My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1830: Chapter 1624: Longing

Sometimes, time really feels like a deceiver, turning the most beautiful promises into the most hurtful lies!

”Do you think there’s anything different now between us? Every single thing you’ve done has thoroughly damaged my trust in you. Do you think we can go back to being the friends we once were?

You’ve said it yourself, trust between friends should be mutual. Yet you chose to exploit my trust in you, so what right do you have now to negotiate with me? Every word you say is nothing but the utterances of a clown to me. I won’t trust you anymore, because there is no part of you that I should believe in. You used my trust in you, treated me like this, so why should I still consider you my most genuine friend? Are you even worthy of being my friend? After all we’ve been through, is this what it’s come to?

I’ve never cared whether you would place the utmost trust in me, but I never imagined you would exploit me one day. I always thought we were the best of friends, but the moment you used me, I realized we can’t even be friends. So why not let each other live peacefully? Please completely withdraw from my world. You’re already threatening me. I can’t keep someone who poses a threat by my side—I’d lose sleep over it.”

”In truth, isn’t what you’re expressing deep down just fear? Aren’t you afraid I would use you again? Aren’t you fear that you may fall for me again someday? Aren’t you simply trying to prove to your husband that there’s absolutely nothing between us?”

Ran Zhihan suddenly realized that no matter what she said, there was no way to communicate with the man in front of her. Some things she didn’t want to say outright, but he forced her, again and again, to make painful decisions. Is it really so hard for her desires to be understood? Why treat her this way? To him, what is she, really? A disposable item to be used over and over? Yet she’s a living person, with a soul she deserves, and rights she possesses. On what grounds does he act like this?

”No matter what my reasons are for making this decision, you should at least know that there’ll never be anything possible between us again. You’ve hurt me, so why tell me these false words to comfort me? We’re really not suitable for each other. You don’t have my trust, so what’s the point? Moreover, I already have my own family—my own identity, my own children. Please don’t embarrass me anymore.”

”Am I really the one embarrassing you? Haven’t you ever considered all these things you’ve done? Don’t you realize who’s right or wrong? You hurt me like this. Why would I treat you as a sincere friend? I’ve waited for you all these years, without even receiving an apology from you. Yet you ask me not to embarrass you? Ask yourself, who is embarrassing whom? Why do you utter such heartless words that make things so irreconcilable between us? Is rest in your heart only possible when we’ve fought like this? Stop saying these words that make it hard for each of us. You think I’ve threatened you, yet can you honestly tell me otherwise? If you’re not afraid of my threats, why would you compromise? I don’t know what to say to you. Maybe those words would make you feel very uncomfortable, but in my heart, I truly care about you!”

”Shut up. Some things, don’t repeatedly bring them up. It only increases the painful burden in my heart. Many things between us don’t need to happen, but you retaliate against me, against my family. How do you expect me to care about you?

Every person will reflect on their feelings. You’ve hurt me, so I can’t sincerely treat you anymore. We all have moments of heartache. You’ve treated me like this, so why should I consider you important? I’m not a saint, just a man. I need the sincere treatment of a woman I love, but since you can’t be devoted to me, don’t forcibly demand that I promise not to betray you when we’re together!

In the end, I may have used you, and it hurt you so deeply. But what about the damage you’ve caused me? How can my heart endure it? Over the years, I’ve hoped for us to be together, but reality slapped me hard. The way you treated me when I returned—although I gained you through improper means, it was out of necessity. What I want, no one can take away. I only wish to have you by my side...”

”I’ve told you to shut up, don’t speak such unpleasant words again. You wouldn’t want me to retaliate with hurtful words, would you? Every heart feels pain. You hurt me, so how can I treat you sincerely? Everyone has scars deep within their soul. How can you be sure of all I gave for you? Previously at school, I truly wanted us to be together—I was genuinely moved for you. But in the end, we found our differences were too vast.

You know that everyone’s inner world is different, yet my heart once held a place for you. But because of who you are, the damage you’ve caused—your presence has disappeared. You caused all of this by yourself, so who can you blame? No one in the world owes you. Everything you do, you must bear the consequences alone. I can’t forever be moved by only you. When you left for abroad initially, I let go. I can’t persist in waiting for you my entire life. I simply want to find someone who can accompany me through life. Someone who won’t hurt me or use me for anything—yet you did it all. Do you feel you’re qualified to talk about loving me now? Do you believe you deserve to live with me now?”

The cold wind sweeps through the night, and I can only blame myself for being too naive to escape.