Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

“Provide support from the flanks! Don’t go up there and feed!”

With a single, sharp order from Celeste, the four-person squad sprang into motion.

Selene, the team’s nominal tank, clutched her shield and stuck close to her sister’s heels, showing absolutely no intention of charging forward to meet the enemy head-on.

Was this a joke?

That was a tide of over a hundred Level 30-plus Death Knights. If she, a Level 23 Paladin, tried to tank that, it wouldn’t be bravery; it would be griefing her own team.

“Ice Wall!”

Su Wan slammed the butt of her staff into the ground. A wave of frigid magic surged outward, racing across the forest floor.

Rumble!

Three thick, crystalline walls of ice erupted from the earth. They weren’t positioned to block the enemy’s path directly. Instead, they jutted out at cunningly awkward angles, wedged diagonally into the charging horde’s trajectory. They were like three massive, spiteful stumbling blocks, designed for the sole purpose of shattering the Death Knights’ uniform formation.

“Traps are set!”

Xia Lian’s figure became a blur, darting through the trees on the flank as her hands moved too fast to see. Simple but effective traps woven from vines, reinforced with metal shards, and inscribed with faint magic runes were swiftly buried just beneath the loose soil.

Deceleration, binding, piercing.

Against high-level knights, the effects would be minimal, but they were more than enough to force a split-second of hesitation in their relentless charge.

“I’ll guard you! Any of them that don’t watch where they’re going and charge over here, I’ll give them a shield bash they won’t forget!”

Selene took a deep, steadying breath and slammed her heavy shield into the ground with a solid thud. Holy light flared from within her, rooting her to the spot. She became as immovable as a mountain, a steadfast guardian for the three damage dealers behind her.

Her mission wasn’t to kill the enemy. It was to plug any gaps in their defense and create an absolutely safe pocket for her teammates to unleash hell.

As for Celeste, she stood at the very back of the formation, her hands wrapped around the grip of a gorgeous, almost whimsical pink staff. Her eyes, however, were anything but whimsical. They were exceptionally calm, her mind whirring like the most efficient supercomputer, processing the state of the entire battlefield.

[Enemy Forces: Approximately one hundred Death Knights, Level 33 to 35. Pure undead composition. Morale: fanatical, fearless of death.]

[Friendly Forces: Eldara’s Apprentice Knights, thirty-plus members, Level 30. Living beings. complete disadvantage in numbers and levels. Slight advantage in looks.]

[Our Squad: Level 22 to 23. Cannon fodder among cannon fodder. A couple of direct hits and we’re wiped.]

[Conclusion: Head-on collision results in a total party kill within three minutes. When Eldara finishes her boss fight and gets back, all she’ll find is a pile of loot drops.]

The situation was even more dire than she had imagined.

Clang! Clang! Clang!

The black torrent of death slammed savagely into Su Wan’s Ice Walls. The Death Knights at the vanguard didn’t even attempt to slow down; they simply initiated the most primitive and brutal charge, using their own bodies and weapons as battering rams.

The walls of ice groaned under the overwhelming assault, spiderweb cracks instantly spreading across their crystalline surfaces. But in the end, they held just long enough to buy one or two precious seconds for the elven knights behind them.

And those one or two seconds were all Eldara’s apprentices needed to complete their final battle preparations.

“Form up! Winter’s Defense Line!” the lead elf knight roared, his voice clear and sharp.

Thirty-plus knights responded in perfect unison, rapidly forming tight, three-person combat squads. They established a defensive line that looked perilously thin but was, in reality, incredibly tough. Two knights stood at the front, their shields and longswords crossed to form a stable, interlocking defensive angle. The third knight stood just behind them, a chilling, deathly energy gathering on the runic greatsword in his hands.

“For Her Majesty the Queen!”

With a unified war cry, the black tide finally shattered the last of the ice barriers and crashed heavily into the thin elven line.

CLANG—!

The piercing shriek of countless impacts merged into a single, deafening sound. Metal twisted, bones shattered, and a spray of brilliant sparks traced miserable arcs through the dim forest light. The sheer force of the collision sent a shockwave blasting outward, the wind pressure stinging the cheeks of Celeste and her team, even from a distance.

But what unfolded on the front line made Celeste’s eyes light up.

Facing the devastating charge, the two knights in the front rank suddenly sank their weight, expertly channeling the bulk of the impact’s force down into the earth. Simultaneously, they used the edges of their shields and the hilts of their swords to skillfully deflect the enemy’s weapons, shattering their balance.

Just as the Death Knights’ momentum was broken, leaving them in a state of momentary stiffness…

“Die!”

The third knight in the squad made his move. The runic greatsword in his hand, radiating a gray, decaying chill, stabbed out with absolute precision from the gap between his two teammates. It wasn’t aimed at the rider, but at the most fragile joint of the enemy’s Skeleton Warhorse.

Screeech—!

The undead steed let out a piercing wail as its front leg joint was severed cleanly. Its massive body lost its footing and collapsed to the ground with a thunderous boom. The Death Knight on its back was thrown off balance, tumbling heavily to the forest floor.

He didn’t even have time to scramble back up.

Two longswords, shimmering with cold light, had already pierced precisely into the eye-socket gaps of his helmet from the left and right.

Puchi!

The crimson ball of soulfire burning within his skull extinguished in an instant.

A single three-person squad, at the cost of zero casualties, had flawlessly eliminated an enemy of a higher level.

‘Beautiful!’ Celeste cheered internally.

[This isn’t just mindless hacking; this is tactics! It’s pure technique! Their control over the power of death is precise to the extreme, without a single shred of wasted energy. Use minimal force, attack the most fragile joints, disable the mount to create an opening, and then focus fire for an instant kill!]

These young elves, though not high-leveled, possessed a combat proficiency that far exceeded any professional of the same rank Celeste had ever seen. They had taken Eldara’s philosophy of “research, understand, and control” to its absolute limit.

However, even the most brilliant tactics and techniques began to look pale and powerless in the face of an overwhelming difference in numbers.

The moment they dispatched the first enemy, more had already swarmed in to take its place. Though the Apprentice Knights coordinated flawlessly, every block and every counterattack was a drain on their already limited stamina and energy.

Soon, the first casualty appeared.

While covering his teammates, one of the elf knights was struck savagely on the shoulder by a rune-inscribed battle axe. The black armor shattered on impact, and the wound, deep enough to reveal the bone beneath, was instantly swarmed by a filthy death energy that began frantically eating away at his flesh.

He let out a muffled groan, his face turning deathly pale as his movements became sluggish.

“Healing Spell!”

Celeste didn’t hesitate for a second, pointing her staff at the injured knight. A soft, pink halo of light shot across the battlefield and settled upon him.

Her heart leaped into her throat.

‘Don’t screw this up! This is a living person, not an undead! It should heal, right?!’

She stared intently at the knight’s status.

The moment the pink light merged with his wound, the foul black energy that was rapidly destroying his life force seemed to encounter its natural predator. It let out a silent, agonizing shriek and dissolved into nothingness. Immediately after, color returned to the knight’s pale face at a visible rate, and his previously sluggish movements became fluid once more.

Though the wound itself didn’t close instantly, the corrosive negative effect had been completely purified.

It worked!

The breath Celeste had been holding finally escaped her lungs.

“Selene, watch the flank! Su Wan, use Ice Shard to harass! Xia Lian, aim for their horses’ legs! Harassment is the priority, don’t get into a direct fight! Create opportunities for them!” Celeste’s voice rang out, clear and commanding, above the chaos of the battlefield.

“Received!” Selene roared. Spotting a Death Knight that had slipped through the net and was trying to circle around, she immediately met it with a powerful shield bash.

Su Wan’s Ice Shards and Xia Lian’s arrows seemed to have grown eyes, always appearing at the most critical moments and in the most inconvenient positions for the enemy. They would slow a knight’s movement, interrupt an attack mid-swing, or force a rider to turn and expose their flank.

Though the four of them were low-level and their damage output was like chipping away at a mountain with a toothpick, their combat experience was incredibly rich. They were like four of the most annoying mosquitoes imaginable, constantly buzzing on the edge of the battlefield, using exquisite micro-plays to slowly pry open the entire battle situation.

But it still wasn’t enough.

The number of casualties among the Apprentice Knights was still growing. There were simply too many enemies; they couldn’t kill them fast enough. For every one that fell, two more immediately surged forward to fill the gap. The knight who had been injured first had only just caught his breath before he was entangled by two more enemies, struggling desperately to fend them off and in constant danger of being overwhelmed.

Celeste maintained her healing on the front line while her mind raced, searching for a countermeasure.

‘Single-target healing can’t keep up. I need to use an AoE heal, but the range on my normal ones isn’t enough, and ‘Halo’has too long of a cooldown.”Eldara is tied up with three boss-level enemies over there; she can’t break away. Her ultimate move must have a huge cost, she’s probably still in a recovery phase.”I have to think of something. A way to instantly turn the tide of this battle!’

Her gaze swept across her skill bar and then through her system inventory.

Finally, her eyes locked onto a bright, dreamy pink card that looked completely and utterly out of place on this bloody, grim battlefield.

[Barbara (Special Armament Type) (Permanent)]!

‘Comes with a sky-blue AK-47 that converts energy into bullets,’she recalled.’A machine gun versus cavalry… it’s a perfect match!’The only risk was the “costume change”… the commotion might be a little extreme.’Screw it,’she thought.’What time is it to be worrying about that? Saving the situation is like fighting a fire! As long as we win, who cares about a little social death!’A wicked grin touched her lips.’Besides, the one dying of embarrassment won’t be me, Celeste. It’ll be Barbara!’

“Selene, get ready to start the team fight!” Celeste took a deep breath, her voice a low roar.

“Sister, how are we starting it?” Selene grunted, blocking a heavy blow with all her might as she panted for breath.

“I’ll start it,” Celeste’s voice was laced with a hint of inexplicable, manic excitement. “You guys… just enjoy the show.”

Before the words had even faded, she silently commanded in her mind:

“System! Use the [Barbara (Special Armament Type)] character card!”

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]