Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

Early the next morning, the two sisters were jolted awake by a chorus of shouts echoing from outside their window.

Pushing open the window, they found the morning mist had not yet dispersed, blanketing the distant playground where shadows were already bustling with activity.

There were burly men, shirtless despite the chill, practicing their martial arts. Their steps were as heavy and steady as a giant elephant treading the earth, and each punch they threw ripped through the air with a dull sonic boom.

Nearby, small groups of three to five practiced with swords. The crisp sound of blades slicing through the air was sharp and clean, like a bolt of high-quality silk being torn in an instant.

“Don’t the people here… need to sleep?” Selene rubbed her bleary eyes, staring at the classmates who had thrown themselves into the rat race the moment the sky began to lighten. It made her own previous training regimen feel like little more than child’s play.

Celeste, however, looked completely unfazed. She simply lifted her chin, pointing towards the distant lake.

A large group of people had gathered there, all facing the rising sun in perfect unison, performing synchronized deep breathing exercises.

“Ancient martial arts emphasize ‘gathering the morning essence.’ At this hour, the purest energy between heaven and earth is at its peak. Training now can yield twice the results with half the effort,” she explained casually.

“Wow, they’re so dedicated,” Selene said, a sense of awe creeping into her voice.

Celeste narrowed her eyes, trying to get a better look at the direction they were facing. A moment later, the corners of her mouth began to twitch uncontrollably.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice laced with an odd tone. “They’re very dedicated.”

“That direction… is the school cafeteria.”

The two sisters changed into light sportswear and walked out of Tingzhu Garden.

The morning air on campus was filled with the fresh scent of grass, trees, and the damp soil left behind by the previous night’s rain.

Up close, the martial spirit of Tianshu University was even more intense than what they had glimpsed from the car yesterday. The moment they stepped out of the dormitory area, they were greeted by the sight of a wide martial arts practice field.

At least a hundred people were already on the field, drenched in sweat.

Some were locked in a low horse stance, their fists whistling through the air as they punched, each movement filled with explosive momentum.

Others held wooden swords, their forms so precise and standardized that every move carried an indescribable charm, the glint of the wood seeming to flash like real steel.

Further away, a few students were engaged in sparring matches.

The most eye-catching pair was two boys, one wielding a sword and the other a saber.

The sword technique was nimble and elegant, the user’s figure flitting like a butterfly through a field of flowers as he weaved around the heavy blade light.

The saber technique was wide and unrestrained, each heavy, powerful strike looking as if it could split solid rock.

The instant the sword and saber clashed, a clearly visible burst of energy erupted between them, sending the fallen leaves scattered across the ground spiraling into the air.

“Sister, they’re so strong,” Selene watched, utterly captivated.

“Yeah, their fundamentals are rock-solid,” Celeste nodded in agreement.

After absorbing a wisp of Zhongli’s polearm intent and Shenhe’s insights into spear techniques, her eye for combat was on a completely different level. She could see that the two sparring boys, in terms of footwork, power generation, and their fundamental understanding of their weapons, were already on par with veteran soldiers of the Millelith.

‘Looks like Tianshu University really is a den of hidden dragons,’she thought.’Not a single person here is just a simple NPC.’

The sisters continued on their way, and soon they came upon the group of “essence-gathering” students from before.

As they drew closer, they overheard someone in the crowd let out a sigh of deep satisfaction.

“Inhale—Exhale—I smell it! It’s the braised pork buns from the cafeteria’s breakfast menu today! This ‘aroma of the mortal realm’ is so mellow! It’s a truly great tonic!”

The person next to him immediately shot back, “Nonsense! What I’m collecting is the fragrance of deep-fried dough sticks! Fresh out of the fryer! Now that is the truly unadulterated, masculine, pure Yang energy!”

Selene was completely dumbfounded.

‘That’s a thing you can do?’

What was even more outrageous was that, in a corner not far away, a guy was squatting on the ground. Placed before him was a self-heating hot pot, bubbling away and emitting clouds of steam.

The guy was piously inhaling the white steam, thick with the scent of beef tallow and chili, an expression of pure intoxication on his face.

A passing teacher finally couldn’t take it anymore. He flashed forward and slapped the student on the back of the head.

“Zhang San! What kind of energy do you think you’re collecting? You’re collecting the fumes from a beef tallow hot pot base! Get to the playground and run twenty laps! Now!”

Celeste silently covered her face with her hand.

Selene, meanwhile, reached a deep conclusion. “I’ll remember this. It turns out the final destination of ancient martial arts is gluttony.”

Bypassing the group of dedicated foodies, the two sisters continued their walk.

The scene by the lake was even more intense.

A burly boy in a martial arts uniform was holding a steady horse stance, his arms holding up two enormous water vats filled to the brim.

“Such incredible core strength!” Selene exclaimed softly.

Celeste looked closer. The guy was indeed as steady as a rock, but soap bubbles were periodically popping up from the two vats. With the rhythm of his breathing, the water inside was shaking violently at a peculiar frequency, and she could vaguely make out a few pieces of clothing tumbling within.

‘He’s not training,’she realized with a jolt.’He’s using his internal energy as a spin cycle to do his laundry!’

“…Very practical,” Celeste managed to say after a long silence, barely finding an adjective that was even remotely appropriate.

Her gaze then shifted to a small pavilion in the center of the lake.

A girl in an elegant, flowing white dress was standing on the sharp, pointed corner of the pavilion’s roof. She stood perfectly balanced on one leg, her eyes closed as she breathed in and out. The morning wind rustled her wide sleeves, making her look ethereal and otherworldly, as if she might ride the wind and ascend to the heavens in the next second.

Selene was just about to praise her beautiful footwork when the girl suddenly produced a mobile phone from her sleeve.

Maintaining her precarious one-legged stance, she skillfully angled the phone and then shouted at the top of her lungs:

“Hello? Mom! Can you hear me? The signal is way better up here! Yes, yes, my appetite has gotten bigger, so my living expenses for this month aren’t enough! What? My brother caused trouble again? Speak louder! The wind is too strong!”

Celeste: “…”

Tianshu University, she decided, was the happy home of both cultivators and certified lunatics.

The two sisters walked through the lakeside corridor and entered a quiet bamboo forest, finally leaving the cacophony behind them. The dense grove seemed to swallow all sound.

From deep within the bamboo, however, came the sharp hiss of weapons cutting through the air.

Curious, they followed the sound and discovered another world hidden within the forest.

More than a dozen students in uniform were practicing a peculiar form of footwork under the guidance of a teacher. Their steps were erratic and unpredictable, their figures weaving through the dense bamboo stalks like ghosts.

“That’s Tianshu University’s ‘Shadow Step,’ a compulsory course for students in the Assassin and Ranger departments.”

A gentle voice spoke up from their side.

The sisters turned to see a boy with black-rimmed glasses and a scholarly air smiling at them.

“You must be the new students from this year’s special training camp, right? I’m Li Mo, a sophomore,” the boy introduced himself proactively.

“Hello, senior. My name is Celeste, and this is my younger sister, Selene,” Celeste responded politely.

“I’ve heard about your exploits,” Li Mo said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Very impressive. By the way, this bamboo forest is the training ground for our ‘Footwork Club.’ If you’re interested, you’re welcome to come and observe anytime.”

“Footwork Club?” Selene asked curiously.

“Yes, the school has many clubs like this. The Kendo Club, the Fist Technique Club, the Spear Arts Club… they’re all organized by teachers or senior students with high attainments in ancient martial arts. We all exchange pointers and learn together. It’s a great way to make progress quickly.”

Li Mo explained, “Tianshu University’s philosophy is that our professional skills are the skeleton, and ancient martial arts are the flesh and blood. Only by combining the two can one become a true powerhouse.”

Celeste nodded thoughtfully.

Li Mo then changed the subject, gesturing towards the students with their elusive, ghostly figures. He lowered his voice conspiratorially. “However, the core training of our Footwork Club is… quite special.”

He leaned in closer. “It’s mainly to practice how to accurately snatch the last portion of braised pork in the cafeteria while simultaneously evading pursuit from the dean of students.”

He pointed at the students again. “See them? They’re currently simulating the hundred-meter dash to the cafeteria right before it closes.”

A flash of understanding crossed Celeste’s face. So that was it. No wonder their footwork looked so agile and had such a strong sense of purpose.

“Thank you for the clarification, senior,” Celeste said sincerely.

“You’re welcome,” Li Mo smiled. “If you have any other questions, feel free to find me anytime. I live in Guanshan Garden, the sophomore dormitory area.”

After bidding farewell to the surprisingly down-to-earth senior, the two sisters continued their tour of the campus.

They saw an artificial lake named Yaoguang Lake, its water crystal clear. Students sat cross-legged by its edge, practicing breathing exercises directed at the lake’s surface. Each exhalation caused visible ripples to spread across the water. In front of each student was a row of fishing rods, and every time the ripples spread out, they would perfectly scare away a fish that was just about to take the bait.

They also saw the massive library, Yuheng Pavilion. Inside, there were not only countless paper books but also innumerable jade slips recording ancient martial arts techniques and the combat footage of legendary powerhouses. On the notice board at the library’s entrance, a message was written in vigorous, powerful calligraphy: “The use of jade slips to watch cultivation-themed television dramas within the library is strictly forbidden! Violators will be punished by copying the school rules one hundred times!”

“This place… is amazing,” Selene exclaimed with genuine wonder. “I feel like I could stay here for four years and never get bored.”

“The prerequisite being that you can actually keep up with the training intensity here,” Celeste replied, mercilessly pouring a bucket of cold water on her sister’s enthusiasm.

After wandering for the entire morning, the two sisters found a bench under the shade of a tree and sat down to rest.

“Sister, I’m a little hungry,” Selene said, rubbing her stomach.

“Hang in there. I’ll make you something better when we get back.”

“Yay!”

Just then, a commotion erupted from a crowd not far away.

“Look! It’s ‘Sword Maniac’ Lu Yan!”

“Is he going to challenge the ‘Gravity Room’ again? I wonder what multiplier he’s challenging this time?”

“I heard he cleared five times gravity last week! He’s probably going for six times today!”

The sisters looked in the direction of the voices.

They saw a young man with a cold, severe expression and an antique longsword strapped to his back walking towards a fortress-like building made entirely of metal. A crowd of students followed him at a respectful distance.

The young man’s walking posture was peculiar. Every step he took seemed to have been measured with a ruler—impossibly precise, without the slightest deviation. He carried himself like a drawn sword, his aura so sharp and exposed that it made people afraid to look at him directly.

“What kind of place is that?” Selene asked softly.

“It must be one of the school’s special training facilities,” Celeste said, her eyes narrowing.

She could clearly feel an extremely sharp and pure aura radiating from the young man named Lu Yan. It was a sword intent that had been honed through countless swings, a blade tempered in the fires of relentless practice.

‘Okay, this guy’s the real deal,’she thought.’A genuine expert.’

Tianshu University was indeed a place where true talent lay hidden.

However, just as the cold young man passed by their bench, Celeste’s keen hearing caught him deliberately lowering his voice to instruct a follower beside him.

“Remember, if I’m in there for ten minutes and there’s no movement, hurry up and call my sister to come open the door.”

He paused, then added in a near-whisper.

“I’ve probably fainted again.”

The corners of Celeste’s mouth uncontrollably curled up into a beautiful, dangerous arc. It was the heartfelt excitement and pure joy of a drama-lover who had just discovered a fascinating new toy.

“Come on, let’s go back and eat,” she said, standing up and patting her sister’s head.

“We need to be full to have the energy to watch the show.”

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]