My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1352: Chapter 1178: Hatred?

Who hasn’t hated someone before, who doesn’t know that everything they do makes themselves live in agony, yet still can’t help but hate?

This is life, losing the most cherished things again and again, only to realize how much you cared about them all along. When you had them, no one ever thought about what kind of outcome they would bring. Why is everyone always so selfish, disregarding others’ comfort for their own ideas?

Throughout life, there are bound to be moments when you encounter great and magnanimous things, but ultimately all you gain are these pains. Some people give everything time and again, but no one knows how they truly spent their lives.

Who has pondered how they have spent this lifetime? People endure agony time and again, who has thought about how to bear all this? The continuous, lethal blows, and the newest pains, who knows? During the day, one numbs oneself with work, but what can numb you in the dead of night? Longing grows deeper with time until gradually, one becomes a mere shell of a person, not knowing what one should obtain. No one knows what fate one will endure in this life.

Maybe life is just like this. Having undergone so much suffering, one will ultimately experience love and separation. But who truly knows how they have gotten through this life? Throughout life, once again wrestling with countless sorrows and pains, who knows what kind of hurt they will encounter? Everyone’s life is like this, yet one will ultimately cause themselves inexplicable suffering due to their actions, trapping themselves in a deep abyss of pain. Everyone is like this, but who knows what kind of life will satisfy them?

Many people’s hearts are inherently greedy; some will stop at nothing to harm those they love the most for their own gain. Yet some are willing to give everything time and again for those they love the most.

Zhang Zhentian truly doesn’t know how to persuade his wife. He knows she is deeply engulfed in a pit of misery, unable to extricate herself. No one can save her. He wakes time and time again from nightmares in the dead of night; she turns her life into such decisions over and over, hurting herself repeatedly, just to wait for that person in her heart to turn back, to accompany her even for just a day. Is the human heart really so fragile? Why can’t it withstand the washing of time? Time changes everything, making it trivial and fragile.

Xia Jing also understood Zhang Zhentian’s thoughts. After all, being partners in marriage for so many years, how could they not have any mutual understanding? If there is no fundamental understanding, then what is the meaning of living together for so long? Even if they aren’t together because of love, after so many years of married life, a relative understanding would certainly accumulate. In fact, those who understand you the most may not be your friends but your enemies. You might not understand yourself, but do you know how well those who are with you understand you? They are willing to spend half their lives just to one day bring you down, to completely crush you. But you don’t understand that their understanding of you might actually help you. It’s always hard to return true feelings, and only when you are wounded and tormented repeatedly, do you realize that it all was just empty.

”Xia Jing, maybe you can’t listen to anything I say right now, but I want you to know, as your husband, I would never hurt you.

All these years, have you really not felt my sincere love for you at all? I’ve given so much for you over these years, haven’t you felt anything?”

”The greatest pain in this world is perhaps watching helplessly as the ones you love the most leave you, month by month, person by person, abandoning you. Yet, you can only stand there powerless. No one can truly understand the pain I’ve held in my heart all these years, who can truly comprehend it? While you all think my selfishness only involves prioritizing my own concerns over others’ opinions, do you know? Every time you face me, how uncomfortable I feel inside. Every time you speak words of blame to me, how innocent I feel. I yearn for a joyful life too, but I just can’t!

I’ve given too much over the years but received nothing for myself. I’ve given everything, only to receive his indifference in return. Do you know how speechless that makes me feel? Exhausted, sometimes I wish to close my eyes and never wake up again, sometimes I wish for permanent hibernation, to never be able to live a joyful life again. I just want to sleep forever and never wake up, yet each time I open my eyes, I find myself in the abyss of my darkness, unable to see my own hand. Do you know that darkness? That emptiness? No one knows!”

”You always think your pain is the greatest in the world and that no one could possibly understand it, but are you aware there are others who endure such pain as well? Who hasn’t gone through pain and emerged stronger? Although this might leave one scarred and devoid of happiness, do you realize how much I care, how much I hope you could stay with me, just like you wish the one you love could stay with you? In the deep night, the feeling of loneliness and defeat repeatedly shatters my heart...”

Maybe once I hated you all, but now I truly don’t hate anymore!