My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1849: Chapter 1643: Blessing

I fear losing you more than anyone else. Everything I’ve done is just to keep you closer to me. If one day you choose to leave, I can only choose to bless you from afar.

”I really gave you a hard slap, scolded you for what you did—don’t you have any awareness? You hurt me so deeply. Were your actions a true reflection of love for me, or were they just a false judgment made to achieve your own goals?

I used to believe every word you said without any doubt, because we were classmates, and our relationship was better than anyone else’s. But today I realized it was all to use me. You make me feel afraid. I can’t imagine where the once sunny you has gone. Why does the current you feel so unfamiliar to me? Why can’t I see the light and time we spent as classmates in you anymore?

Chen Gang, everyone needs to pay for their choices. Every action you take may seem trivial to you, but to others, it’s very serious. No one will let you hurt others casually. The reason someone lets you hurt them is because they value you and consider you their closest friend. But your actions have turned everyone cold-hearted. What right do you have now to demand me to treat you as I did before, to consider you my best friend? Maybe I was blind to treat you that way, but I know I was wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, and you do too. Why can’t you understand the torment in my heart?”

”Zihan, you ask me to understand your inner torment, but what about you? How have you treated me? Over the years, I’ve endured so much for you, yet this is the result. You think all this is just a plot I laid out myself. You still believe everything was a deception towards you. In your eyes, am I really that worthless? Why can’t you give me one more chance to trust me? Is trusting me really that hard for you? Trust is mutual, I know that. No one will trust you for no reason. I know I’ve done wrong things that hurt you deeply, but can’t you really forgive me?”

”Forgive you? The word ’forgiveness’ has never been in my dictionary. I don’t know how to face you now. Every action of yours makes me see you in a new light. I couldn’t imagine that you were once the same classmate. I really thought your heart had me in it, that you loved me, truly cared about me, which is why you did such extreme things. But in the end, I found this was not the truth. The truth was a facade you created for your own interests. You deceived yourself and everyone around you.

In your eyes, am I really that untrustworthy? Why do you hurt me with lies like this? Clearly, some things can be resolved simply, but you chose the most complex way—a way that hurt you and our friendship. In your eyes, is our friendship really that fragile, that unable to withstand tests?

Sometimes I really can’t understand it. If you trusted me a little more, how good would that be? If you could consider me a bit more, perhaps our relationship wouldn’t have reached such an awkward point. Everyone’s heart reciprocates. You hurt me, and I can’t easily forgive you. I can’t forgive someone who made me sad, someone who uses me. I’m not asking for much. But to you, you can’t give me anything I want because you never thought of what you could give me. Your biggest weakness is your overconfidence—always believing you’re right in everything, always thinking everything you do is for others’ good. But do you know? What you say might be the biggest hurt to others, like me!

You always believe you love me, but in the end, didn’t your actions hurt my mom and the relationship between us? You saw me as unable to withstand such hurt, as a woman strong inside despite gentle outside, thinking I can endure any torment, pass any test. But every heart can feel pain, especially one that’s been hurt. You never cared about my true feelings. What I want is so little, yet what you can give me is even less...

Don’t entangle with me like before. Let’s each leave ourselves a way out. Go live your stable life, and don’t disturb me anymore, so that I can live the life I want, peacefully, okay? Don’t push me to the brink. Even cornered dogs will jump over walls, let alone humans. I can’t imagine if you push me again, what I will do. I’ve lost control of my rationality, my heart is trembling because I hate you, I hate you—every time using me, I hate you for using my trust, I hate you for using me to hurt the man I love the most. I never thought I’d be so foolish one day, being used by someone I believed in wholeheartedly. I never imagined that the once sunny boy has now become so unscrupulous that I can no longer recognize him!”

”Maybe you think everything I did for you is in vain, but do you know? All I want is for you to be by my side—love that will never change in this lifetime.

I once let you go, let go of your hand, causing me to regret it for eternity. The moment I returned to see you in someone else’s arms, do you know how much it pained my heart? I could hardly believe that after so many years, you changed so much, while I stayed here foolishly waiting for you.

Maybe you think no matter how many years I wait for you, it’s all the same in your eyes, and I can never return to your side. But do you understand? As long as there’s a sliver of hope, I won’t easily give up. I only want to fulfill my initial dream, to be with the woman I love the most, even if the hope is slim, I am willing to wait!”

I’ll choose to wait another three years. If after three years you still haven’t returned to me, then I’ll have to give up.