My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1907: Chapter 1702: Weakness

”Grandpa, do you know how much I long for him to show just a hint of weakness, to look deeper into my thoughts and understand my expectations of him? I wish we weren’t like enemies every time we meet. The moment he left, his figure disappearing from my sight became a pain I could never forget in this lifetime.”

Old Master Zhang’s pathological report is about to come out. He waits with anticipation for a good result, but she fears this result might cause him to break down. Yet there’s nothing he can do; many things must be experienced personally.

After having lunch, the doctor called her into the office. He instantly knew the news, unsure whether to speak or stay silent. If he spoke, would it be too much of a psychological burden on his patient? Yet if he didn’t, how could the patient at ease recuperate without knowing his condition?

”Doctor, may I ask what my health condition really is? I hope you can be as honest as before, without hiding anything from me. You can’t hide it from me forever, no matter if it’s good or bad; it’s a result I must bear. Only by shouldering what I ought to bear can I perhaps lead a different life.

I’m very clear about whether this result is good or bad. Regardless, I must bear it myself. This is the result I desire. I don’t want to be clueless about how I died by the time I’m gone. I want to die understanding exactly why. You know, for someone like me, self-respect and pride are everything...”

The doctor deeply understands that chatting with such a seasoned business veteran is indeed quite humbling.

Yet this doctor is still conflicted. He’s unsure of the correct course of action, and if he proceeds, how to calm his own heart. But it’s his Uncle Shi!

”Uncle Shi, since you’re so keen to know about your condition, I must truthfully inform you; the test results aren’t great. The tumor has been confirmed as malignant, and I don’t know how much time you have left. However, I hope you can spend this final period living happily the way you wish. You could undergo chemotherapy, and maybe there’s a chance of recovery, but ultimately, the choice is yours alone...”

Although Old Master Zhang had long suspected this outcome, hearing it directly from the doctor was still a shock. He never thought his initially healthy body could deteriorate to such a state.

”Since things have reached this point, there’s no point in being indifferent. Still, I hope you can keep it confidential. Don’t tell my grandchildren; they have happy lives ahead. Why burden them with the anxiety over the forthcoming departure of an old man?

Your father and I are close friends, and I’ve always regarded you highly. Although in recent years, nothing significant has happened, I know your father has always kept in touch. I never replied to him because I understood that sometimes not saying anything is the best answer. If I leave one day, please tell him on my behalf that I’m sorry for failing his expectations of me!”

”Uncle Shi, don’t say that. You still have hope for recovery, yet you insist on giving up treatment. Are you really just afraid your grandchildren will panic upon knowing your condition? That’s only part of it. More importantly, you don’t want your son to know and return because of your illness, stepping all over your self-esteem again and again. You cannot bear such humiliation brought by your biological son. If, in your heart, you honestly care about your son, you should be frank with your family. While it might be hard for them to accept, it’s better than keeping silent. They’ll at least understand afterward, although they may live distractedly every day knowing it, it’s better than not knowing at all, realizing eventually that you hid such a critical matter from them, wouldn’t it? They only want their loved ones with them, hoping for honesty in everything. If you hide it, wouldn’t it make it even harder for them to accept?”

”You should know, once diagnosed, maintaining life is a sheer struggle, with an ordeal as constant agony for oneself. Such suffering leaves one internally frail and question the purpose of sustaining life. From the moment I suspected malignant cancer and my inability to remain long in this world, my heart has been difficult to contain. Outwardly, I act as if it’s trivial, but is it really so inside? Whose heart wouldn’t weaken post-illness, seeking comfort from others, yet I can’t because my family’s happiness matters more than my health. If I begin treatment, my family will know about my condition. I can’t let them endure sorrow over me, thus I’d rather bear it all alone than let them languish in sorrow as well.

If you truly regard me as your father’s close friend, a senior, please keep this confidential. Such news, if leaked, makes life increasingly unbearable. I can’t have my descendants overwhelmed with anxiety over a terminal old man. I can’t have them endure hardship daily, forc. smiling for a sick person, only to weep in solitude. I’ve had enough of such a life and won’t let my descendants live it too. Even if my son can’t return before I die, so be it, for these were my chosen outcomes that I alone shall bear...”

At that time, you also fell ill, and I was so afraid of losing either of you, yet I could never prevent these events from unfolding!