My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1086: Chapter 938: You Actually Want to Be Strangers

”I said too many things before, I can’t even remember what I said now. I hope you can remind me a little bit, even a tiny bit would make me happy.”

”Actually, some words simply cannot be explained clearly, so why force me to repeat them over and over again? Isn’t that just repeatedly revealing our most cruel wounds, making us face all our hurt and pain again and again?”

Since you’ve forgotten, let me tell you now.

I know all your conversations, I just haven’t told you. Maybe you don’t know, but I know everything about what happened.”

”That day... even if we truly can’t go back, can’t return to the life we had before, at the very least you should have told me. That’s the minimum respect you owe me, isn’t it? You want to return to my family, I have no objections because my son is your son too; you left a descendant for the Zhang Family. But you didn’t need to do this, why didn’t you tell me about it? Do you think what you did makes sense? You hid things like this from me. You can choose not to join me in returning home, you can choose never to contact me again, you can choose never to see me for the rest of your life, but you shouldn’t treat me like this, after all, we were husband and wife sharing the same bed for over ten years!”

Xia Jing couldn’t resist a cold laugh at Zhang Zhentian’s words.

”You, what right do you have to talk about our marital relationship now? Don’t you think the things you did were more cruel than what I did to you? Not just ten times, but a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand times more cruel. Haven’t you thought about the consequences you’d face today when you abandoned me back then? Have you ever considered taking responsibility for everything you’ve done? You’ve never thought about me; you always push the blame onto me, and I’ve never said anything. I always ask Brother Fei, I think of you as my wife; despite being your wife, I could bear things for you, but have you ever thought like that? Maybe you never have, right? Actually, people reciprocate feelings; how you treat me is how I treat you. But my cruelty towards you is far less than one ten-thousandth of your cruelty towards me. During the years with you, I must admit I was very happy. You treated me as a scapegoat from the very start, but I’m still grateful that you enriched my ten-plus years, showing me what true love is. True love is selfless; I’ve fulfilled the essence of love for you, yet now I feel no love for you at all. Everything you’ve done has broken my heart, but I’ve never confronted you because I didn’t want to ruin the harmony between us, nor did I want my parents or my son to be sad again! In all these years with you, I never thought about how I would leave you, how we would separate, how we’d stop being together, until you forcibly took me to the gate of the civil affairs bureau to divorce me. It was then I realized I loved the wrong person; I should never have loved you from the beginning. Loving you caused me endless pain, taught me what true suffering is; my love for you never changed, but your love for me has long since lost its meaning. Actually, you should understand one thing: if a relationship is mixed with any other meaning, no matter how rich it starts, it will never end well. I didn’t know what purpose or state your feelings for me originally had, but gradually I found out; you weren’t happy or joyful being with me. You found me nagging every day, always managing your life. But you don’t understand, as a woman, if she doesn’t manage her man’s daily life, she definitely doesn’t love him. For you, I’ve proven how deeply I love you, yet ultimately you’ve still harmed my heart for you. You’ve never considered why I loved you so deeply?”

”Why love me so deeply? Wasn’t it for my family’s money? Don’t you think the world talks about how noble your soul is, how proud your demeanor is? But after living with you for over ten years, I know exactly what kind of woman you are. Aren’t your eyes still focusing on gains? Without profits, you think everything is meaningless. You’re accustomed to self-hypnosis, always feeling that everything is the best, yet you don’t understand what kind of wife I truly need. I want a wife not who constantly manages my personal space but who stands up for me when I need it the most...”

”Ask yourself honestly, during the time we were together, when you had difficulties, did I not stand up for you? Time and time again, I was willing to go through fire and water for you, without hesitation. But you? Time and time again, you treated me as your scapegoat. Whatever wrongs you committed, you made me bear them. Have I said anything unwilling? I’ve never uttered a word of unwillingness, because I believed one day I’d be able to touch you, would let you see from your heart that I truly love you and really want to be with you, without any mixed feelings. But in the end, I found out I was wrong. No matter how I try to please you, how sincerely I treat you, how wholeheartedly I give to you, you never treated me as your person at the pillow. You kept using me repeatedly. I have nothing to say; I am your wife, so I should be used by you, but can you consider the feelings of a wife? I don’t know, in your eyes, whether your so-called wife is just a tool for carrying on the family line or something else? But at the very least, you should respect women, shouldn’t you? Every decision you made injured the person who loves you most; didn’t you know? You’ve never considered me in every decision you make. Do you know? This makes my heart extremely painful; many times I just wanted to quietly be with you, only wanted a life of peace and simplicity, didn’t care about wealth, fame, and fortune. But you always assumed I was with you for your family’s money. I’ve never said this sentence, because I didn’t want to say it. I felt that once it was spoken, there’d truly be no possibility for us. But today, I’ve finally resolved to leave you, so these words, there’s nothing difficult to say anymore. Since I’ve said all these words here, doesn’t it prove that there will be no possibility for us anymore? I hope you never disturb my life again. We will quietly live our own lives from now on, when we meet again we’ll just be strangers...”

”Do you still remember all the things you said back then? If you’ve forgotten, I’ve reminded you now, and I hope you’ll never forget. These words you said back then were truly unacceptable to me in my heart!”