My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1091: Chapter 943: Unforgettable

”I remember I once told you all that I would never regret the paths I chose myself. During that time, you seized my vulnerabilities, only thinking about how to tear down everything I said. But do you know, during that period, my life was still very difficult, yet I chose to say nothing. I believe as long as I put in the effort, no matter how difficult, I can still step by step make my way towards my own grand life journey.”

”Back then, you all treated me like this...”

”Since we’ve come this far now, I want to ask you a question. I want to hear your true thoughts. From the beginning, did you truly love me? Were you genuinely willing to spend a lifetime with me without any hidden agendas? Did you endure so much for me out of pure devotion? In the years we’ve been together, have you felt that I sincerely love you?”

”Now that things have reached this stage, do you think asking me these questions holds any meaning? Knowing full well that I will give an answer that will make you heartbroken and desperate, yet you still insist on bringing up these issues, you might ask why. Isn’t this making your own life a mess? Isn’t each of us wanting a simple and happy life? Yet in your family, this wish seems an unrealistic luxury, unattainable. In my marriage, what I really wanted was just peace for my family, for us to live happily together. But in the end, I found that it was all just a mirage!”

”Zhentian, you understand well in your heart why we have come to this point. You are clearer than anyone else about the hardships we’ve endured to achieve what we have now. But ultimately you’ve realized that the person beside you was never your true love. If it were you in my place, knowing this answer, what would you think? Wouldn’t it hurt your heart? Wouldn’t you feel disheartened for putting in so much effort with no return?”

”Being with you brought me the most joy and happiness. Those ten years together with you, every smile I showed was genuine. That smile wasn’t fake. Those times were truly happy for me, even if occasionally we bickered, I felt it was something all couples had to go through, and considered it happiness. But only now have I realized that everything was just my wishful thinking; your heart never intended to grow old with me. I don’t know if, back then, you ignored everything and went against your father for me. I don’t know if that was real or not. But I am still grateful for the love you have given me over the years. For me, you’ve lost your relationship with your father and haven’t been able to be with him. Your heart must have been painful, right?”

”Sometimes I act like this, knowing full well that stepping forward will cause me unbearable pain, perhaps wounds that can never heal. Yet I still move forward regardless, because I want to explore a new path in life for myself. I cannot retreat; retreating means admitting I’m a coward, weak and powerless. If I were such a person, why would I exist in this world, wasting time and resources, making myself feel uncomfortable?”

”So let’s not ask about right or wrong; we no longer have the trust we used to. Without that trust, we are unfit to live together. Having decided to separate completely, we should not try to hold onto each other. That will only create awkwardness, making us unsure of which path to choose. Clearly there are two paths laid before us, one a bright avenue, the other a deep abyss of pain. Every time, I step into the painful abyss. But the one correct choice I made was marrying you; that was my path of sunshine.”

”Actually, your heart still has a place for me, doesn’t it? Clearly, you care for me, so why treat me like this? You know, every time I struggle in pain and despair, wondering when I can escape this shadow, yearning for when I can openly walk towards my happy life path. But in the end, I found no matter how hard I try, that there’s no way to overcome the fear buried within my heart.”

”I truly don’t want you to leave me. If you leave, how painful it’ll be for me. But have you become happy after leaving me? Watching you happy, even if I am left to struggle in the abyss of pain for a lifetime, I’d feel content. I’ve given the woman I love the freedom and happiness she desired. Seeing her smile from her heart after leaving me, brings a sense of accomplishment I can’t explain. Even if the pain is something I bear alone, I will continue to struggle within that pain and despair, striving to carve out my own life path that will no longer change for anyone. I won’t divert from it due to any person. I know I was too timid which made you passive, but now I have learned to act bravely and take initiative. Yet you choose to leave me ruthlessly. It makes me feel all my efforts amount to nothing. Maybe we need to separate to clearly understand what we truly want. Perhaps we will reunite after years, I’m always waiting for that day. I believe that day will come soon because I trust you still love me, but your hatred for me surpasses your love, so you buried your love deep within. I believe that I can make you love me again and keep that love safe at the core of my heart. I will not let it slip again.”

Xia Qiu’s heart is filled with reluctance. Seeing her husband’s face full of pain, she desperately wants to agree to stay by his side. Even if he never finds joy, she’s willing to gamble her lifetime of happiness on this chance. But recalling her past grievances, why must she always be the one to bow down? Why must she always endure the hurt and anguish, while he remains oblivious to her sincere intentions? Why does she seem so insignificant in his heart? Even though she truly loves him, she had no choice but to bury her deepest thoughts. Only this way can she truly strengthen herself, to avoid being hurt by others again.

”I will never forget the supposed hurt from that time.”