My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1081: Chapter 932: No One Understands

”Even though human nature is selfish, I believe that behind the selfishness, there is always something worth protecting for everyone. I used to think that everything I sacrificed, even if none of it was what I truly wanted, at least it was what my family wanted the most. I was willing to protect my family, even if it meant using any means necessary and sacrificing everything, my most precious time. But I didn’t care, yet later on, I slowly found that everything was completely different from what I imagined. Even if I gave everything in exchange for true sincerity, it only led to more hurt in the end.”

”No one ever stood in my shoes to understand my pain. I always thought that if I could live strongly till the end, I could let go of all the past and let everyone live happily in their own lives. But later, I realized that all of these were my mistaken thoughts. Even if I gave everything, what could I get in return? I could never get true care from my family. In your eyes, what else do you have besides your own family? Think about how I, in my view, was willing to give everything for my family, but what about you? You would stop at nothing to achieve your goals for your freedom. In essence, we are different; I do it for my family, whereas you do it for yourselves.”

”Sometimes I can hardly believe my eyes. I can’t believe that everything I see is done by the people I trust the most. I never thought that I would end up like this. Step by step, I walked to where I am now. No one knows how difficult it was. All my pain and sorrow are here. I wanted everything to be completely different from before, but in the end, I got nothing.”

”Over this time, I thought I would get many things. Every day was difficult and painful, but nothing I received was the ending I wanted. I have become numb, unsure of what I truly want. I made myself different from everyone else, believing that if I tried hard, I would be myself in the end, but that wasn’t the case. In others’ eyes, at least I tried once. Later, I found that even if I gave all my effort, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t regain my family’s care for me. My relatives chose to leave and betray me, never stepping into my life again. At that moment, how sore was my heart, and who cared about my situation? I became like this step by step, and who thought about how hard it was for me to give everything I did?”

”Dad, actually, we know what’s in your mind. We know you did everything for us, but have you ever thought about not imposing on us what you don’t want yourself? Do you not understand this principle? If you don’t want something yourself, why impose it on us? We are also people, living people, we are not pets. Deep inside, we also have our emotions. Everything we’ve tried so hard for always symbolizes the deepest desire in our hearts. I don’t want to change my original thoughts because of some matters. I don’t want to become worse. I just hope to live happily, easily, and joyfully. Is that so hard? I never thought I would become so numb thinking back to how everything changed like today.”

”Have you ever thought about how difficult these years have been for me, as everything slowly changed? Again and again, I thought about changing everything about myself. I made so many changes, not for anything else, but so one day we could share the same ideals together. But in the end, I found that even if I gave everything and changed all my directions, what did I get? I got your misunderstanding. No one viewed things from my perspective to understand my pain. It wasn’t easy getting to where I am today. Every day, I wonder how to live my life and how to face everything I should be responsible for to prove myself.”

”Dad, each of us lives different lives every day. Every step we take is different. I just hope we can be the most honest with each other. I don’t want us to become like this now, where everything is different from my thoughts. Do you understand? I just hope everyone can live happily. I just hope everyone lives their own life and does what they really want to do. I don’t want to be like how I am now.”

”You’ve made changes, but haven’t I? Are all the things I’ve done just nonsense? Am I not supposed to have given what I have? Are only your actions correct?”

”In your eyes, is every decision made by others wrong? Isn’t everyone unqualified to do this? Everyone should know the mistakes they have made and how to bear the responsibilities they should take. Have you ever thought about how painful everything you gave has been for me deep inside? I’ve thought again and again, with the greatest tolerance, to forgive my children. Because no matter what, deep inside, you are still my children. No matter how many mistakes you make, I should forgive, but I really can’t. Like before, I can’t not care and let go entirely, not managing any of your affairs. But that’s not the result we want. If I continue to intervene, it will only increase your dislike for me. Ask yourselves honestly, in your heart, have you never hated or disliked me?”

”Such things are happening more and more now. I don’t want the gap between us, father and son, to keep widening. I just hope to give everyone some space, so we can all understand what kind of life we really want. I don’t want to recall all the things you did before. Whenever I remember them, my heart feels like sitting on pins and needles, it hurts so much. I’m scared, scared of being hurt by you again and again, just like how you abandoned me years ago!”