Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

Guests from another world?

Selene’s heart skipped a beat. She instinctively shot a worried glance at her older sister.

Celeste, however, remained as placid as a stone, as if she had been expecting this revelation all along. Internally, a tempest of snark was brewing.

‘Great, our cover’s blown. Just like that.”Then again,’ she mused,’with that holographic sky and the rock concert light show, it’s not like the locals have ever seen that kind of postmodern performance art before. What else were they gonna think?’

“There is no need for alarm,” Eldara’s voice was even, betraying no particular emotion as if she were stating a simple, mundane fact. “Visitors like you descend upon this world from time to time. We have long since grown accustomed to it.”

She paused, her crimson eyes settling on Celeste, her gaze as sharp and discerning as if she were evaluating a newly unsheathed divine artifact.

“The power you wielded just now… it was very special. And very potent.” Eldara chose her words with care, clearly searching for the right way to describe the sheer absurdity of the ‘Purification Concert.’ “It saved my apprentices and single-handedly turned the tide of this battle.”

“This kindness is something the Silent Watch Knights, and I personally, will never forget.”

“It was nothing, really. We just couldn’t stand by and watch…” Celeste, having finally caught her breath, was about to slip into her usual habit of cracking a joke.

But the words died on her lips. Seeing the solemn, weary expressions on the elves’ faces and the cold, scattered remains of the undead littering the forest floor, she forced herself to swallow them back down. Every bone in her body ached with a deep, deep exhaustion; all she wanted was to find the nearest patch of ground and collapse.

“As a token of our gratitude, once we return to Silvermoon City, I will apply for the reward you deserve,” Eldara continued, her tone formal and sincere. “Whether it be high-quality enchanted equipment or our elven race’s unique skill heritage, you may take your pick, provided it is within my authority to grant.”

The words ‘skill heritage’ were like a mana potion straight to the soul, instantly revitalizing Celeste’s nearly withered spirit. Even her physical strength seemed to miraculously surge back, if only by a fraction.

‘The elven skill heritage! Elves are famous for their Rangers and Mages; this is a huge win for Xia Lian and Su Wan!”My original plan was just to go see the Elf Queen, but I ended up stumbling into a hidden boss fight and accidentally becoming the savior of some cool beauty Knight Commander. This is an unexpected jackpot, for sure.’

At that thought, Celeste immediately straightened up, her expression turning serious as she gave a slight, respectful nod. “Then we thank you in advance, Commander!”

Just then, a flurry of urgent footsteps rustled through the undergrowth. A squad of elven Rangers in light armor, longbows in hand, emerged from the trees, accompanied by several Mages clutching ornate staves.

The Ranger captain leading the group dropped to one knee the moment he saw Eldara, his face a mask of shame. “Commander! We are late! Mogras sent a squad of those damned Gargoyles to pin down the outpost; we only just managed to break free!”

As the captain reported, his eyes swept across the battlefield. His voice faltered, trailing off into stunned silence.

What in the world was he seeing?

The ground was littered with the smoldering, purified husks of armor—there had to be at least eighty, maybe a hundred of them. Meanwhile, their own forces, aside from looking a bit disheveled and battle-worn, seemed to have suffered no major casualties.

The Ranger captain and the mages behind him followed the silent gazes of the knights, their attention eventually converging on a single point: the exhausted-looking, pink-haired human Priestess being supported by her younger sister.

What… happened here? What did we miss?

Before they could even begin to process the scene, the young apprentice Death Knights could no longer contain themselves. They swarmed around Celeste, their expressions completely transformed. The initial wariness and curiosity were gone, replaced by a burning light—a fervent mixture of fanaticism, worship, and deep awe.

“My… My Lady,” the boldest of the young elves asked, his voice trembling with emotion. His face was still streaked with dried blood, but his pale blue eyes shone like twin stars. “May I ask… are you a divine envoy sent by the Church of the Holy Light?”

“Divine envoy?” Celeste blinked. ‘Considering I was just dual-wielding AKs and calling down a Holy Light bullet hell, my style is probably a little different from the sacred-chanting envoys they’re imagining.’

“I have never witnessed such… such a magnificent and precise divine purification art!” another knight chimed in, his voice thick with excitement. “That golden rain of bullets was a cataclysm for the undead! And it could even heal us! It was nothing short of a miracle!”

“Exactly! I still feel invigorated, full of power even now!”

“My Lady, which deity do you serve?”

A young elf’s excited question rose above the others, instantly silencing the chatter. “Is that deity’s name Barbatos? I think I heard you mention His name just now!”

As soon as he spoke, every elven eye in the clearing locked onto her, their collective breath catching in their throats. A crowd of tall, long-limbed, and strikingly handsome elven men now surrounded Celeste, chattering away like a flock of die-hard fans who had just cornered their idol.

[Ding! The Host has successfully gained the first batch of believers for Barbatos in another world. Elation Coins +666!]

The system notification detonated in her mind. Celeste’s vision swam, and her legs, already trembling from exhaustion, finally gave out. She stumbled, nearly performing a perfect face-plant right in front of her new ‘congregation.’

‘You have got to be kidding me!”That unreliable, deadbeat Anemo Archon Barbatos—the same one who scams his own people in Teyvat with lines like “If you are trapped in a windless land, I will play the song of the high heavens”—now has believers in a completely different world?”Does Mondstadt know about this? Does Venti himself even know?! If he found out he’d gained a fan club of tall, handsome elves, would he be so happy he’d crack open a bottle of Dandelion Wine on the spot?!’

The sheer, magical absurdity of the scene made Xia Lian feel like her social anxiety was about to trigger a critical meltdown. She had shrunk completely behind Su Wan, her hands clutching the hem of her friend’s clothes so tightly her knuckles were white. Her eyes were glued to the forest floor, not daring to meet the gaze of a single one of the fanatical elves.

Her toes curled frantically inside her custom tactical boots, as if they were about to burrow through the earth and excavate a three-bedroom elven treehouse just to escape the secondhand embarrassment. She even began to mutter under her breath, a desperate mantra against the social death unfolding before her. “You can’t see me, you can’t see me… I’m just a passing ranger, I don’t know that cult leader…”

Su Wan, on the other hand, was a completely different story.

She stood with her usual elegant posture, calmly allowing Xia Lian to use her as a shield. Her beautiful eyes had narrowed slightly, like a curious cat that had just discovered a fascinating new toy. A playful, scrutinizing curve touched her lips as her gaze drifted between the flustered Celeste and her circle of adoring elves.

This absurd little play—’The New Goddess Descends Upon Her First Fanatics’—was ten thousand times more entertaining than any high-society banquet she had been forced to attend. In fact, she was beginning to think that Celeste’s way of thinking—that reckless, convention-shattering ‘craziness’—was strangely captivating.

She was genuinely curious to see how Celeste would talk her way out of this one.

“Ahem… cough!”

Propped up by Selene, Celeste managed to find her footing. She cleared her throat, attempting to seize control of the rapidly derailing situation.

“Quiet! Everyone, quiet down!” She tried to put on a stern face, hoping to project some semblance of a ‘divine envoy’s’ dignity. “I am merely a passing, ordinary priest. Please, do not read too much into things.”

“As for that divine art just now… well, as your commander said, we are visitors from another world. Our power systems are a bit different from yours. This is normal, yes, perfectly normal!” Celeste nodded frantically as she spoke, hoping her body language would somehow lend credibility to her flimsy explanation.

However, the more she tried to explain, the brighter the light in the elves’ eyes became.

Look at how humble she is!

After performing such a grand miracle, she still calls herself ‘ordinary’!

This is the true magnanimity of a divine envoy!

“Alright. Disperse and let our guests rest.” Eldara’s cold, authoritative voice cut through the commotion just in time, silencing her apprentices. “Clean up the battlefield and collect the remains of our fallen comrades. Tally the wounded and prepare to make camp.”

“Yes, Commander!”

The elven knights immediately snapped to attention. Though reluctant to leave, they quickly dispersed, beginning the methodical and grim task of post-battle cleanup. With gentle movements and solemn expressions, they carefully collected the bodies of their fallen brothers-in-arms.

Watching them, the absurd sense of joy Celeste had felt from gaining ‘believers’ began to fade, replaced by the cold, unavoidable weight of reality.

These people really do die.

“You all should rest as well,” Eldara said, turning to the four of them. “Dawn Harbor, the nearest elven outpost, is still half a day’s journey from here. Once we have recovered, I will escort you there.”

She elaborated, “Dawn Harbor has a teleportation array that connects to the capital, Silvermoon City. However, for security reasons, the array’s exit is located outside the city walls. We will need to enter through the main gates from there.”

“No problem.” Celeste nodded, then plopped down onto the ground with a soft thud, completely unconcerned about the dirt and dust. She was truly, utterly spent.

Selene immediately bustled about, pulling a soft blanket from her backpack to spread on the ground before laying out various foods and recovery potions.

“Sis, hurry and eat something to get your strength back.”

“Su Wan, Xia Lian, you two come sit as well.”

The four of them sat together at the edge of the battlefield, quietly replenishing their energy. While munching on a piece of bread, Celeste began conducting a mental ‘post-battle review.’

‘Elven skill books… I wonder if they have anything fun. A disguise skill would be perfect; it’d make causing trouble so much easier in the future.’She thought back to the sensation of the transformation.’Even though the energy drain is massive, this Barbara (Special Armament Type) is seriously OP. Massive AOE clearing, group healing for allies, and destructive purification for the undead—it’s a battlefield-breaking bug, no doubt about it.”It’s just… the entrance is way too flashy. With that sky-changing effect and the BGM, I’m pretty sure I could be spotted from kilometers away, right?’

She continued to ruminate, her physical strength slowly but surely returning with every bite.

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]