My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1060: Chapter 913: A Marriage Without Love

”There are some things that I still cannot explain to you. Perhaps everyone once wanted too much, but what I wanted was really very simple, very simple!

From the day you chose to deceive that person, you should have thought that every decision you make would ultimately come with a price.

Every word you utter bears responsibility. Maybe I really needed to grow up. Shifting all the pain onto others, what skill is that? Even if I avoid all responsibility, the day will come when the truth is exposed, and I will have no face to face anyone. Choosing to deceive, again and again, has already destined this outcome, hasn’t it?

In my life, I’ve never regretted any decision. My only regret is not staying by your side back then, to take care of my child, to take care of my father. I just chose myself. I should never have chosen the path to walk the part of life that never belonged to me. I always thought that leaving this family, leaving you, would make me happy, but when I truly left, I realized what real heartache and sorrow meant. Every mistake I ever discovered is forever vivid. I can never forget, especially the moment I left you when you were crying so hard. But I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t stop my steps. I quickened my pace and left home alone.

I believe your grandfather has told you that we left on our own words, swearing never to step into the house again in this life, no matter when or where, and never intending to return no matter what we encountered. But we regretted it shortly after leaving the house. I didn’t expect things would turn out like this. All we ever wanted was a quiet, joyful life, but when everything was beyond our anticipation and imagination, we knew there was no way to take anything back. Perhaps everything I’ve done in this life was always wrong, and never did anything right. I really wish time could reverse. The thing I regret the most in my life is this, and if time could go back, I would certainly have stopped and held you tightly. I would definitely never let you go. At the moment I let you go, my heart wrenched, but I still chose the path I should not have chosen. Do you think that as a mother, I’m really heartless? Why would I choose to leave my child, who was crying like that? Is freedom really that important?”

”Mom, no matter all the mistakes you’ve made before, whether you regret them or not isn’t what matters most to me. What I want to know is how you felt deep inside about every mistake you made. Was there even a moment when you felt you were wrong, even a moment when you felt you shouldn’t treat your child this way? Actually, I do really love you, love you as my mom, love you, and love him as my father. I just hope you could stay by my side a little longer, be with me a bit more, even just a little would be enough. But why can’t I get anything?

Maybe I’ve really been too naive, too gullible, every wrong decision I made ultimately only received unequal treatment in return.

I had once acquired everything I ever wanted, maybe my desires were overly naive, too persistent. I never thought I would end up in this way. Do you know? I just wish you could stay by my side, whether you’ve ever regretted what you did before or not, even just a tiny bit of regret, I don’t care; what I care about is whether you’ll stay by my side now and never leave this family again. Will you continue to bring harm in the future? We really aren’t gods, and we can’t forgive you for the harm and pain you’ve caused time and time again. All we want is a stable life. Perhaps that life is so simple for you, but for me, it’s really difficult. I’ve been hoping for it for over twenty years, waiting from the moment I was born until now.

To be honest, I’m really afraid. I’m afraid everything I’ve been hoping for will only turn into dreams, turn into mirages. I fear that you standing before me now is also just an illusion, and I’m afraid of this kind of ending. This kind of ending makes me persist without any way to accept it. No one truly knows how much psychological torment I’m enduring deep inside. Step by step, I’ve supported myself to this day, but once I thought I could be great and resist all nightmares, I thought through my own efforts, I could forget everything that didn’t belong to me, give up everything. But in the end, I found out that’s not the case.

Now I don’t want anything or ask for anything. I just want my wife to get better soon. I only pray that heaven gives me a miracle, let my wife return to my side, live in my world awake, and never disappear in this life. I really don’t know what attitude I should take to face this kind of ending. I only know that I’m already numb deep inside. Hearing my parents tell me every word, I’m truly touched. Do you know? It’s a genuine feeling of heart. I’m so happy, so joyful, so longing for you to stay by my side for the rest of my life and never leave. Yet, I have no way, no courage to ask you to stay. I’ve always been so arrogant, so conceited. I thought every decision I made would be understood by you in your eyes. But it’s not like that. Because of my arrogance, I let my family leave me time and time again, while I remained unaware.”

Zhang Ni listened as her father and her grandparents here acknowledged their mistakes. She could hardly imagine that one day, she’d witness something like this. Why did the two suddenly become like this now? Were these still her father and her grandparents, who were so disharmonious before? Why, all of a sudden, did they become like this? The change in the world came too swiftly, leaving her unable to react.