My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1368: Chapter 1191: Losing Hope

Hope always disappears unintentionally, before you even have a chance to react to it all being gone.

Old Master Zhang heard his grandson say these touching words, and his heart was truly moved and gratified. It proved that all these years of doting on his grandson were not wasted. He had truly taught his grandson how to conduct himself and deal with the world, which was his greatest pride. He never imagined there would come a moment when he would feel so gratified.

Throughout his life, he had been through so much, faced many changes, and had no time to experience these things. Yet, they made his life so rich and colorful. Everything would ultimately change because of any single person, but he never thought his grandson would remain true to his original intentions after so many years. He always remembered the vows he had made, and no matter where he went, he would firmly remember his mission. He never forgot the things he wanted most deep down in his heart, nor the vows he swore to fulfill so that one day he could succeed, bringing greater comfort to his heart.

”Child, you know you are the most filial child in the world. Over the years, you have done so many things, and even your heart knows it, but you never thought about giving up on your actions. You always keep the vows you made deep in your heart and hold everything you care about there very dearly. Do you know?

When your grandfather heard you say such words today, how happy and joyful he was, though perhaps he never had any means to reach the peak in this lifetime. You saying such words made grandfather proud because I taught a child as perfect as you.

Never compare yourself to others, for others might not be what you aspire to become. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Blindly following others’ footsteps will ultimately leave you directionless, not knowing what to do repeatedly. Everyone has the truest thoughts deep down, unwilling to change themselves for others. If this is true, then truly you have wasted your entire lifetime, and it is really hard to live. But what can be done just to survive?

You can only strive to grow repeatedly, and only then will you not live so arduously, so heartweary.

You also believe that you’ve gone through too many storms in this lifetime. You can’t forget the hardships and tears you once experienced, making every step to this day so laborious. How could you be willing to let others outshine you, pulling you down? You also want to reach the pinnacle of life; you want to live happily. You’re not someone who idles around. Since childhood, you’ve known that you’re a person of great ambition who won’t hesitate to put in every effort to achieve your goals. It’s because of this that grandfather devoted all his efforts to cultivating you, subjecting you to rigorous training repeatedly.”

Old Master Zhang turned to Zhang Zhentian and continued, ”You as parents are really ruthless. Your own child hasn’t returned to be with her in all these years, you know how hard her life was?

Did you ever see with your own eyes how he trained so hard to avoid hardships, streaming with sweat and tears? Do you know how his body endured suffering, how blood would flow uncontrollably when he was hurt, and he’d fiercely endure the pain inside, his face contorted in agony, yet he didn’t want anyone to see his pained expression because he knows, in this world, no one can help him, only his own heart’s strength can.

He showed me through his actions that maybe he won’t live his life in happiness, but because he put in all his efforts to reach his goals, he has no regrets; this is his greatest achievement. You’ve never felt this sense before since you’ve never thought about risking everything for your family. In your eyes, you can be without anything except your freedom, you’re just too selfish and self-centered, making me almost unable to believe that you’re really my biological son and daughter-in-law.

Sometimes, I really want to tell you, if you had even a little filial piety, why not choose to come back home to see me?

If even a smidgen of guilt lingers in your hearts, why choose to wander outside time and again instead of staying by my side to accompany me? That’s a kind of indelible pain for me. I’m an old man, your father, but how can you bear to leave me here alone and hand your son over to me while you wander freely outside? You’ve lived outside for so long, are you truly happy?

Have you really achieved everything you wanted?

Although I always knew you would regret your actions one day, I didn’t expect that day to come so quickly. You’ve never considered exactly what was wrong with your actions, only constantly seeking others’ forgiveness, as if others owe you anything, as if they should forgive you time and again!

Making you repeatedly commit all these things, others would only think you’re someone beyond help, hanging onto life. Who knows you’re an utterly incorrigible person...”

”Dad, I already know my mistakes, please stop saying these things to me. I know the biggest mistake I made was leaving my son, choosing to seek the freedom I thought I deserved outside.

It’s because of my actions that my tone is now so awkward, because no one has understood my thoughts and no one knows how much pain I felt in leaving those years, no one will understand my feelings of guilt inside. I’ve been entangled by these for so many years, never forgetting for one moment, as my heart knows, if I forget this guilt, then I would fall into a deep abyss of pain...”

Many things are not resolved just by words. After giving your all, all your efforts, what you want can still be so hard to achieve; when you look back, you realize it was just a form of training on yourself, the truest feeling to yourself.