ShangriLa Frontier ~ Shitty Games Hunter Challenges Godly Game ~

The good thing about this game is that there is no time limit for battle except for those battles with the Raid Monsters, but the bad thing about this game is that there is no time limit for battles other than those with the Raid Monsters.

Yes, that’s right. The time. This battle started around 1 a.m, and the current time was around 3:30 a.m. And yes, we were still struggling against the Golden Age, and it doesn’t seem that we are going to end this fight anytime soon!

And we have already managed to hit it with Sigma’s Class Eight Armaments about ten times or so…… But still, the Golden Age still seemed to be alive and kicking. Its tough. Terrifyingly so. Not to mention that the stupid fuck managed to take out one of my arms in the process!

And since the only source of strong enough firepower here was Sigma’s Class Eight Armaments, this means that we could strike an effective hit once every fifteen minutes, with the time in between those strikes spent on running away and dodging. But this also meant that at the current moment Sigma was considered to be the greater threat in the eyes of the Golden Age. So that means that more often than not this fucker would straight up ignore me and go right after Sigma.

「However…… Fufufufu, I feel like after the next one I’m going to have a little breather, right?」

We managed to hit it with Pile Bunker three times. Then there was an Electric Saw two times. Then there was Photothermal Blade two times. And then there was Heat Blade two times. Needless to say, vast majority of those attacks were directed at Golden Age’s “Holy Sword”, so I would assume that its tail would now be close to its limit. And there is also one other assumption: if I give it one more push, it should finally break and fall to pieces, right?

However, with time Golden Age’s behavioral patterns started to change, most probably because this thing was actually learning the attack patterns of the people that were trying to get it. The movement of Its Majesty the King, which has changed to a maneuver style that was trying to preserve the “Holy Sword” as much as possible and was actively moving around in such a way that would allow it to attack using the Sword Scissors as much as possible. That was really troublesome. I was actually starting to get sick of this monster moving in such an obnoxious way, and I don’t know about Sigma, but I was really starting to think that it should be about time to wrap those things up.

I have found that out only after fighting for another two hours, but the experience of the Ice Cream proved to be extremely useful in here. It’s official name was “Dolce Fairy ☆ Scramble Ice Cream!” …… Commonly abbreviated to “DobIce”. If it was an indie game, it would have been a hardcore bullet hell shooter that you would have never actually thought that it would be something like that from the cute-sounding title alone.

Even if it says indie, it seems that it is made by several former employees of a previously crushed big—shot company, and I think it was a kind of self-promotion up until now …… Also, when it comes to the game itself, I obviously chose the evil route in it, because it was way more overpowered than the other ones, and when it comes to shitty games the gameplay balance is something that is pretty much non-existent. Perhaps there was way too few staff members who could take care of it in time, but the finished product seemed to be surprisingly okay. So yes, overall it was a pretty interesting of an indie gem when it comes to the circle of shitty games.

「Watch out!! That was way too close!?」

The main character in that game was named Dolce Fairy Ice Cream-chan, and the plot was that she was on her way to see her lover Pudding-chan while having to cross various fields, mountains, rivers, etc…… However, the longer the Ice Cream-chan takes to get her, the more she starts to melt. In other words, it is a time attack game in which an ice cream with insect-like wings (she is not anthropomorphic, she is but a single round ice cream) runs through the hot summer sun while risking her life to meet her long lost lover.

「Hey, I’m the one you want! Eyes on me! So don’t you dare to look elsewhere while I am still here!」

By the way, do you happen to know what is wrong with indie shitty game industry nowadays? The answer is simple: it’s filled with oddly personal productions, so it can get pretty weird at times and things can get really messy really fast. In this game, Ice Cream-chan can scream with a voice that is the voice of the main character, and even if you listen to it again, you can only hear it as the falsetto of the old man.

There was even Ice Cream-chan screaming: “Destiny, go fuck yourseeeeeelffffff!!!” in a loud gangster-like voice of an old man. So yeah, once you hear that, you can never actually hope to un-hear it. Like, ever again.

「God damn it!! Why!? Won’t!? You!? Break!? To!? Pieces!? Already!?」

Then Ice Cream-chan (for the time being) exhales with a voice similar to that of an old salaryman who just happened to take a dip in a hot spring after a long day at work. (Even though she is supposed to be a young girl) Just that fact alone should melt her into an ice cream puddle, but for some mysterious reason it only served to restore her depleted Endurance gauge. But you know why that’s okay? Because she’s a fairy. So she’s bound to operate outside of logic and

「Don’t make me use the same overpowered tricks over and over again!!」

Then Ice Cream-chan sneaks into a restaurant to get herself some nice Tempura Armor, but ultimately ends up throwing herself into the scorching pot of boiling oil, and shouts “Ogoooaaahhhhh! Guuuhhhh!!! GAAAAAAHHHHHH!! And guess what? You would think that the voice changer would start hitting its limits soon, right? Wrong! Think again! It’s that old man’s voice once more!