Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

“That rate of fire… that power…” Selene muttered, her voice barely a whisper. “Sis, you’re not a priest anymore. You’re a mobile turret.”

“It’s not over yet,” Celeste’s voice was soft as she closed her eyes.

The massive surge of elemental power bestowed by the character card receded like a tide, draining away from her senses. In its place, a warm and pure holy light began to well up from the depths of her soul. With practiced focus, she guided this new energy, attempting to inject it into the firearm cradled in her hands.

The clear, icy-blue liquid in the magazine container began to change. Tendrils of soft gold slowly bloomed within the fluid, staining it little by little, like the first rays of dawn spilling through the stained-glass windows of a cathedral.

“Holy Light Mode,” Celeste announced.

She raised the gun again, the muzzle locking onto the untouched target on the far right with unshakable stability.

She squeezed the trigger.

Click.

This time, the report of the gun was crisper, cleaner, reminiscent of the first morning bell chiming from a distant church. A solid, golden bullet of pure light shot from the barrel. It streaked through the air, trailing a warm, sacred afterglow, and struck the target with pinpoint accuracy.

Thump!

The sound of the impact was still present, but it was far duller than the concussive blast of the water bullet. The target swayed only slightly, but a pale golden film instantly spread across its surface, as if it had been draped in a holy vestment.

The data screen to the side flickered to life, displaying a new set of information.

[Hit Type: Holy Energy Bullet]

[Energy Attribute: Holy Light / Positive Energy]

[Single Impact Force: 5.3 standard units]

[Energy Intensity: Equivalent to a Level 20 Priest’s Healing Spell]

[Special Effect: Potent healing energy detected, negative status dispelling properties confirmed.]

[Note: This energy form may cause additional damage to negative-energy creatures such as undead, shadows, etc.]

“Is that… a healing bullet?” Selene had practically pressed her face against the energy barrier, her eyes wide with disbelief.

“Not just that. It still has impact force, just about seventy or eighty percent less than the water bullet,” Celeste corrected, lowering the gun and walking toward the target.

The golden film was slowly seeping into the target’s structure. A new line of data popped up on the screen: [Internal structure micro-damage repairing. Estimated time to completion: 23 seconds].

“If I’m not mistaken,” Celeste said, the light in her eyes growing brighter, “if this thing hits a person, it can rapidly heal their wounds and dispel curses, all while delivering a bit of a punch.”

A dangerous grin spread across her face. “And—”

“It can also fire continuously.”

She turned to her sister, her expression brimming with an almost manic excitement. “Just imagine it, Selene.”

“You’re on the battlefield, fighting the enemy to a standstill. You’re on your last legs, about to collapse, and then—”

Celeste didn’t finish the sentence. She showed her.

She raised the gun again, aimed it at the row of three targets, and held the trigger down.

Da-da-da-da-da-da—!

A torrent of golden, holy ammunition erupted from the muzzle, a brilliant rain of consecrated steel pouring forth! The crisp reports of the gunshots blended into a single, continuous roar, creating the magnificent illusion of a holy symphony.

Thump! Thump! Thump!

All three targets trembled in unison under the dense barrage. Golden light flowed across their surfaces like liquid sunlight, and a sacred aura instantly saturated the entire testing chamber.

The information on the data screen had become a cascading golden waterfall.

[Continuous Attack: Duration 4.1 seconds]

[Attack Count: 31 hits]

[Average Single Impact Force: 5.5 standard units]

[Continuous healing energy field formation detected.]

[Area-of-effect negative energy purification efficiency: +300%]

[Warning: Holy energy overload. Target self-cleaning system activated.]

A few seconds later, the gunfire ceased and the golden light faded.

The three targets were not only completely unscathed, but the energy patterns etched onto their surfaces were now glowing even more brightly than before the test. The Holy Light energy had, as a side effect, given them a complete deep cleaning and a full supercharge.

“I can throw shields on you and spam Healing Spells, simultaneously apply an AoE cleanse to any undead, and still have time to pick off their squishy mages on the backline,” Celeste said, finally lowering the gun. The excitement in her voice was practically overflowing.

“And the most important part? This thing needs no chanting, no somatic components. You just point and click. It’s instant cast!”

Selene was silent.

For a full ten seconds, she just stared.

Then, she slowly raised her head. The usual sharp wit and cunning were gone from her expression, replaced by a look of deep solemnity as she gazed at her sister.

“Sis, I take back what I said earlier.”

“You don’t need to tell the professors that ‘the times have changed’.”

“You just need to pull this thing out.”

“They’ll sit down on their own and start questioning their entire lives.”

The energy barrier of the testing chamber slid down with a silent hiss.

In the distance, several students who had been practicing their martial arts had long since stopped, their movements frozen. They were all staring in Celeste’s direction with the kind of expression one reserved for looking at a monster.

One of the boys rubbed his eyes vigorously before poking his companion’s arm.

“Dude, am I tripping right now?”

“Did that pink-haired Priest just use a gun… to heal and polish the Lingshu Targets?”

His companion stared, transfixed, at the three gleaming targets with their maxed-out energy readings. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, forcing out a single, strained sentence.

“Is the maintenance for the equipment at our Tianshu University… already this hardcore?”

Celeste pretended not to hear the hushed, bewildered discussions. She lovingly stroked the still-warm body of the gun, two sets of data replaying clearly in her mind.

‘Water Element Mode: 21 units of impact force. Pure physical suppression and destruction. No recoil, continuous fire.”Holy Light Mode: Healing, dispelling, purification, with a minor kinetic impact. The ultimate battlefield support multi-tool.’

Combined with her own excellent marksmanship…

“Selene,” she said suddenly.

“Hmm?”

“Let’s say, hypothetically, that the special training camp has some kind of team-versus-team event…” Celeste’s eyes curved into mischievous crescents. “If we were to give our dear teammates a little bit of ‘firepower support’… that wouldn’t be too much, would it?”

Selene looked at her sister’s “I can’t wait to cause chaos” expression, then glanced back at the three training targets that were now so bright they could almost be used as mirrors. She silently offered a prayer for their future classmates at the training camp.

“Not too much,” she answered with utmost sincerity. “Not too much at all.”

“After all,” she added, a matching grin spreading across her face, “we’re just thinking about the team’s victory.”

“Delivering ‘healing’and’vitality’ to our teammates in the most enthusiastic and direct way possible.”

The two sisters shared a knowing smile, tacitly packed their things, and turned to leave. The sunset glow stretched their shadows long and thin behind them.

The rifle slung over Celeste’s shoulder caught the dying rays of the sun, reflecting a warm and dangerous golden light.

In the distance, Teacher Chen, having just finished her work for the day, happened to be passing by the training grounds. She glanced at the three energy-saturated, gleaming Lingshu Targets, then at the retreating backs of the two sisters. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“Interesting,” she muttered to herself, the smile on her lips turning a shade more playful.

“It seems this year’s special training camp won’t be boring.”

…

Celeste deactivated the transformation, returning to her usual appearance as a harmless, pink-haired Priest. But deep within her system inventory, that golden character card lay quietly, ready for its next grand performance at a moment’s notice.

She did a quick mental calculation. The disguise had lasted about twelve minutes, and the physical exertion felt roughly on par with using Noelle’s card. It was definitely a solid trump card to keep in reserve for a critical moment.

“Sis, do you think there will be anyone at the training camp more outrageous than you?” Selene asked as they settled back into their dorm room.

Celeste leaned against her headboard, casually flipping through the training camp roster that Zhou Kai had sent over. “Anyone personally selected by Teacher Chen is bound to be a handful.”

Her fingertips paused on a particular name, but she quickly changed the subject. “But as for whether anyone is more outrageous than me…”

A confident smile touched her lips. “We’ll just have to compare notes when we get there.”

Outside the window, night had completely fallen. Deep within the Tianshu University campus, the sporadic shouts of students and the sharp whistle of weapons cutting through the air could still be heard. This ancient bastion of martial arts was about to welcome a batch of new students with the most unorthodox styles it had ever seen.

And Celeste was absolutely certain of one thing.

She would definitely be the one who brought the most “joy.”

[Ding! The Host has successfully tested a new ability and is eagerly anticipating the “cognitive shock” it may cause in the future. This aligns with the core concept of “joy.” Elation Coins +233!]

Celeste glanced at the system prompt, and the curve of her smile widened.

‘System, for the next update, can you get a little wilder?”I’m looking forward to it.’

The system offered no reply.

But Celeste had a feeling it was already cooking up something big.

[Elysian’s Note:

Having a good time with the story?

Every single bit helps immensely:

Thanks a ton for making this journey possible!]