My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1051: Chapter 904: Unrestrained

”Xia Jing, can’t you stop saying things that hurt me inside? You know, deep down I truly love you. I’ve sacrificed a lot for you. You know better than anyone the storms we’ve weathered over the years. Getting to where we are today wasn’t easy. I just hope for more understanding and tolerance between us. Why do you keep choosing to hurt me time and again?

Or do you think that deep down, I’m someone that anyone can be casually with? What have I endured all these years? I can be with you, I can disregard everything for you. I can be indifferent to your actions when you betray me. I only hope you can stay.

But for all that I’ve done for you, what do you take me for? A tool to be used? Think about what you’ve done, is there really not a single mistake in it? I never say it to you because I know that sometimes words are better left unsaid.

Perhaps you think I’ve had it easy these years, quickly achieving my goals. But only I know the real pain. No one can genuinely take it all for me because when we speak, others won’t consider it. Time and again, everything is done just the same way.

Yet today you voiced these things, and deep down I am not happy, not pleased at all. You say these words as if you cared for your son’s inner world, showing even a bit of concern for my dignity, you wouldn’t say such hurtful things today.”

”I didn’t intend to embarrass you, nor did I want to make these words public.

My choice to say all of this today is just to give you a chance to prove yourself. Over the years, you’ve given so much for me. I won’t be reckless like before, judging you alone for all the mistakes. You deserve your own life, all you’ve given should be what we both truly want to see. If I were really that selfish and inconsiderate, I’d never reveal the so-called truth here. Your sacrifices and efforts won’t become nothing. I can’t bring myself to allow others to hurt you like this, to criticize you openly while watching from behind. I’ve borne all the storms behind you; truly, I can’t do that.

In the past, I was too selfish, refusing to admit the harm I inflicted upon you through my actions. I apologize deeply for what I did before, feeling deep regret. But I truly don’t want your future to be spent in such days. Do you know? Each time I listen to my son or grandson criticizing you, deep down I really feel... I don’t understand where that unexplainable heartache springs from. I just wish you peace and happiness, that you smile every day, even carelessly, as long as it brings joy.

You know how many mistakes I’ve made in my life, always giving, hoping only for family happiness and joy. I’ve never considered what I want my life to become; only hoped my loved ones stay happy. I just want those I love and who love me to always be by my side, never leaving, no matter when or where.

When I learned my son wanted me to stay, I was excited, thrilled. At least in my eyes, my son is gradually accepting me. But I never thought it wasn’t like that. Maybe in your eyes, it’s this kind of life; but in his, it isn’t. Our path and theirs differ completely. They can’t lead life step-by-step, whereas ours has long been arranged. If at the start you weren’t rebellious, if I didn’t insist childishly to be with you, do you think we’d have the happiness we have today?”

”Mom, regarding you and dad’s situation, I really don’t want to say anymore, repeating the same words over and over. You know? I also want a happy and simple life. But when she decided to leave me, I knew I was very sad. But have you considered? Without sacrifice, there’s no gain. Sacrifice leads to gain. I’ve never seen it so clearly before. Every decision I’ve made, I know deep inside what kind of situation it brings upon me. I’ve never regretted any mistake I’ve made. All I want is a peaceful life. Maybe that life is different from yours, but do you know? I hope that kind of life persists in my world, never fading away.

I’ve said countless times, even when you abandoned me back then, I never cared. I’ve learned to let go because I must learn to grow. Growth reveals many truths. I’ve seen this matter very clearly. But why in your eyes I can’t seem to reach such progress, why you never believe I’ve truly forgiven you? Or do you think what you’ve done is really unworthy of my pride? If you sincerely repent, even if I don’t wish to forgive now, as soon as I see your efforts to change, someday I will forgive.

Mom, always consider your family’s perspective first. Family is the one who can’t bear any harm; he is the one who loves you with all his heart and soul. If you really miss such a love, how will your future be? Even if you find someone richer and more handsome, sweet words soon become meaningless. When he pursues you, it’s relentless; once achieved, it’s casually discarded. I don’t believe much in love at first sight in the world, but I believe those who experience it are eventually the best partners. Don’t test anyone’s sincerity too much, sincerity cannot withstand tests. As time grows, falsehood replaces truth!”