Global Lords: Me and My Calabash Kiddos

Chapter 67: Chapter 59: 2 Celestial Dao Stones

”Show me how you roll. I wanna see your moves.” Since the guy was destined to be an enemy, Yi Tian didn’t bother being polite to this Mercenary.

This Mad Ape wasn’t actually some ape-man. Except for being over two meters tall, he wasn’t much different from a human, and without his Celestial Dao Stone giving info, Yi Tian had no clue what species he was.

”Looking for death!” Mad Ape pulled a giant machete from his back and charged straight at Yi Tian.

”Whoosh...”

Yi Tian drew his bow and nocked an arrow in one smooth motion. He could only pull it halfway, but it was still enough to pierce anyone with Physique below 500.

And Mad Ape’s strength definitely hadn’t reached B-level yet.

Mad Ape reacted a bit; he tried blocking the arrow with his machete, but the arrow was so powerful, he only managed to deflect it slightly—the machete got sent flying.

In the end, the arrow nailed Mad Ape’s shoulder—non-fatal.

”Argh...”

Yi Tian’s arrows were pure steel, with alloy steel tips infused with special metals, plus the arrowhead was twice as big as normal—extra sharp.

When this kind of arrow hit a living creature, pulling it out left a bloody hole.

Yi Tian was a bit annoyed—this Mad Ape actually had some skills, dodging the fatal shot.

He thought Mad Ape was gonna whip out his Celestial Dao Stone and run, but then Mad Ape’s next move left Yi Tian stunned.

”Pshhh...”

”Ah...”

Mad Ape dropped his machete, grabbed the steel arrow with his right hand, and yanked it out, bloody and brutal.

Mad Ape roared, his face twisted with pain.

The blood-red arrowhead was still clutching a bit of torn flesh. Yi Tian had to admit, he kinda respected the move.

”Kid, die! Failure’s not in my dictionary!” Mad Ape bellowed, charging at Yi Tian again.

His momentum suddenly exploded; if he was just mid-level C before, now he’d broken through to late-stage C-level.

Yi Tian knew Mad Ape was a talent holder—he’d just activated his talent, going all in.

”Since you don’t do failure, I’ll give you death then. Celestial Ice Palm!”

Yi Tian slung his bow and channeled his spiritual qi. Ice Soul gathered in his palm as he pressed it toward Mad Ape.

But even with his talent active, Mad Ape couldn’t change the fact he was already wounded.

He saw the icy palm flying at him; his pupils shrank.

No way to dodge, so he just punched straight at the giant icy palm.

”Bang!”

Mad Ape shattered the Ice Soul palm, but staggered back a few steps, blood dripping from his mouth.

No way to win!

He’d acted tough and now totally regretted it. Just as he was about to grab his Celestial Dao Stone to teleport away, a salvo of Ice Soul palms rained down on him.

Ice is water at its toughest. Mad Ape hadn’t even touched his Celestial Dao Stone when a palm hit him square on.

His hand was just reaching for his pocket, but right then, his blood and veins were frozen solid.

He thought he’d do the hero thing—take one hit, then bail out with teleport.

But he seriously underestimated the savage poison of Celestial Ice Palm.

This was Mad Ape’s last conscious thought—then four palms in quick succession slammed into him.

After four solid hits, a layer of ice crystals enveloped Mad Ape.

His face froze in a moment of agony.

And his eyes showed utter disbelief.

No way to process it!

”Boom!”

Mad Ape’s towering body toppled like an ice sculpture.

”Mercenary, help me!”

While Yi Tian was dealing with Mad Ape, the fight on the other side had cleared up—the employer got caught out by the Wolf-headed People’s opening and was getting owned, barely able to hold out, completely on the defensive.

Yi Tian, standing tall as a Qi Refiner, had just slain Mad Ape—his employer was over the moon.

The Wolf-headed People, meanwhile, were freaking out. He’d used a Mist Scroll to enter this territory—retreat was never an option.

Just like when Yi Tian entered Shan Dashan’s territory yesterday, the Celestial Dao Stone had warned Wolf-headed People: no scroll teleporting inside a Lord’s domain.

Yi Tian thought this rule was totally fair. You gotta own your actions. Otherwise, everyone would just bounce if they lost—way too shameless.

”Whoosh...” Worried the employer would get clubbed to death by Wolf-headed People, Yi Tian drew his bow and fired at him.

The Wolf-headed People had been keeping an eye on Yi Tian; when he saw the bow come up, he felt a chill down his spine.

He instantly dropped his attack and tried to run.

But he’d barely turned when an arrow buried itself in his chest—no way to dodge, too slow...

His life slipped away in seconds...

”Mercenary, thank you!” The employer leaned on his spear, panting, and thanked Yi Tian.

”No need. You pay, I solve your problems. Gotta admit though, pretty sharp move hiring mercenaries to fight back. In this Great Thousand Worlds, there are plenty of folks with Mist Scrolls—sooner or later, something big’s gonna attract them, and the fangs come out.” Yi Tian replied vaguely.

Celestial Dao Stone!

Once its secret got out, Lords in the Celestial Dao World would be at each other’s throats nonstop.

”I helped you kill off Wolf-headed People. Plus his Mercenary. I’ll take their Celestial Dao Stones, alright?” Yi Tian didn’t care about the employer’s confused look, already digging two Celestial Dao Stones off Wolf-headed People and Mad Ape.

”That’s fair!” The employer had no clue what Dao Stones did, just responded heartily. Plus, they’d agreed before, so he couldn’t back out anyway.

”Alright! Catch you later.”

After a casual goodbye, Yi Tian transported back to his territory.

”Mission complete. This mission’s level was C-level. Mercenary: Second in the World, 178 missions completed, 100% success rate.”

Back in his territory, Yi Tian kept expanding the farmland. Including the new high-level woodland, he now had 3,000 more acres to play with.

Once he made some serious cash, if profit dried up, he’d just convert a huge chunk of farmland into high-level forest zone.

The auction house was out of saplings—only adult trees left. Give it some time, just cut a branch and bury it for rooting.

”These 3,000 acres I’ll use for veggie planting. Once the Advanced Soil finishes another cycle, there’ll be enough veggie seeds.”

Veggies yield way more per acre than grains.

Like this world’s Chinese cabbage—one acre can yield 10,000kg.

Other veggies and fruits like cucumbers, watermelons, Hami melons are even wilder.

Problem is, harvesting these is a hassle—something Yi Tian needs to figure out.

Yi Tian thought, if the food crisis really did hit, he’d be swimming in cash. Even his old water purifiers gig was just kindergarten stuff.

Checking the zone chat, he saw the livestock situation was dire—if anything, it was getting worse.

The zone was discussing a big topic: a Lord slaughtered his sick chickens, cooked them, and made his slaves eat them.

The result? That slave practically half-dead—no better than the livestock.

High temps had zero effect. Nobody dared touch animal meat after that.

”[Crucian Carp *10kg] Trade [None].”

Just then, Qin Fanshuang sent Yi Tian a trade offer.

”No need, I’ve still got food!” Yi Tian turned it down.

Hard times show real friends—Yi Tian was genuinely moved. Decided that from now on, he’d sell stuff to Qin Fanshuang for straight-up cost.

The day before, Yi Tian had heard Qin Fanshuang killed a Fish-eating Stork and protected the fisheries. The Brass Mechanized Guard he made for her really came through.

”I saw people in the zone say you didn’t kill the Fish-eating Stork. Why refuse?” Qin Fanshuang asked.

Right now, everyone’s meat was rotting, and only a few Lords with smoked meat still had anything edible.

The weather in the Celestial Dao World was weird—even smoked meat barely lasted a few days.

”I stocked up on grain beforehand, it’ll last me all summer.” Yi Tian kept it brief. No need to get in deeper and reveal his Wealthiest in the World status.

If an S-level expert showed up now, Yi Tian would get wiped for sure.

He needed more time!

This food crisis—Yi Tian saw it as his big chance.

”You really had foresight. Now, besides fish and a few unripe veggies, I’ve got nothing to eat. The chicks I’m raising probably won’t make it through the night. Celestial Dao’s pretty evil—lets us raise animals for a while, then poisons them all.” Qin Fanshuang replied.

”Compared to our lives, are the chicks’ lives really more important?” Yi Tian sighed, then sent a trade: ”[Watermelon *10kg][Flour *10kg][Rice *10kg] Trade [Crucian Carp *10kg]. Screw it, just give me the fish. I’ll have fish for dinner.”

”Ah... but that’s not right. I should give you gold!” Qin Fanshuang felt bad.

”We’re both Huaxia people, Yan and Huang blood runs through our veins. You gave me fish for free. Helping out your own—how could you charge gold for it?” Yi Tian messaged her.

”Thanks! We’ll definitely make it through this.” Qin Fanshuang accepted the trade.

”Qin Fanshuang, save some cash. If any Lords break into your territory and Brass Mechanized Guards can’t handle it, hire a C-level Mercenary from the system straight away.” Yi Tian reminded her.

”Got it. I’ve had slaves digging gold lately, and my stats just hit 100.” Qin Fanshuang told Yi Tian.

”Congrats! But don’t slack off—100 stats is just a start. This world has Body Refining Skill, but blocked by Celestial Dao Rules, so you can’t trade it. I’ve heard the natives here all have body refining skills—you can try to find a Human Race native at the auction house.” Yi Tian hinted, but didn’t say too much. Qin Fanshuang wasn’t dumb; she’d get the idea.

Lots of Lords already sensing the food crisis were dumping territory natives for sale. Right now, they were dirt cheap.

Even Yi Tian was thinking about buying a batch of Human Race natives just for veggie farming.

”So that’s it! Yi Tian, you really know your stuff. Without you, I’d be clueless about half of this.” Qin Fanshuang genuinely admired him.

When chatting in the zone, Yi Tian could be as aggressive as any young gun, throwing around all kinds of trendy curses. But in one-on-one convos, he felt totally mature, which made Qin Fanshuang suddenly want to ask: Just how old is Yi Tian really?

The thought popped into her head, showed up in the chat box, but in the end she canceled the message.

Just like that, the two started idly chatting back and forth. Yi Tian was waiting for Liyue to finish cooking—nothing much going on; normally at this time it was Yi Tian himself in the kitchen.

”Yi Tian, my livestock are starting to die off—how about yours?” Qin Fanshuang suddenly messaged.

”You better get to it! Dead livestock MUST be buried. If that won’t cut it, hit up Pig Boar and have it do a cremation.” Yi Tian suggested to Qin Fanshuang.

After ending the chat, with dinner still not ready, Yi Tian saw the four kiddos playing by the creek. He headed toward the gourd vine to mess around with the little gourds.

”Daddy, I’m landing tomorrow.” Before Yi Tian got to the gourd vine, the childish voice of Fifth Child, the green gourd, piped up.