Genshin Impact: This Priest is Cringe, But She’s Also Unbeatable

Hum— The light of the teleportation array dissipated, and their feet finally touched the solid ground of the real world.

Celeste leaned on her sister for support, and the two of them couldn’t help but sway.

The dizzying disorientation from the spatial transition hadn’t yet faded, a lingering echo of their time in the completely purified Domain.

The oversaturated, almost sterile freshness of the Domain’s air was gone.

In its place was the thick, humid heatwave of the Yi City Preparation Plaza, a heavy blanket woven from the smells of sweat, dust, and teenage hormones.

Celeste subconsciously took a breath and her delicate, pretty face instantly scrunched up like a steamed bun.

It had been three days without a shower.

She was convinced that every breath she exhaled now carried a faint, sour odor.

“Sister, we’re out.” Selene’s voice came from her side as she immediately steadied her seemingly “weak” sister.

In reality, Celeste was just too lazy to stand up straight.

‘Three days and three nights of non-stop fighting in that hellhole,’she thought.’Can’t a girl be lazy for a bit?

Keep the music playing, keep the good times…

cough!’ At the plaza’s exit, a colossal light screen dominated the view.

The point rankings had been refreshed to their final, unchangeable state.

At the very top, a line of dazzling golden text stung the eyes of countless examinees still milling about the arena.

[First Place: Qingyue-Xiyue Team.

Points: 53341] It was a full six thousand points ahead of the team in second place—a gap so vast it was utterly despair-inducing.

It was at that exact moment that a delayed system notification finally chimed in Celeste’s mind.

[Ding!

Congratulations to the Host and teammate Selene for winning first place in the “New Students Point Competition · Shadow of the Natural Disaster” with an absolute, crushing advantage!] [Detected that the Host team’s victory has caused the perceptions of Paladins and Priests to be violently shaken among many elementary and middle school students.

Settling Elation Coins +666!] [Ding!

Detected that the Host has unlocked the hidden achievement “Reaching the Peak”!

Reward: Xiangling’s Cooking (Mastery Level)!] [Xiangling’s Cooking] [Type: Skill Book] [Description: After use, you will master the top-tier cooking techniques from Liyue’s Wanmin Restaurant.

From now on, the meals you cook will automatically carry the effects of “Deliciousness +50%,” “Mood Enhancement +30%,” and “Small chance to trigger special buffs.”] [Note: Want to try my new dish?

Guaranteed not to include Slime Condensate…

probably.] Celeste’s mouth twitched.

She stared at the description on the system panel, falling into three full seconds of deep, philosophical thought.

‘So, I just used a Healing Spell to literally turn an Undead Overlord into dust, and the system’s grand reward is…

cooking skills?’The logic of this system was truly operating on another plane of existence.’However…

it does seem pretty practical,’she mused.’Maybe I can make my own stamina-restoring food in the future instead of having to rely on the gacha.’ Just as she was pondering the applications of her new culinary talents, an aura even more terrifying than the undead army in the Domain surged toward them from all directions.

“They’re out!

It’s Celeste and Selene!” “Quick!

Surround them!” “Classmate Celeste!

I am Director Wang from the Jingcheng University admissions office!

As long as you come to our school, we will provide an S-class training contract!

You can choose any mentor you wish, and all resources will be tilted in your favor!” A man wearing gold-rimmed glasses shoved his way out of the crowd, his suit disheveled, his face alight with an undisguised fanaticism.

“Move aside, you pen-pusher!

Our Northern War Academy will provide one-on-one guidance from a Brigadier-level mentor!

Priority entry to three S-class Domains every single year!

Classmate Lin, you have to consider it!” a burly old man roared, his voice like a thunderclap.

“Magic City Academy!

One million in living subsidies per year!

Accommodation included!

A three-hundred-square-meter river-view apartment, fully furnished and move-in ready!” The professors, experts, and admissions directors who had been sitting primly in the observation center just moments ago were now stampeding toward them like a pack of starving wolves, their eyes glowing with a feral green light.

Behind them, a swarm of media reporters carrying cameras and microphones squeezed into every available gap.

Camera flashes exploded one after another, illuminating the plaza as brightly as day.

“Classmate Celeste!

May I ask if that final Healing Spell of yours was some kind of hidden Forbidden Spell?” “Can you explain why your holy energy was able to transform the undead-infested land into fertile soil?

Is this related to your special Talents?” “Some people online are calling you the ‘Living Saintess’and the’Nuclear Peace Priest’!

What are your thoughts on these titles?” Countless microphones were practically shoved into Celeste’s nostrils.

Selene immediately stepped forward, spreading her arms like a lioness protecting her cub, firmly shielding her sister behind her.

The Paladin’s protective field automatically flared to life, its golden shimmer isolating them from most of the jostling crowd.

“Please, everyone, calm down!

My sister needs to rest!” The Priestess’s voice was crisp and firm, but against the tidal wave of fanaticism, it sounded exceptionally thin.

Celeste, safely guarded by her sister, finally couldn’t take the cacophony anymore.

Her voice wasn’t loud, but it miraculously cut through all the noise.

“Um…

teachers, friends from the press.” She poked half her head out from behind Selene, looking at everyone with an expression of pure sincerity and a hint of pleading.

“Can I go home and take a shower first?” The entire plaza fell into a dead, ringing silence.

Everyone was stunned.

Director Wang of Jingcheng University stood with his mouth agape, the series of even more generous offers he had prepared now stuck in his throat, refusing to go up or down.

Professor Li of the War Academy stared with wide, bull-like eyes, his face a perfect mask of “Who am I?

Where am I?

What did I just hear?”.

Take a shower?

At this glorious, life-changing moment that decided one’s future, that catapulted one to the pinnacle of their generation, that brought boundless honor to one’s ancestors…

At this brilliant instant, worthy of being recorded in the history of a new era of Professionals…

You…

you’re actually thinking about a shower?

Celeste seemed oblivious to their collective mental breakdown.

She raised a hand to point at the corners of her clothes, which were stained with dust and unknown grime, and then at her hair, which was still pink but now clearly matted together in clumps.

“It’s been three days.” “Really, it’s been three whole days without a shower.

I feel like I’m about to grow mushrooms on my body.” As she spoke, she even lifted her arm to sniff her own sleeve, then wrinkled her nose in disgust.

The earnest, troubled expression on her face was clearly not an act.

“Choosing a school is a huge deal.

I think everyone needs to calm down and think about it properly,” Celeste said, her expression the very picture of sincerity.

“How about this?

I’ll go home, take a nice, long shower, get some sleep, and we can talk tomorrow?” Pfft.

Somewhere in the crowd, someone lost their composure.

Immediately after, a ripple of repressed laughter spread like a contagion.

The tense, high-stakes atmosphere of a talent-poaching frenzy was instantly shattered by this simple, unadorned, and even slightly smelly request.

“This girl…

she’s something else.” “Her style is certainly unique.” “Why do I get the feeling…

that she really, really just wants to go home and take a shower…” The admissions teachers looked at each other, their minds full of prepared rhetoric and bargaining chips, now completely at a loss for where to even begin.

When faced with a peerless genius who could casually rewrite the laws of nature, you couldn’t exactly counter with, “Our school’s bathhouse has excellent hot water, and we even give out free scrubbing mitts,” could you?

“Ahem.” Director Wang of Jingcheng University was the first to recover.

He adjusted his glasses and squeezed out what he considered his most amiable smile.

“Of course, of course!

Classmate Lin has worked hard.

She absolutely should get some proper rest!

We won’t disturb you any further.

We’ll pay a visit tomorrow!” “Yes, yes, tomorrow!

We’ll come again tomorrow!” the others quickly echoed.

They realized that this girl’s thought process was not on the same wavelength as a normal person’s.

If they continued to block her path now, it might very well backfire.

Seeing her chance, Celeste’s eyes instantly lit up.

She nodded her head vigorously, like a little chick pecking at rice.

“Thank you, teachers!

Thank you all!

Then I’m leaving!” Before the words had even fully left her mouth, she grabbed Selene’s hand.

With the agility of a slippery loach, she instantly drilled through a gap in the encirclement and vanished down a special passage hastily opened by the on-site staff.

She left behind a group of admissions teachers who were caught between laughter and exasperation, and a throng of media reporters who could only stare at each other in dismay.

“Are the conditions we offered really less tempting than a hot shower?” a young teacher muttered to himself, his entire worldview taking a critical hit.

“No,” Director Wang, the man with the gold-rimmed glasses, pushed his lenses up the bridge of his nose.

Behind them, his eyes were sharp.

“She is very smart.” He looked in the direction the two sisters had disappeared, a meaningful smile curling at the corners of his mouth.

“To know how to cool things down at the moment of her greatest triumph, to not be swept away by sudden honor and adulation…

That kind of temperament is even rarer than her Talents.” Hearing this, the other admissions teachers also calmed down, their expressions turning thoughtful.

He was right.

A young prodigy who could turn the tide in such a desperate situation and still keep a clear head under the intense gaze of the entire world…

She was worth waiting for.

[Elysian’s Note: Having a good time with the story?

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