My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1915: Chapter 1710: Blank

From the beginning till now, I don’t even know if Yichen ever looked for me; he should regret his decision back then, right!

”Zhentian, some things you know deep down inside, can’t just be forgotten. Like what I did to you today, what I said to you, you think you can brush it off, but does your heart truly not struggle at all? Does your heart truly not ache at all?

I believe your heart aches too, because as a man, with the dignity you should have, you don’t want your wife to be desired by anyone else. You also don’t want your wife to have another man in her heart, especially if that man isn’t you. This is an enormous humiliation for you.

Over these years, I can see your genuine feelings for me, but I have always chosen to ignore them, turning a blind eye to your sincerity. Every earnest advice you gave, I pretended not to hear. I know it’s really unfair to you, but some things I can’t help. I can only use this way to tell you, to resist you, because maybe only this way, you’ll slowly let go of me.

I once read a book called ’Letting Go is also a Kind of Beauty’, ’Letting Go is a Fulfillment’. Do you know how shocked I was? I thought, why can others let go so perfectly, turn around so flawlessly, even if their eyes are full of tears at that moment of turning, they still insist on leaving with determination. Why can’t I?

If at the beginning when you pursued me, I turned away decisively, would today’s tragedy not have happened? Would you not have been hurt so deeply by me? All of this is my own mistake, but in the end, it lets you bear the pain with me. I really feel sorry.

Some things really can’t be let go of. You can’t give up the past, and you can’t forget the things I told you. Since that’s the case, why should we forcefully tangle together, with guilt and unease in both our hearts? Is this the life we want? This only pushes each other step by step to the brink of despair, until the moment we have no path to retreat, only then realizing what wrong choices we have made, what consequences these choices bring, and whether we’ve gained what we wanted in this life!”

Zhang Zhentian, how could he not understand the intention behind his wife’s words—to let him let go, fulfill her, and let her leave him. But for him, isn’t this the hardest thing in the world?

”Maybe what you say is right, but for me, there’s no way to fulfill that. Maybe I don’t have such magnanimity. But do you know? Just thinking about letting go of the woman I’ve painstakingly loved for decades tears me apart. I can’t bear that kind of pain. I don’t want you to bear it either. I just want us both to live peacefully together. Is that really so hard? Can’t we find a way to give ourselves a retreat?

You think I can’t let go of your past, but today I want to tell you clearly, if you are willing to try to give me a chance, try to love me, try to stay by my side!

Then I am willing to give up all the past for you. I can pretend those things never happened. I will still love you as before, stay by your side endlessly, until the end of my life, we face eternity together.

Maybe you don’t quite believe the words I say today, but do you know? Every word I say to you comes from the heart, I’ve never intended to deceive you, even though you’ve told me many lies, I still believe you. I’m still willing to make what others see as unwise choices, just to keep you by my side. I’ve gone this far; I believe you won’t remain cold-hearted, knowing you have feelings for me, yet pushing me away...”

Zhang Yichen felt torn hearing his father’s words. His heart trembled in response. If even his father could let go of past grievances for his mother, for love, then why couldn’t he? His wife was someone he searched for painstakingly over 10 years to find. Such feelings can’t just be severed. Couldn’t he make some sacrifices for her? Does he really have to be so stubborn, letting his entire life’s major events be ruined by trifles?

Perhaps truly letting go of the past is the best choice for a shared future. Perhaps only in this way will everyone understand what kind of life they truly desire, and what choices they must make for that life. Maybe those choices will benefit them for life, or render them deeply in debt.

Ran Zhihan also pondered deeply. She wondered why her parents could reach this point, yet her husband couldn’t let go of past grievances.

If her husband could do the same, how wonderful that would be. How happy would her life be? No one could know.

”Zhentian, some things aren’t so easily let go of. You should understand too. Even if you swear to me here that you can let go of the past, can your heart truly cross that barrier?

I don’t want you to force anything. I only hope you speak and act according to your heart, that you can live happily. It doesn’t matter to me how painful life is, as long as you are happy. In the past, I owed you too much, never considering changing for you. Now I just want to make an effort for your sake!

And I hope you won’t foolishly invest all your emotions in me again, as it will tire you out significantly. If I leave one day, it would deal you the greatest blow. That’s not the ending I wish to see; I want to see you smiling brightly at me.

However, for what you said today, I am truly moved. Maybe one day I will deeply fall in love with you, and when that day comes, I won’t be able to extricate myself. If that day truly arrives, I hope you will really let go of the past like you said today, and live with me with all your heart!”

I once loved with all my might, only to end up with a fair share of suffering. Did I deserve all of this?