Zhihan never thought one day the once good classmate relationship would end up like this. She never imagined this day would come so quickly. She only wanted a stable life. Why is it that in the end, so many people get hurt? Is it possible that her so-called love will ultimately make everyone else sad because of her?

Because of her, her grandfather has been worried, and her marriage is on the verge of collapse, facing separation. Yet she remains stubborn, repeatedly causing difficulties and heartbreak for everyone. Why does no one understand her good intentions? Why does everyone view her as an enemy? Are they really not able to trust her at all?

”I’ve already said, no matter what, I won’t choose to hate you, because everything you’ve done was for me. You’ve been seriously hurt because of me. I shouldn’t assume the worst of you, knowing that no matter the mistakes you made, it’s all because of me that you ended up in this endless abyss. I have no right to blame you, nor any right to complain about you. I can only let you know, no matter what, I’ll always believe in you, because in my heart, you’ve always been my best friend!

Since we’ve come to this point, I might as well be blunt. Since I have always seen you as my good friend, you should not hold any improper thoughts about me. You should correctly view me as your friend and not have any idea of exploiting me repeatedly. I don’t know how to express my current feelings to you, but at least I want you to clearly know that some things cannot be forced, and not all relationships can achieve true ownership. Maybe you don’t yet understand the nature of our relationship, but please understand my sincere intentions—it’s truly not suitable for us to be together. Maybe you once thought we were truly meant to be together, that we shared the same worldviews, but eventually, you’ll realize we aren’t truly compatible...”

Even though Chen Gang knew in his heart that this response was coming, hearing such words from the woman he loves still brought unease. Why is it that all he can earn from her eyes after so much he’s given is a simple thank you, yet in the end, still bears her condemnation? Are his efforts really all in vain? Why can’t she see any good in his actions, and why must he bear so much pain? Why has everything become so difficult because of his appearance, when all he wanted was to regain lost love, only to end up this miserably?

”Yes, to you it doesn’t mean much, because you didn’t pay any heavy price for it. But what about me? I’ve paid my youth for so many years. Is only a woman’s youth precious, while my youth as a man is not precious? I could’ve easily found a whole woman to marry and have children with during this time, but I didn’t. I held onto a lucky thought, just wanting to be with you, even loving you still when you had children with someone else. That never changed. But today, hearing these words from you, my heart has turned cold. It turns out that no matter how many things I do, you ultimately can’t see the good in it. You never believed my actions were for you. Your world had already been distorted, and in your eyes, I never had any status.

Zhihan, is your heart truly made of stone? I’ve sacrificed so much for you, and can you truly turn a blind eye and a deaf ear? Why can’t you calm down and ask yourself what kind of love you truly want? All these years of waiting for you have been in vain. Because of one word from you, I gave up all my youth, but in your eyes, I still can’t earn a place, and you’ll never consider my true desires. You’ll only know that everything you do is not what I wanted!

Is hurting me a joy in your eyes? Is it that by injuring me, you think you can live well? Is hurting others truly the means to fulfill your so-called love and happiness? Can your happiness truly last built upon someone else’s pain? Today, I finally understand all my love for you over the years is merely a self-inflicted fantasy. You never loved me because I never existed for you. In the end, I still took this irreversible path!

Indeed, all along, I’ve been self-delusional. I’m not deserving of you; it’s always been my wishful thinking!”

Don’t make hasty decisions casually, nor easily abandon your deepest thoughts. Zhihan, where are you now? How are you doing?