Livestream Matchmaking: My Intel Infinitely Refreshes

Chapter 31: Chapter 31: The Dream Isn’t Right, Do It Over

[The streamer knows so much about men. You’re not gay, are you?]

[What about phoenix men?]

[Boy toys, artsy types, players, Nantong.]

[Why isn’t my favorite Xiaonan Niang on the list?]

”You see? The comments have listed so many types of men. Do you even know which one is the best fit for you?”

”I...” The woman hesitated for a long time. It was hard to tell if she simply didn’t know or if her tastes were too embarrassing to admit. In the end, she didn’t give a real answer, just said, ”I don’t know.”

”Well, that’s a deal-breaker right there.” Zhang Zhe shook his head. ”From my perspective—and from the perspective of any potential match—I’d already be checked out of this conversation.”

”Because you don’t know yourself.”

”If you were still a student, some naive young girl, I could overlook it. I could be patient and we could grow together.”

”But you’re almost 30. You have the age of a 30-year-old but the mind of a 15-year-old. Marrying you would be like providing emotional welfare; you’d just constantly drain my energy.”

”Many people in the audience might not know what this ’emotional welfare’ feels like. Just try babysitting one of your relatives’ elementary school-aged kids for a full day during the holidays. You’ll understand completely.”

After hearing Zhang Zhe’s words, the woman on the other end of the video call had a conflicted expression.

She frowned, looking as if she was having trouble breathing.

Zhang Zhe watched her, getting the feeling she was about to open Xiaohongshu and start a call-out post about him.

*Fam, who even gets it? I just met the most disgusting male matchmaker.*

To his surprise, the woman actually held back.

It was clear she was genuinely distressed about her love life, so much so that she was willing to seriously consider the words of a random matchmaking streamer like Zhang Zhe.

”So, Streamer, do you think... am I even cut out for matchmaking? I can accept that someone of your caliber wouldn’t be interested in me. I know I’m not good enough.”

”But for other people... well...”

”You’re asking if you can still find someone if you lower your standards, right?” Zhang Zhe cut in, clarifying for her.

”Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”

”Because I’m getting older now. It’ll be much harder to find someone after I turn 30.”

”You can, of course you can find someone.” Zhang Zhe nodded. ”If you lower your standards, the market is full of people. But you need to understand one thing: the best assets don’t circulate. The ones that are available inevitably have issues.”

”Let me teach you a little trick for deciding whether you should get married.”

”Just analyze this: which is harder, facing life alone, or managing a marriage with your potential partner? Compare the two, and you’ll have your answer.”

”For most people, it’s the latter. The whole point of marriage is to increase two ordinary people’s ability to withstand risks, both materially and emotionally.”

”In your case, you’ll have to analyze it for yourself.”

”I understaaand—” The woman drew out her words, clearly thinking as she answered.

Zhang Zhe waited a moment. Once her eyes seemed to clear up a bit, he said, ”Okay, then our session is officially over.”

”You haven’t forgotten what you promised me earlier, have you?”

”I haven’t forgotten, I haven’t forgotten.” The woman nodded. ”I’ll ask the others when I’m at the gym tomorrow. I’m sure plenty of them have marriage-related problems.”

”I have to say, Streamer, you’re very professional.”

”Perfect!” Zhang Zhe gave the woman a cupped-fist salute. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement, a total win-win.

[The streamer and the guest are both being so reasonable?]

[She didn’t even have a meltdown? I’m so disappointed.]

[The streamer’s being a little too rational. I prefer it when you make the women have a meltdown and they start screaming that you’re a misogynist.]

[Hey chat, stop telling scary stories in the middle of the night. If we get a really messy one, I won’t be able to sleep.]

”That comment has a point.”

”It’s a late-night show. We’re all about keeping things harmonious. Peace and love.”

”Anyone else want to join the call? If not, I’m going to wash up and get ready for bed.”

Zhang Zhe had only started the stream because of that last woman. Now that their chat was over, his mind naturally turned to logging off for the night.

’I have to work tomorrow, after all.’

But someone didn’t want him to end the stream just yet.

”Blue Pikachu, are you sure you want to get on a call tonight?”

”I just canceled your request. If you still want to, please send it again.”

Seeing that ID pop up in the request list again, Zhang Zhe had no choice but to accept the call.

’It’s not that late yet. I’ll try to get this over with quickly.’

”Good evening, Streamer. Is it okay if I keep my camera off?”

”That’s fine, it’s not required.” Zhang Zhe picked up the document he’d brought back from the matchmaking agency and held it up to the camera. ”I have a registration form here. Can you read the text on it?”

”Yes, I can see it clearly.”

”Good. Then please start by giving me your basic information. Sometimes in matchmaking, we show this form to the other party first.”

Zhang Zhe wasn’t being entirely truthful. According to the matchmaking agency’s rules, the information on this form was considered the raw data sheet and wasn’t meant for public viewing.

What they showed to potential matches was a version that had been cleaned up and embellished.

But it didn’t matter on the stream. Zhang Zhe had discovered that the female guests who joined the call would embellish their own details anyway.

It was like they came with their own built-in beauty filter.

The woman on the call was cooperative enough, and began reciting her information as if reading from the form:

”I was born in ’99, I’m from Funan, and I have a junior college degree. I’m 5’7”, weigh around 129 pounds, and I work as a consultant in the medical aesthetics industry. My annual income is between 500,000 and 600,000 yuan...”

[The moment I heard ”medical aesthetics,” I started laughing.]

[Does that industry really make so much money now? Can anyone who knows fill us in?]

[It definitely makes money, but you’d better not ask where that money comes from.]

[Prime hookup material right there. If you’re just looking to have fun, you can’t go wrong with someone from the aesthetics industry.]

Some of the comments were so blunt that Zhang Zhe felt a little embarrassed reading them. They made it sound like this woman was only on a matchmaking show to find a way to go legit and settle down.

The terrifying part was, the comments were probably right.

But Zhang Zhe was a professional Matchmaker. He couldn’t discriminate against her profession. If a retired ”star” from the Bai Ma Club came to him for help, he’d treat them just the same—he might even ask for a few pointers.

After the woman finished giving her basic information, Zhang Zhe looked at the comments and asked the question on everyone’s mind: ”You just said your looks are a 6 out of 10. Have you had any work done?”

”Yes. Our line of work requires us to get procedures done on our faces.”

”I’m aware of that.”

Zhang Zhe had a friend who once dated a woman in the medical aesthetics field. It was true that their job required them to have had work done; otherwise, they had no credibility.

You’re selling cosmetic services with an all-natural face? Who’s going to believe that?

Speaking of which, while the pay in this industry was high, it wasn’t easy. Your face was essentially a living advertisement. You had to get everything pumped into it: Botox, hyaluronic acid, calcium hydroxylapatite, you name it.

Sometimes, your body had to be used too. Any area that needed to be more prominent had to be filled with implants.

It was fine when you were young, but the maintenance costs in old age would be so high you’d end up spending everything you’d ever earned, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

”What I’m asking is, what percentage of it is work?”

”Almost everything. Just not the bones.”

”Got it.” Zhang Zhe looked at the camera. ”Now do you all believe she’s a 6 out of 10? You have to believe in the power of science.”

”Alright, now tell us, what type of man are you looking for?”

”I’m looking for a man who’s taller than me, and preferably, with an annual income higher than mine as well.”

”Not happening.” Zhang Zhe shook his head immediately. ”You’re dreaming. A man with an income higher than yours isn’t going to seriously date someone in the medical aesthetics industry. And if he does, it’ll just be for fun.”

”Why?” the woman asked, confused.

”It’s an issue with your profession’s reputation. I won’t go into the details; you should know what I’m talking about.”