My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1085: Chapter 937: The Unforgotten Pain

”Perhaps deep down in each of your hearts, you think these pains should be forgotten, but do you know that there are some pains that I can never forget in my lifetime? They are the heaviest burdens in the depths of my soul, buried there forever, never to be shaken off.

Perhaps in your hearts, it’s nothing more than a casual joke, but in my heart, I never see it that way. I am a devoted person, I only wish for the person I love to stay by my side forever, never choosing to abandon me for any reason, but everything I want I cannot have.

Who has ever considered these pains from my perspective? Who can understand the so-called suffering I have endured in my difficult life? I bury everything so-called deep within my heart, I never reveal my feelings to anyone because I know that even if I said everything, it would be futile. Since it’s like this, why not bury all the pain inside myself, never letting anyone know.

In fact, each of us is very similar, always wanting what we cannot have, willing to pay any price for what we can get, as long as it’s a price we can accept. What’s the harm in deciding whether to do it or not? No one has considered what the final result will be, only the distinction between doing or not doing. I once naively thought my ideas were so innocent, that if I just did what I wanted, I would live happily. But as I slowly grew, I realized that all I’ve done is nothing but fleeting clouds. Even if I gave everything, what would it matter? In the end, it’s still the same, no one cares about the kind of pain deep in my heart.

I once naively believed that as long as I worked hard enough, I could receive everything from my family, their concern, and love. But later I realized that no matter what I did, I could never change the outcome I wanted to change. I couldn’t hold on tightly to what I loved. I became numb, afraid of losing everything. My heart cannot bear such any blow or hurt, I just hope to be happy. But the result I get is always a painful and sad one.”

Zhang Yichen never thought he would one day say these words to his father. He always believed that although his father made many mistakes, in his heart, his father would always remain his father. Even if his father became ruthless, Zhang Yichen would never change because it’s a fundamental issue. From the beginning, he only knew what his interests were. He never thought of using family affection to move anyone. All he wanted was a simple life, even if that life seemed sad. But deep in his heart, even the unforgettable pain was something he’d never reveal to anyone.

He thought about what kind of person he would become, never imagining what kind of life he would lead. He never thought of losing his family. Even if all the interests deep in their hearts were more important than anything else, he would never abandon his family. They are the basis of his life. He cannot let his family disappear just like that, he cannot do it. Perhaps in everyone’s heart, his actions seem excessive, naive, or ridiculous. But in his eyes, he believes it’s just a small test from his parents. He doesn’t care how his parents treat him, as long as the end result is perfect, as long as everyone is happy, what does it matter?

”Actually, you don’t need to say those words to me. Even if you say them, the harm you caused me won’t change. All the insults and pain I’ve endured are memories deep within me. I can never forget them in this lifetime. Even if you let everything disappear or return to its initial state, do you know those harms were inflicted on me by you? Those are the consequences bit by bit you created for your own child. You never considered how much torment I suffered back then. I got through it because of my family’s company. My grandfather gave me all the love, he poured all his care for you onto me, and I’m very grateful.

You should know that everyone in this world should live with a heart of reverence. A heart represents each person, and the path they take. Don’t naively assume that others won’t notice everything you do, or if they do, they won’t tell you. That’s because in their eyes, they think it’s all for everyone’s good. But I truly hope for us to be able to face each other honestly and not make such wrong decisions repeatedly. We should have a complete family instead of constant quarrels. That feeling is truly awful. I’ve endured it for so many years, and I can’t accept it any longer. If you really take me as a family member, then please have mercy and spare me once. Don’t let me experience such heart-wrenching pain again. It’s a pain I’ll never forget. I don’t hate you; I will always remember every word you said to me before. Your words are forever etched in my heart. That conversation, I’ll never forget, perhaps you’ve forgotten, but I can remind you.

The things you said made me truly scared. I couldn’t believe that those were words my father could utter, let alone that they came from my family. I couldn’t believe my family would say such cruel, determined words to me in those circumstances, causing me such embarrassment, causing every family member such hurt and pain. I really want to repeat those words you once said, how much they repelled me!”