My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1918: Chapter 1713: Ten Thousand Miles

My love for you is as fearless as a moth drawn to a flame; even the piercing cold wind cannot scatter my feelings for you.

”Zhentian, there are some things deep down you are very clear about; they can’t just be forgotten. Like today, when I did this to you and said these things to you, you may think you can shrug them off, but deep down, can you truly remain indifferent? Can you truly not feel conflicted or hurt inside?

I believe you feel the same pain inside, because as a man, you possess dignity. You don’t want your wife to be coveted by others, nor do you want her heart to harbor another man who isn’t you. For you, this is a massive insult.

Over the years, I have seen your genuine heart, but I’ve continuously chosen to overlook it, to render your sincere feelings invisible, to treat your harshest truths like they’re nothing. I know this is unfair to you, but there are certain things I can’t change. I can only fight back against you this way because perhaps only by doing this will you slowly let go of me.

I once read a book called ”Letting Go Is Also a Kind of Beauty”. Letting go is a kind of fulfillment. Do you know how surprised I was when I read this? I wondered why others can let go so perfectly, can turn away flawlessly, even if they are tearful at that moment of turning away, they can still resolutely leave. Why can’t I?

If back then, during your pursuit, I had turned away decisively, would such a tragedy have happened today? Would you not have been hurt so deeply by me? All of this was a mistake of my own making, yet in the end, you end up bearing the pain alongside me. I am truly sorry.

Some things truly can’t be let go of. You can’t abandon the past, and you have no way to forget what I’ve said to you. Since that’s the case, why do we continue to force ourselves to be entangled together, while each of us harbors guilt and unease? Is this the life either of us wants? This life is just forcing each other into a corner step by step, until the moment one is completely cornered, one realizes what mistake was made and what choice was made, and what consequence it brings—whether we have gotten what we wanted in life!”

Zhang Zhentian understood the intention behind his wife’s words; she just wants him to let go, to fulfill her, to let her leave. But to him, isn’t this the hardest thing in the world?

”Maybe what you say is right. But for me, it’s impossible to fulfill that. Maybe I lack the generosity. But you know, just the thought of letting go, of the woman I’ve worked so hard to cherish for decades no longer being mine, my heart feels as if it’s being cut by a knife. I can’t bear that pain, and I don’t want you to bear it either. I just want a stable life together—we can’t manage that? Isn’t it okay to give a retreat to each other, to ourselves?

You think I can’t let go of our past, but today I want to clearly tell you—as long as you’re willing to try to give me a chance, try to love me, try to stay by my side!

Then I am willing to abandon all past events for you. I can treat those past happenings as if they never occurred. I will still love you as before, still stay by your side, unwavering until the rest of my life as we venture through life together.

Maybe right now you don’t fully believe what I’m saying. But you know? Every word I say to you is heartfelt truth. I’ve never wanted to deceive you, even when you’ve told me many lies, I still believe in you in my heart. I’m still willing to make choices for you that everyone else considers unwise, make decisions considered unwise, but I just want you to stay by my side. I’ve gone to such lengths, I believe you won’t be as cold-hearted as before, knowing deep down your heart has feelings for me, yet still rejecting me from afar...”

Zhang Yichen heard his father’s words, feeling a bit conflicted inside; his heart was also trembling. Even his own father can let go of some old biases for his mother, for his beloved; why couldn’t he? His wife is someone he painstakingly sought for ten years; breaking such a feeling cannot simply be done. Shouldn’t he make some sacrifices for her? Must he truly act with such autocracy, letting his lifelong major events be ruined by petty issues?

Only truly letting go of the past can be the best choice for their future. Perhaps only by doing so can each person understand what kind of life they truly want, what choices they’ll make for that life. Maybe those choices will benefit a lifetime, or maybe they will lead to lifelong debt.

Ran Zhihan’s heart was also pensive. She didn’t understand why her parents could reach such an outcome, yet her husband was unwilling to let go of some old biases?

If her husband could do the same, how wonderful that would be; how happy her life would be, but nobody knows.

”Zhentian, some things can’t just simply be let go of, you should understand that. Even if you swear vehemently here that you can let go of all the past, can your heart truly overcome that hurdle?

I don’t want you to force yourself to do anything. I only want you to speak and act honestly based on your heart. I hope you can live happily and joyfully. I don’t mind, I don’t care how painful life might be for me, as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. I’ve owed you so much in the past, I’ve never thought of making any changes for you. Now I just want to pay something for you!

I also hope you won’t foolishly invest all your feelings in me like before; eventually that will really tire you out. One day my departure will feel like the biggest blow to you—that isn’t the ending I want to see; I want to see you smiling joyfully at me.

But what you said today really moved me; maybe someday I might deeply fall in love with you, endlessly, until that day comes when I truly become unable to extricate myself, entrapped for life. If indeed that day arrives, I hope you can truly let go of the past, as you said today, and wholeheartedly live with me!”

In the end, I realized that indeed, flowers make sounds when they bloom; I’m no longer afraid of time fleeting like a journey!