My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1097: Chapter 948: The Voice in the Heart

They never thought there would be a day when they would understand each other so well. Perhaps this kind of life came too suddenly, leaving them overwhelmed. They never imagined that someday they would become like they are now. No one ever thought their own final outcome would be this ugly. Having walked every path they walked, they found themselves increasingly lost, not knowing where they were going. The road they once desired forever lost its way; perhaps their path never lay here. All they ever wanted was a bright road. His mentor gave him too much heartbreak; all he desired was so simple, but in the end, he got nothing.

”Can you wait for a moment and tell Grandpa why you want to ask about Grandma and Grandpa’s issues tonight? Who let you come and ask? If it was your father, then go back and tell him. If he doesn’t believe every word we say to him, then don’t come asking us for any reason anymore. If it was your great-grandfather who chose to let you come ask us, then please give him the same message: some things cannot be explained in a few words. I hope they will stop obsessing over this matter. Grasping it repeatedly without letting go brings no benefit.”

Child, from your attitude, I can tell that no matter what your Grandma and I do, you don’t consider us your family. Our actions indeed bring disappointment to your heart. But do you know how much effort we’ve put in to return to this family over these years? Perhaps others can’t see it at all, but can you see it? You don’t even know what I truly want. Time and again, we’ve given so much, for what? Time and again, we’ve ignored the cost. Is it really just to be hurt by you all again and again?

I know we did things that let you down initially, but now I’ve already changed for the better. I’ve paid heavily for everything I’ve done. So why do you still hold onto this matter without letting go?

Just like you say, you want a peaceful and stable life. Don’t I want that too? I’m human too; I have feelings, I have desires. I also have the heart to contribute to my family. Have you never considered my state of mind at all?

If you were the one who had to face these attacks, if you were the one who repeatedly heard these words from others, if you were the one facing suspicion time and again, and those people were your family who didn’t believe any word you say, then what would you feel inside? Would your inner world truly be at ease?

Can’t we empathize and express our heartfelt thoughts openly? I know what you said to us today reflected your true feelings, but what about us? Do our hearts truly feel no bitterness? Do our hearts truly feel no emotion?

You think we’re too selfish as parents, too inconsiderate as grandparents, but what about you? Have your actions and words considered our dignity? Have you diminished our self-esteem time and again? In your eyes, is our self-esteem really so negligible? I also want a peaceful life; I just want everyone to live happily. I also want to bring joy to everyone. I don’t want to leave you with only painful memories every time. Why do you even want to break this request?

No matter what, the blood flowing in your veins is the same—it’s my blood. The blood flowing in your father’s veins is my blood—he is my biological son. And you? You are his biological son. So doesn’t the blood in your veins also have my blood? Why do you have such ideas? Why do you think these ideas are simply correct? Have you never thought your ideas could be wrong? I’m not the one being attacked over and over—it’s me; I’m part of this family. Are you truly treating us as family with your actions? Maybe never!”

Xia Jing knew her husband was really upset this time. He never spoke these words with tear-filled eyes before. But today, every word he uttered was his heartfelt truth. He kept these feelings inside for so many years and never spoke them, knowing that even if they were said, it would have no effect. However, now he chose to speak them, proving his heart still wants to bet with his family. He wants to bet with heaven, to see what his family’s true hearts are made of. He wants to find out how his family can truly see him as part of the family, rather than repeatedly guarding against him. Otherwise, returning to this family would have no meaning.

”Zhentian, what’s wrong with you today? I know you’re upset, but there’s no need to tell your child these words. Don’t you know saying these things will affect your child’s thoughts? He has endured too much grievance over these years; today he couldn’t hold back and said everything to us at once. It’s not easy for him to express his feelings to us. How can you say this?”

”Grandma, actually Grandpa wasn’t wrong. Every single thing he does is truly for the family. Perhaps my actions today were a little too impulsive!

I didn’t consider how much you can bear emotionally. I just focused on what kind of life I truly want without thinking about what kind of blow you can withstand. Over the years, every family member has told me how you abandoned this family initially, so deep down I have a repulsion towards you. But I never thought this repulsion would lead to this situation. If my words caused any misunderstandings or if my actions today made you misunderstand anything, I sincerely apologize here. I didn’t mean it!

But I am really grateful to you. It was only because of you that I had the chance to express my feelings. These words were buried in my heart for so many years, growing day by day as I matured. I’ve never dared to confide in anyone else, let alone my own parents.

Whenever I mention you to them, deep down, there is always a hesitation. I know they feel uncomfortable too, so I can’t bring up my grandparents in front of them, and definitely can’t tell them about your matters or ask about you. But today, I asked everything buried in my heart face-to-face, and my heart feels genuinely happy and light.

I never thought, someday, I could live so openly and fully express all the questions deep in my heart like this. It feels truly comfortable!”

”Now, recalling the little things from the past, I’m really grateful and appreciative for the fate you’ve given me, allowing me to choose my own life. But ultimately, I let down everyone’s expectations of me. Step by step, I made myself numb and indifferent. I step by step let myself forget all emotions, not valuing family ties, becoming a person ensnared by desires. None of you can understand the painful heartbreak. I only wish for my happiness, but in the end, what did I get? Just repeated opinions and attacks from everyone. I couldn’t bear this pain. How can you ensure I no longer suffer such pain in the future? Likewise, you have no way of changing anything!”

Zhang Yichen found out that his mother here seemed to see the voice of his heart, his thoughts, his actions, and his questions clearly. But who knows ultimately why he does anything?