Urban Martial Saint

Ye Qing said, ”Because I didn’t use the door.”

”Didn’t use the door?” The fat man looked even more surprised and said, ”Didn’t use...what door?”

Ye Qing walked over, casually pulled open the curtain, and said, ”I climbed in through the window.”

Only then did the fat man see that the window was wide open, and he suddenly realized.

”Damn, scared the hell out of me!” The fat man patted his chest, still frightened, and said, ”I thought I’d seen a ghost, but it turned out you climbed in through the window. Why the hell didn’t you say so earlier? You almost gave Fat Lord a heart attack!”

This time it was Ye Qing’s turn to be dumbfounded; he didn’t expect this fat man’s nerves to be so strong. Caught red-handed in a burglary, yet he was so calm? Typically, wouldn’t a thief be trying to find a way to escape?

”Hey, you know you’re stealing, right?” Ye Qing said, ”If I call the police, you’d be looking at spending at least a year or two inside.”

”Cut it out!” The fat man sneered and said, ”If you really call the police, who’ll end up inside is hard to say.”

Ye Qing immediately furrowed his brow and said, ”Why, do you have connections here in Liaoshen City?”

”No, Fat Lord isn’t from Liaoshen City.” The fat man said, ”But think about it, your sword is considered an artifact, right? If you really call the police, your illegal possession of cultural relics might be judged more severely than me.”

Ye Qing couldn’t help but widen his eyes; no wonder this fat man wasn’t worried at all.

”Didn’t expect you to know the law?” Ye Qing said with a hint of sarcasm.

The fat man said, ”I didn’t before, but after being caught a few times, I learned a bit.”

”Caught a few times?” Ye Qing was even more startled; this fat man was actually a seasoned offender?

”Not afraid to tell you, Fat Lord used to be a tomb raider.” The fat man said casually, ”Handled more artifacts than you’ve ever seen. I’ve been to the police station a few times and picked up some legal knowledge along the way.”

Ye Qing instantly understood; so this fat man learned the law from experience. Ye Qing had thought the guy was cultured before.

”Since you were a tomb raider, why come to steal my stuff?” Ye Qing paused and said seriously, ”Also, since you were a tomb raider, why are you afraid of ghosts?”

”You don’t get it, do you?” The fat man said, ”It’s precisely because I used to be a tomb raider that I’m afraid of ghosts. Haven’t you heard the saying: ’If you’ve never done anything wrong, you won’t fear ghosts knocking at midnight.’ Fat Lord raided so many tombs, truly afraid of ghosts knocking at my door in the middle of the night.”

Ye Qing was at a loss for words; this fat man chit-chatted so confidently, seemingly not worried at all. How could he act so unconcerned when caught in the act of burglary? Is he so confident or just too careless to worry?

”As for stealing your stuff, that’s a complicated story.” The fat man said, ”I dislike beating around the bush, so I’ll keep it brief. An old bastard came to me, offering billions for me to steal your sword. So I came over. Damn, didn’t expect you to be so capable; Fat Lord raided tombs for years without being caught by any tomb owner. Didn’t think I’d get caught the first time stealing from a living person. I told that old bastard that mismatched specialties lead to mistakes, but he insisted, made me take a deposit, damn it, really screwed me over.”

Listening to the fat man’s words, Ye Qing almost burst out laughing; this guy was quite amusing. Here he was, stealing, and still worrying about mismatched specialties. And what he just said—never caught by a tomb owner when raiding graves—isn’t that a given? How could a tomb raider get caught by the tomb owner? If caught by a tomb owner, wouldn’t that be seeing ghosts?

”Who is this old bastard you mentioned?” Ye Qing tried to remain serious, but deep down, he wasn’t angry at the fat man.

The fat man shrugged and said, ”I don’t know who he is.”

”You don’t know who he is, yet you took his job?” Ye Qing glared and said.

”I said I wouldn’t take it, but that old bastard insisted on giving me a deposit. Said if I didn’t take it, he’d report my past tomb-raiding. Damn, I wanted to catch that old bastard and beat him up, but he was as slippery as an eel, not only disappeared but also blocked my home’s drain. I couldn’t stay at home, afraid he’d report me, bored with nothing to do, so I came here to play.” The fat man shrugged and said, ”Besides, I raided so many dead people but never raided a living one, just wanted to try something new. Stealing from the living is really different from stealing from the dead; I think I should stick to the old trade!”

Ye Qing heard the fat man’s words and, for some reason, suddenly felt this old bastard in his mouth resembled someone. He looked at the fat man and said, ”What does this old bastard look like?”

”Oh my gosh, you’re asking the right person!” The fat man immediately perked up and said, ”Let me tell you, that old bastard has such distinctive features. The guy, most remarkably, has long hair, parted in the middle, and who knows how much mousse he uses. Once it dries, the mousse turns into powder; his head full of dandruff. Yet he keeps his hair neatly parted, slicked to either side like a military parade, not a strand out of place. The hairstyle itself is quite visually striking, but coupled with his sleazy look, makes him look like a traitor or lackey with that fit hair.

Upon hearing this, Ye Qing already knew who the fat guy was talking about. This bastard Old Wang Ba actually went and found someone to steal the Seven-Star Ancient Sword. What’s he playing at? And he even found a tomb robber; what’s that supposed to mean? Playing cat and mouse with Ye Qing?

”How much deposit did he give you?” Ye Qing suddenly asked. That old guy Old Wang Ba doesn’t have any money; can he really spend money to hire a thief?

”Can we not talk about this?” the fat guy said, a bit embarrassed.

”What’s wrong?” Ye Qing asked in surprise, ”How much deposit did he actually give you?”

The fat guy hesitated a bit, stretched out five fingers, and said nothing.

”Five hundred thousand?” Ye Qing was surprised. Since when did Old Wang Ba have so much money?

”Too much,” the fat guy shook his head and said.

”Fifty thousand?” Ye Qing asked curiously.

”Still too much.”

”Five thousand?” Ye Qing’s eyes widened. Could it really be worth it for the fat guy to travel so far for five thousand yuan? That fat guy’s not worth much, is he?

”Still too much.”

”Damn, then... is it five hundred?” Ye Qing’s eyes were about to pop out; this fat guy wasn’t worth much, was he?

”If only it were five hundred!” the fat guy said angrily. ”That old bastard just gave me fifty as a deposit. And he discussed this with me at a restaurant. Not only did he just give me a fifty-yuan deposit, but I even paid for that lunch myself. The meal cost over two hundred yuan. Damn it, I made a trip to Liaoshen City, and the round-trip fare was over a thousand. Staying in a hotel costs over two hundred a day, add in all the meals and everything, I’m almost at a loss by grandma’s place!”

Ye Qing was all confused; for a deposit of fifty yuan, was it necessary to make such a fuss to come to Liaoshen City to steal something?

”Fifty yuan deposit, and you came all this way?” Ye Qing curled his lips and said, ”You deserve it. If it were me, I wouldn’t even have taken this deposit. This isn’t a deposit; it’s a slap in the face.”

”I originally didn’t want to take it, but that old bastard really had some ideas. He gave me a card saying all the deposit was on the card,” the fat guy said helplessly. ”I thought, there must be quite a bit of money, otherwise why put it on a card? So, I was so happy that I even paid for lunch. Who knew, damn it, there was only fifty yuan on the card. And that fifty yuan can’t even be taken out at an ATM. I queued for over an hour and went to the counter to deposit fifty to take it out. Oh my God, I don’t even want to talk about it, it’s so embarrassing!”

”Since there was only that much money on the card, why did you come?” Ye Qing asked curiously.

”I didn’t want to come either, but that old bastard said if I didn’t come, he’d say I took the deposit and didn’t work, completely ruining my reputation. Think about it, in this line of work, getting orders and such all rely on trust. If someone really slandered your reputation outside, how would you survive in the future?” The fat guy paused and said, ”I saw that this old bastard isn’t much capable, but he’s definitely not short on shameless tricks. If he really wanted to tarnish my name, he might actually succeed. So, I had no other choice but to go to work. And I thought, even if your sword isn’t worth billions, it should at least be a relic, sell for hundreds of thousands or something; I wouldn’t lose then. But I didn’t expect you to be so vigilant that even Fat Lord couldn’t steal from you!”

The fat guy sighed, actually more angry about being tricked by Old Wang Ba than worrying about getting caught.

Ye Qing was rendered speechless by this fat guy; this was the first time he had encountered such a weird thief. The fat guy was really optimistic, getting caught as a thief and still having time to chat, his psychological fortitude was something else.

After chatting with the fat guy for a while, Ye Qing really didn’t plan on doing anything to him. Instead, he was curious about Old Wang Ba, what trick was this old guy up to, sending someone to steal his Seven-Star Ancient Sword? What’s going on?

”He just asked you to steal something, didn’t say anything else?” Ye Qing asked curiously.

”Oh, you know, now that you mention it, I do recall something,” the fat guy said. ”That old bastard also said, if I fail at stealing, not to worry, you definitely wouldn’t do anything to me.”

Ye Qing was speechless; Old Wang Ba really understood him. Ye Qing really didn’t plan on doing anything to the fat guy.

”Plus, he also sent me with a message for you,” the fat guy suddenly said.

”What message?” Ye Qing immediately perked up.